Recently I went out of town and stayed with my girlfriend’s guy friends. I didn’t know at all any of these guys, I had only heard from my friend about how awesome her friends were, which convinced me to stay with them.
When I got there, the minute I saw the guys, in my mind all I could think of is “how cute they were”. Though I knew that both of them had girlfriends I wasn’t apprehensive about flirting with them at all. The first night of my stay went in drinking, building rapport and plain craziness.
I was constantly thinking which one of them should I choose; it’s not every day that a good-looking girl like me is surrounded by good-looking guys!
Anyway as the morning dawned I knew whom I’d like to have a clandestine affair with, hence started a wooing game with the guy. In the back of my mind, I knew he was not really caring about me, cause he had enough of girls to choose from (a Casanova type).
Soon the harmless flirting turned into a power game for me to try to win him over. For some reason, I forgot why I went on this break… for an important reason, to try to heal my broken heart from a breakup.
I didn’t care that my friendship with my girlfriend was at stake.
I didn’t care that I would be more heart-broken in the end. I knew the truth was that although the man I was pursuing was a sweetheart as a friend, but he is a Casanova who didn’t care a bit about the girl he slept with. He did make it very clear that he would be with his girl till the end. Yet I wanted to be in bed with him, to be able to live my fantasy, and I did exactly that.
When I snapped out of my lust the result was as expected, I had lost my self-esteem, respect and friendship in more ways than one. I was guilty of being swayed away by emotions, and indulging with a man whose girlfriend loved him dearly. I was so consumed by my own selfish needs that knowingly I let my lust be bigger than my heart.
This happen a few weeks ago and I’m still trying to find ways to deal with it…
Maybe you can give me some advice and insight on what to do at this point?
You know and have all the answers to your own dilemma already…
In fact you KNOW you created your own demise and sadness.
Its like you even SAW the cop sitting there right on the corner- and said…
“Oh looks like I will get caught but what the hell, I don’t want to stop…”
My guess is Alcohol played a big part in this blowing all the stop signs night. It lowers your inhibitions and the silences that little voice called “conscience” that keeps us from being reckless and throw caution to the wind.
Need a “stop button” on that drinking activity especially when hanging around the opposite sex!
So what to do from here is the next plan…
I was once told GUILT is a useless emotion.
Remorse is about making amends.
Saying your sorry to your friend may or may not repair the damage- but doing nothing is worse.
Cut any forms of communications off with the guys that have girlfriends.
YOU deserve more – and make a pack with yourself, from here forward that this was your life lesson.
You respect yourself too much and are way to worthy, to be with anyone for a one-night stand. YOU deserve to be with a man that considers YOU his ONLY love, HIS girlfriend and is Loyal to you!
You can’t change what already happened.
But you can change how you will conduct yourself in the future.
Forgive yourself and LEARN the lesson and move on.
That’s all you can do.
And some mistakes will mean that some will not forgive us for those mistakes.
But you must forgive yourself, and take the lesson with you and DON’T repeat the mistake! Have some responsible fun.
And speaking of making the same mistake over again…
A saying comes to mind:
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get, what you have gotten.
Peace out Girl Scout!
All the best on your quest!,