This week on Thursday 2/25 we held our “Flirting 101” workshop for Dating Success Simplified. And I think what we learned was:
Flirting is the ultimate welcome and very easy to give to someone.
When you flirt with someone, you are telling him or her that they are welcome in your world. To be welcomed is a gift and far more meaningful than it appears on the surface.
One of the oldest traditions of mankind is the welcome.
Welcoming others is a time-honored tradition, which enters many areas of our lives. The best companies know this and make a point of welcoming us when we visit their businesses. We buy welcome mats for our homes; we say “you’re welcome” in our everyday speech.
Those who know how to make others feel welcomed are the most loved and sought-after companions.
On the other hand, not feeling welcome – especially for a man – is a huge rejection. It’s the quickest kiss of death for any potential relationship.
When we don’t feel welcome somewhere, we immediately want to leave. As the saying goes, “I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.” An ego can be a fragile thing when not handled with care and affection.
What exactly is it to welcome someone?
It is to give someone your attention, and tell them that you are happy to have met them and be with them.
Some of the most seemingly unapproachable men can suddenly become very appealing and sexy indeed when inspired by a little flirting – because they suddenly feel noticed and welcomed.
The key to successful flirting is to keep it light, casual, and playful.
But its also equally important to know when to flirt and know when not to!
Don’t get me wrong – I am all for “assertive” flirting, not to be mistaken with “aggressive” flirting. It all has to be done in such a way that the other person does not see you as “aggressive”.
I know… “aggressive” is a loaded word that means different things to different people. I prefer the word assertive, and many men and women love when someone is assertive in flirting and paying attention to them.
But the bottom line is never be fearful of trying.
Go after what you want!
Playing it safe will never win anyone over.
Nothing ventured nothing gained.
OK so sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, or maybe because of them – (trying too hard) things do not always go the way we want them to.
Just it let go.
What is to be is to be, and what is not to be, is not.
If you run into a situation where you find yourself in a “dead end” after trying to be playful / flirty with some, its ok! Don’t freak out.
Just use some charm, and maybe some humor too, you will find it will never steer you wrong in the long haul.
Trust yourself that you will instinctively know just how far to “push” with anyone.
Here’s some links to tips on Flirting for both men and women:
OK so now you need to go out and practice your flirting skills!
Try them out on strangers in the grocery store, the laundry mat, on the LIRR, or at the mall. Hey… even if you make a mistake, you most likely won’t see them again anyway! AND you will be that much more practiced and ready when you go to a singles event.
*Next Flirting workshop will be Thursday 4/22 place TBD
All the best on your quest!,