In real estate, there is a term for how appealing a property is to a given prospect driving by it. They call it curb appeal. Some houses the prospect looks at and thinks, ”Boy would I love to live there!” Other houses get a response, “Well, I guess I could live there if I had to.”
Low curb appeal has to reduce price tag or spruce up to sell.
In dating, it is just the same. Dating consultants, call it a person’s romantic market value.
As with all things involving human beings, romantic market value is a rather complex issue. Physical appearance, fitness, grooming, attire, posture and speech are components of it, so too are less tangible factors involving social status, ascribed status, social skills and presentation skills. What is important in a dating is that you present to prospective dates the best possible package of attributes that you realistically can.
To accomplish this, you have to start out with a fairly accurate picture of how others are going to perceive you. This is not something that you can do by yourself. Very few of us are capable of accurately assessing ourselves (the good or the bad). and this is not something that your friends can do for you. According to them, you are fine just the way you are. They lie. You need to hear the things they are afraid to tell you as well as the things you really do not want to hear. You need a knowledgeable professional assessment. Get such assessment. When you have it, go through it thoughtfully and correct the things that you can correct.
TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND INCREASE YOUR ROMANTIC MARKET VALUE
Probably, the deficiencies that you most shy away from correcting, are the ones you really should put your effort into correcting. Things like losing weight, getting fit, developing outside interests, optimizing your wardrobe, learning to dance, addressing better grooming are things can do for yourself with a small extra effort, time and expense. Making these self improvements (sprucing up) will make your life better and give you a huge competitive edge in dating. Keeping in mind no pain no gain…that virtually all growth is painful. Do not expect to accomplish these kinds of transformational changes overnight. It is too easy to cop out, drop out, give up. Work with a support group or a professional coach who will keep you focused, encourage your efforts and hold you accountable. The money that you spend will be a constant spur to keep you from giving up and they will push you to be your best. You will whine, snivel and complain but you will make progress. The goal is not to make you into something that you aren’t but to make you the best you that you can be.
Try attending our monthly DATING SUCCESS WORKSHOP’S to get you started!
Click here CLICK HERE for more details on this week’s workshop
AND we have started a new weekly fun exercise event on Wednesday starting in JUNE ~ WE FIT WEDNESDAYS’
Yoga on the Beach, Belly dancing, Zumba and more!
See our calendar of events http://www.7-in-heaven.com/calendar.html
ABSOLUTELY REJECT THE IDEA THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM
If you let them, frustration and pain from your past relationships will poison your new relationships. It is easy to get caught up in ideas like “my boyfriend was an asshole” or “I keep running into nothing but certified bitches”. The truth is, we always have a certain amount of culpability in these scenarios. Assigning blame is an utterly useless concept, whereas understanding what caused our past failures helps us avoid repeating the same insanity. It may be hard, but avoid thinking that anyone, other than yourself, caused your unhappiness. Own your own life, the successes and the failures. You need to take a look at what you did or did not do that invited the outcomes that you experienced. When you have an answer that you are comfortable with, go back and think some more. It is the first step to not repeating the same old mistakes. Work through these things and drain the emotional poison that will effect how dating partners will or will not be drawn to you.
MORE IS NOT BETTER — BETTER IS BETTER
Do not confuse dating a lot with dating successfully. Dating practice is essential, but innumerable wrong dates are infinitely less valuable that a few right ones. Do not feel that you have to be constantly dating. Constantly going on unproductive dates wastes your emotional, psychological and physical capital. Save it for those instances where you feel that you have the most chance for a successful outcome. When you go out on a date, you are investing your time, money, energy and emotional vulnerability. Be selective. In the movie Three to Tango, there is a great line. The heroine asks the guy, “so have you ever kissed a girl?” and he replies, “Never the right one.” A certain amount of experience is critical, but beyond that point, it does not matter how many people you have kissed, it only matters when you kiss the right one.
All the best on your quest!,