Last week we talked about how especially in the dating world, first impressions are forever and lasting. It’s also equally as rough when you thought your first impression absolutely wooed the dude, yet he never calls you again. Sigh… Luckily for us, this week, a frisky pair from one of our events clued me in some of the reasons why he or she won’t be going out on that second date!
While cell phone manners, a lack of physical attraction, talking too much about yourself, and blatant pre-date lies definitely apply to both genders for a NO WAY… there are some specific reasons for why a GUY won’t get a chance at getting to 2nd base with a girl, or maybe even the time of day again!
And LADIES, if the phone doesn’t ring again, below you will find some real eye openers on why a guy won’t be calling back.
Ladies FIRST …here is 12 reasons why she isn’t going to come back for round two guys! There is no particular order mind below, all it takes is one or two of these gentlemen and you are done!
1. You’re Way Too Into Me: We’re all nervous about being liked on a first date, but nothing will scare us faster guys then when you are proposing marriage before the bread basket has arrived. Too much too fast makes me want to put on the brakes, get out and start running. Had you given me the chance to get to know you a bit, I might have been willing to say “sure I will marry you and no prenups for us!”
(well on second thought… maybe not)
2. You Drank Too Much: I would say this applies equally for both sides of the gender fences…Alcohol may help relax the initial first-date jitters. But no matter what, WASTED is not pretty and slurring isn’t sexy.
3. You’re Way Too Touchy-Feely: This behavior often goes hand in hand with #2. Most women want to get the sense that you respect us before we give you the green light (aka get naked with you), But if you’re already pawing at my butt, doing your best to out your hands all over me and we haven’t even kissed yet, expect a swift kick to the lower region on the date and a no answer on that next day call to me.
4. Bad Table Manners: A friend of mine once went out on a date with a guy who dunked his finger in his drink and then sucked the liquid off to show how sexy he was. Um, YUCK! Needless to say, there was no date #2.
5. You Didn’t Offer To Buy Me a Drink: I’m going to put this one as simple as possible and in one word…. CHEAP. Yes… when I become your girlfriend there will be times, we will be going Dutch. But if you invite me to meet you on a first date meeting in a bar and you don’t offer to get me even one drink, you’re a cheapskate. And there is nothing more unattractive then a cheap “what’s in it for me if I spend it one you” kinda man.
6. You Twittered In My Presence: Twittering while we’re on our first date? Busy texting, answering cell phone calls, won’t gain you any brownie points for having so many friends…instead it will mean one less new one.
7. Wandering or No Eye Contact:
I can’t trust you if you can’t look me in the eyes. Or worse, you seem more interested in eyeing the waitress. Even if it’s just from nerves, I don’t know if you’re anxious or a serial killer. Either way, you’re showing a serious lack of confidence. Big no no…
8. You Make Lots Of Big Declarative Statements About What You’re Looking For: Sounds more like you just want someone that will sit and look pretty, speak only when prompted with no opinion at all. Have you thought about getting a dog instead of a girlfriend? Don’t get me wrong; I want to know what kinds of things are important to you. But if you’re going down a checklist of you better be this or that… I have to wonder if a trainable golden retriever would be a better match for you then frisky little me.
9. You Called Your Ex-Girlfriend “Crazy”: Yep this one is a no-brainer, if you are saying that about the X you might be saying the same thing about me one day. But I’m even more afraid that you DO have a psycho X-girlfriend and, by dating you, I’ll incur her vengeful wrath while on a date with you!
10. You Didn’t Bring Anything To The Conversation: I’m glad you like what I have to say, but what’s on your mind? We’re not at that comfortable at date #1 in the silence stage.
11. The I Don’t Care This is ME Look: That T-shirt has a stain on it. And the baseball cap is not cute. You don’t have to get all fake fancy, but on the first date shouldn’t you be trying to look your best?
12. You Were Rude To The Waiter/Waitress: I once read the CEO of Staples never hires anyone for management until he takes them out to lunch and see how they speak to and treat the wait staff. If you’re already abusing your relationship with a waiter/waitress, what’s the future going to be like with you?
7 Reasons He Didn’t Ask You Out On A Second Date
Guys can be fickle, but sometimes, they have a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone to call us ladies… They are a bit simpler and less complicated then we women, therefore we have fewer reasons listed here. So here are 7 reasons why men might not call you back for that second date.
1. There’s no physical attraction. Men are visual there is no doubt about it. AND you have no control over this one, no right or wrong unless you dyed your hair pink and lost/gained 150 pounds before going on first date, that could certainly throw things off!
2. Talking too much about yourself or x-boyfriend. Don’t confuse confidence with vanity—if you’re going on and on about yourself, we’re not coming back for seconds. Be sure to keep the conversation two-sided, and keep some mystery alive by not jamming your biography into an hour-long dinner. And NO X-boyfriend talk! What guys hear when you talk about your X, even if you give the signal you like him is: “I’m still into this dude, but yeah, you’re, uh, pretty OK.”
4. Vulgarity. Guys like a girl who can be as vulgar as their guy friends, but don’t trot out your award-winning burps or four-letter fiestas until at least the second or third date.
5. Blatant pre-date lies. This one’s common with the internet dating crowd. Don’t tell lies about yourself before the date kicks off, be yourself always. Don’t say that you’re a rich hand model who enjoys Russian literature (yes some of this stuff really has been said… can’t make this stuff up) unless, of course, you actually can pull that one off by speaking Russian phases and getting the best manicure in town!
6. You missed his signals. Some guys have trouble making a move, and if you shrugged off his arm on your shoulder because you were hot or leaned away from a kiss because you heard your neighbors going through your trash, he might be feeling rejected. Call him to set things straight. And while you’re at it, call the cops on your creepy neighbors.
7. He still mourning someone else. If it was just a first date, an old relationship might have flared up again, or the guy might have met someone else that he’d rather date. There is no real obligation to call you and say anything since, well, it was a first date. Don’t hold it against him, but don’t wait around either. If you don’t get a call within about a week of the first date, forget about it and move on … NEXT
All the best on your quest!,