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Are You Secretly Judgmental Of Others?

Do you notice that you often secretly judge others?

For example, your sister tells you about a new car she bought and you think, She can’t possibly afford that car on her salary. She’s so irresponsible about money.

A Big Clue That You Don’t Love Yourself

Or your partner leaves his dirty dishes in the sink before heading out to meet his friends and you think, He’s so lazy and sloppy. It drives me bananas.

Throughout the day, every day, you find yourself silently criticizing others.

My co-worker at work has gotten scatter-brained… my neighbor is too nosy… my friend is too self-absorbed with posting selfies on social media…

What does this all mean?

Are you surrounded by people who don’t have their act together?

Is society just falling apart?

Or is this a clue about something way deeper and way more fundamental about YOU?

How Your Relationship With Others Brings Up The Next Biggest Thing You Need To Learn About Yourself

When we judge others or feel our “buttons being pushed” by the things they say and do, we may actually be projecting our feelings onto others.

We are accusing others of the very things we disown or reject about ourselves.

Here’s how it works…

Let’s say you have a fear of rejection that stems from something far back in childhood.

More than likely, you’re unaware of this fear. You haven’t yet acknowledged it. Or you know about it, but reject that it’s an issue.

Your subconscious mind is aware of it, though. And that part of your mind will always seek opportunities to work out this old issue. It will lead you into situations where you can bring that fear into your awareness.

In other words, you will enter into relationships with people who will “trigger” that fear or unacknowledged emotion inside you.

You will attract a relationship where your partner will withdraw, act cold, make plans with his or her friends instead of with you, have a hobby they love that doesn’t (or can’t) involve you, etc.

Instead of causing you to face and accept your fear, their behavior will cause you to be secretly judgmental or critical.

You don’t think, Hmm, I’m feeling afraid that he’s going to abandon me and I’ll be alone again.

Instead you think, He never spends time with me, he’s off having fun instead of fixing these things around the house, he’s wasting money playing golf all day when he should be saving money and spending the day with me.

Another example – let’s say that you consider yourself a neat, tidy and financially conservative person. You keep your home and car clean and you never spend more than you make.

But deep down, you’re really someone who wishes they could forgo responsibility for a while, kick up their feet, and be self-indulgent for a change.

However, you don’t want to admit that to yourself. It’s just not something you accept about yourself, for whatever reason. Maybe in childhood you were rejected for being that way.

Your creative mind will actually draw you into situations where you are around people who seem sloppy, irresponsible and flaky.

And instead of admitting that you’re a little bit like them, you will find yourself secretly complaining about them.

What Do You Need To Accept About Yourself In Order To Love Yourself?

When you don’t, or can’t, acknowledge your feelings or accept something about yourself, it’s a sign that deep down, you don’t love yourself.

And if you don’t love yourself, you’ll never feel completely at peace with yourself and the world around you.

You’ll always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because YOU think you’re less than perfect.

Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you’ll never be able to be fully loved by anyone else, either.

How This One Breakthrough Can Change Your Whole Life

There was a time in my life many years ago when I so badly wanted love and acceptance, but all I did was criticize my (ex) wife and accuse her of being nit-picky and too sensitive.

A Big Clue That You Don’t Love Yourself

I had several other unhappy relationships in my 20s and 30s before I met Katie. I thought women were too critical and too obsessed with talking about feelings. I didn’t fully believe them when they said they loved me or wanted me to be happy.

The truth was, I was out of touch with my own feelings. I wasn’t “sensitive” enough to what my mind and heart wanted and needed. Therefore, I projected those unacknowledged aspects of myself onto others.

I was secretly judgmental.

It wasn’t until I had a major breakthrough in my life where I finally learned how to love myself that all that changed.

I met and fell in love, lost 100 pounds, and exploded my career.

Learning to love yourself in a relationship is seeing that you will create the very situations you need that allow you to experience the parts of yourself you cannot love.

When you do that, you stop seeing the “wrong” in others. You stop being triggered all the time, and you become a less judgmental person.

When you love all of yourself, as if by magic, you will find yourself being completely loved by others.

Peace and Joy this Holiday Season to all

Warmly,

Gail Adams  7 in Heaven Singles Events

www.7inHeaven.com

*Article was originally written by Kate and Gay CLICK HERE to view

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This information is brought to you by Orna!

Hello singles out there!

I want to share 3 important words that have changed my life forever when it came to finding love. Those words are: WomanSad

Nobody is coming.

 
********************************************
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
********************************************

Listen, if you and I were sitting across from each other in a cafe, and we were being totally honest with each other, here’s what I would say to you (because I care enough about you to give you the straight truth with no sugar coating):

“Is it fair to say that you’ve been struggling with relationships for a while now? Sure sometimes it’s been easier than others, but in the end… here you are… still single and waiting for “the one” to show up.”

“You have to take responsibility for what’s in Your Love Imprint™ and change it so that it guides you toward success… automatically. If you don’t change Your Love Imprint™, I guarantee that your unconscious mind is going to keep making you feel attracted to guys that are wrong for you.”

“Nobody is coming to magically fix things. You have to do the same thing you did in your career and take action so you can be successful.”

Ouch… I know. But in our heart of hearts, you know it’s the truth, and I’m the one who cares enough to give it to you straight.

********************************************
DO I TAKE MY OWN ADVICE?
********************************************

Absolutely.

Once I finally stopped trying to figure out what was wrong with all the men out there and started looking at my own love imprint, I was shocked at what I found in there.
couple_happy
I finally realized that NOTHING I did was going to work until my love imprint was straightened out, and that’s when I took action.  

The result? I met my soulmate, got married, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been 🙂

And guess what? It was EASY! It was sooooooooo much easier once my love imprint was actually working to attract a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one.

What about you?

 
Love and Abundance,
Orna

 

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This morning I was searching and searching for my mouse pad.
Spent a good 20 minutes or so, checking here…then checking there… huh! 
Where could it have disappeared to? I gave up the search, and opened my laptop.
POP there it was, found it!
On my keyboard hiding.
It kind of reminded me of the cliche while dating “You always find something when you’re not looking.”When someone is frustrated with their love life search, people love to tell you… “You always find someone when you’re not looking.”
The idea is that relationships only come along when you’re so frustrated that you stop looking, like the universe is taking pity on you or something. And the “advice,” is then translated to just stop looking for a relationship.
This cliche is better translated to  “When you lose something, it’s always in the last place you look.”  Because really when you think about nothing is ever really “lost” its just in another place!

But getting back to the original “You always find someone when you’re not looking” I’ll admit it does have some truth to it—as you’re more likely to find a relationship when you’re not spending 12 hours a day on match.com—

but it’s not because you’ve stopped looking.

The people who seem most attractive are those who seem happy, well-adjusted, confident, and, most important—busy. When someone seems like they have a full and exciting life, other people want to be part of it.
Desperate is never pretty.
As one man once said to me… I can smell desperate from a mile away.

When you “stop looking” (which we will translate as “stop looking desperate”), you’re sending these kinds of signals.  Your life seems so cool and interesting that you’re not going to drop everything to look for a boyfriend, and that’s precisely why guys are going to want to be yours.

So the trick isn’t to stop looking; it’s to make it seem as though you’re not looking   But instead to project a persona that seems too awesome to settle for just anyone, and to market your life as something that everyone should want.

This means not skipping the gym for a date with a guy you met casually at Star Bucks the other day

It means not showing up for singles events and have a bored or mad look on your face because prince charming didn’t ride in that night
or making statements like ” I’m giving up! There is no one one out there “ As if this will attract someone to you right away since you have now stopped looking! 
It means building a life that’s totally fun and fulfilling without the partner, but when a partner does comes along, it means making sure he knows you will be a happy person with or without him.

PS of course you can come on out and have fun while you wait for “the one” at our events with
7 in Heaven, so much to do, something for everyone

See you there!

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804



Personal Matchmaking Services
by  
Gailwww.HeavenlyMatch.net

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So up to this point, there has not been too much

competition in the personal MATCHMAKING services for Long Island

Well that has all changed now…

Heavenly MATCH  is here on Long Island for Matchmaking  services

How many singles are here on Long Island?

Long Island is made up of a very diverse group of people.  As of the 2010, Long Island had a population of 7,568,304 making it the most populated island in any U.S. state or territory! AND in the entire USA 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older were SINGLE! So if we do our math correctly… about 333,000 residents of Long Island SINGLE.

Now you might think its easy to find someone with all these singles living in one spot right? Well think again; one person described it to me this way… Imagine you are at a big mall with thousands of people there at one time, how many of those people do you think you would get to meet personally and how many would you actually want to date?

Why would someone hire a matchmaker?

Personal matchmaking takes the tiresome legwork out of dating by outsourcing ‘the search’ for interesting, like-minded individuals that have YOUR same desires at heart. My prior years of experience and background as a head-hunting / corporate recruiter, makes me a sharp judge of character in a mate making me your Perfect Personal Liaison for LOVE!

And our sister company 7 in Heaven Singles Events is a perfect combination for networking and meeting long island singles.

We currently have over 5000 Long Island Singles as members!

What kind of individuals become exclusive clients of matchmakers?Generally most clients are upscale professionals age 28 to 40+ and looking to settle down and start a life with someone for the first time. Other clients are in their 40′s and 50′s and up, established in life, perhaps already have been married prior, and seeking to fulfill their goals of finding the right life partner for the rest of their lives.

Learn more about this new Matchmaking Service by clicking HERE

Check out our GREAT Articles on Dating Advice, Stories and Support on this blog!

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”J” wrote in:

Though I don’t think I had an interest in anyone at the event last night, and I had fun and met some nice people, – it felt sad, kind of down on myself that no one had an interest in me.   I usually meet people easily just in the everyday world and then I go to an event and feel rotten about myself  – yeah, ugly, old, and out of sorts…….

I think it just feels more natural when it is an event that one likes but not specifically geared towards “hey I’m single, I’m here and are you interested?”   I maybe might try it one more time, but not in a comfort level when I’m at an event that labels me as “single”.  Now tell me… is this stupid or what?

———————————————————————————————————-

Dear “J”

Thank you for allowing me to understand what is going on with your emotions regarding being single.
As an intuitive person, and my life experience interviewing people, I can get a good (not GREAT… just good) idea of what might be going on behind the scenes

1. First this  type of event- an activity mixer event, is not structured the same as a REGULAR SPEED DATING event, where the focus of the whole evening is on the “score sheet” which… by the way, I never call it.

I refer to it as a Secret Ballot.

That’s because the whole concept of “rating” comes to mind with the word “Score” and that is really not what its about.
Just like yourself, you are attracted to some but not everyone.

We are all the same. Some will be attracted to you, but maybe you will not be attracted to them. OR maybe you are attracted but the other is not attracted to you.

A MATCH is when the 2 lucky people agree… they are both attracted to each other.
We should do our best, to try to understand this is not personal!!

It is… what it is…… ONE person’s opinion and not attracted to us, BUT so many others ARE attracted to us!

2. About being single… I don’t remember if you told me what your situation was… but my guess is that you (like myself) were married or in a very long committed relationship and now are single.
People that have been single all their lives understand stand this world so much better!     I had a bit of a learning curve myself, since I had met my husband at 19, married at 22 and then single again at 45.
Girl let me tell you, I still a work in progress!
Some suggested reading for you on being single TURN YOUR CAB LIGHT ON…
above is a link to a used copy CHEAP at Half.com
Maybe I like this author because she is ALSO a recruiter turned dating adviser just like ME!    I like the no-nonsense advise she gives.

3. I think just like all of us, you need to consider what to work on first … and I think it’s about being more comfortable being single… being “labeled” as SINGLE, and realizing its not that bad.
It’s a state of being. If you have had a few rotten relationships in your life, you know there is nothing easy about dealing with a rotten relationship! Being single has it challenges too, but it’s never as lonely being single and alone then being in a rotten relationship AND being alone!!!

Its interesting that you wrote you don’t want to be labeled as single, when in fact so many PAY to go to event just so they can be with those that are like themselves … SINGLE. I mean who wants to be hanging around couples on a night out. For example let’s take New Years eve, when the whole thing is so focused on being a couple that night! If I spent the night with a bunch of people that were not single… then that’s when I would feel most awkward. Especially since now that I have been single for coming up to 8 years. (I was married 22 yrs)

I would rather spend my time with others making new single friends, that in fact, will give me the opportunity to meet someone I will have a future with and maybe BE a couple again.
Am I making any sense here or what?
Please do write me your thoughts on this subject comments below or …

So what’s so BAD about being single? (polls)

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

PS – Got a friend that needs some encouragement?
Forward this blog – they’ll thank you for it!

 

on your search for the one we make being single fun

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com


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It’s that time of year… and singles that are dealing with a recent death or breakup / separation the transition of making these life changing experiences can be especially challenging during the Holiday season.

No one wants to be alone. Best simple suggestion to help you feel a little better during this adjustment period  try volunteering your time or donating to help those less fortunate.

There are countless charities around that would need your help and would love for you to offer your time or donation.

Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home will help remind you how fortunate you really are despite your current situation.

Check it out and find charitable activities that will stimulate and amuses you.

Visit  Long Island Volunteer Center  pick an organization that you feel most passionate about! Get involved make new friends

Not everyone will be single, but it will make you feel good, and you may just make some new single friends!

*ALL THIS MONTH!

Donate, time, money or an item.. receive a $5 off coupon from 7 in Heaven for an event!

Donation boxes and collections  at every event this month

7 in Heaven’s Charity picks for this month:

CLEANING ANGELS   by Theresa Family Cleaning  

*Cleans houses for free for those undergoing cancer treatments $65 cleans one house but any amount donation is appreciated

Needs donations in any amount

——————————————————————-

HOPE for Youth  (Foster Care assistance)

* Helps Foster children and their families with housing, guidance and support. Goal is to keep them on the right path!

Needs  donations and or – organizations/ businesses that can donate services such as – accounting, youth athletic programs (karate, dance etc..) Printer business for flyers, Taxi services anything that might help! call and ask…..

OR – new toys for older teens- EXAMPLES- Gift Cards for Movies, Mall shopping, Best Buys, Itunes…used or new WEE Games or other electronic games.

———————————————————————-

Homeless VETERANS of Northport

*Donations of toiletries such as toothpaste, flip/flops for showers, soap, shampoo are being collected at Events this month for 7 in Heaven. Try the dollar store! can get all these items for $1 each!

Bring any of these items to an event – Receive a $5 off coupon at the event for your donation.

* Visit the web site above to see how you can volunteer your time with activities they have for the vets there,

———————————————————————-

Another suggestion is:
Long Island Food Not Bombs

Which is an amazing organization that helps share FREE food to Long Islanders in need.

You can donate food, or items you don’t want and it will go to those that need it!

This community organization shares free groceries, clothing, books, toys, etc… with anyone that can use it.

The people that come to LIFNB don’t just get some food, they share and give a good portion of what a person may need for a whole week.

That means on most days folks can leave with 3 or 4 large bags of fresh organic groceries, (breads, fruits, veggies, protein, juice etc.)

Long Island Food Not Bombs shares every week at these locations:
*Click on the town for more details
Every Sunday @ 2pm in Hempstead
Every Monday @ 5:30pm in Coram
Every Tuesday @ 6:30pm in Huntington
Every Thursday @ 7pm in Farmingville
Every Saturday @ 3pm in BedStuyAnd don’t forget….people need help all year round.

Our jammed packed calendar this month of DECEMBER with fun activities and new places to visit, means there is no reason to be alone this holiday season! come on out and make some new friends!

You can check the Calendar online for more details about this weeks events and other fun stuff on the calendar coming up.

DON’T MISS our Big GALA NEW YEARS PARTY!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

about this fabulous NEW YEARS EVE PARTY 2011!

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


Visit the web site to check out our fun events

http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously


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“I went to one event of yours and I didn’t met anyone I wanted to date”

My response – You went to ONE event and you didn’t meet anyone?

Ladies and Gentlemen– it rarely happens in ONE event, but it DOES happen one day ! And hopefully when that time arrives we have enough time to enjoy each other.

People ask me all the time…What is your success rate?

I quickly respond- “I have no success rate, I am not a matchmaker”

My job is to create fun events, bring people together and let the universe do the rest. Rarely am I kept in the loop, as to who connected with who, unless the couple is kind enough to share their story.

*This below true story hopefully will bring new faith and inspiration to you all while searching

Steve G. was a single gentleman that attended my events. He first started coming to my events back in 2008 when I first got started. Steve was patient in his search, and many times left the event knowing that maybe he made a few new friends, but not a match made in heaven.

Well, about a year ago- Steve G met Diane at one of my events. I thought Diane had made a good connection with another gentleman whom we will call “SAM” that evening, not necessarily Steve. Diane and Steve had “picked” each other for a match however.

Well about 4 months later, I called Steve one night, and asked:

Hey Steve where you’ve been? Have any plans tonight? Would you like to join us?”

Steve’s voice became sad and low, he said “Gail, I just found out this week I have Leukemia.” I was stunned and said. Oh Steve, I am so sorry to hear that. We discussed it a little more, and then I said goodbye and wished him the best in his recovery.

I went about my busy life and occasionally a thought came to mind – wondering how Steve was making out.

This past weekend, I held a Speed-Dating event and received a last minute call from Diane. She asked if she could join us, as she just needed to get out for the night. I said OK, and then Diane went on to explain she had been Dating STEVE G for the past year since they met at my Speed-Dating event.

I said REALLY? (remembering how I thought the connection was with “SAM”)

Diane went on to explain yes, Steve was not the first one she went out on a date with from that night, but the second. Steve called her, and picked her up and when he arrived, she noticed his charming cute half smile and said to herself, “Hey I think this date will be fun!”

3 months later, Steve suddenly surprised her with a fantastic weekend for them. At the end of the weekend, Diane, not knowing said “OK what’s this talk about? You breaking up with me now that you and I have had this fantastic weekend together” ?

Steve said, “Kinda; it might be best. I just found out I have Leukemia”

Diane said “You’re not getting rid of me!”

They spent this past year together having a BLAST. Diane accompanied Steve EVERYWHERE, they traveled saw old friends – Steve and Diane fell in love.

Steve and Diane dated right up until Steve’s battle with Leukemia ended May 2nd 2011

Steve had never been married, no children and had finally found someone special he so much enjoyed.

Steve did not attend one of my events but many of my events. And he did find someone, sadly and unbeknownst to him, the last year of his life.

Maybe Steve had become more open about the small stuff when choosing mates. When you know your time is limited, everything seems to really take a back seat.

Or maybe it really did take this much time to meet someone special.

Who knows.

It sure makes me think, how much time is wasted and how petty we can all be when it comes to dating.

And gives new meaning to the saying “Carpe’ Diem

Latin for : Seize the day or Live Life to the Fullest

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

Read Full Post »

OK so its Valentines Day.

Personally I think Valentine ’s day may have started with good intentions as a day to celebrate love, but nowadays it has become another day to guilt people into shopping compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love.

But for those of us that are single, this can be a rather challenging day to get through without the valentines in your face reminders of our unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic bliss with.

Being single shouldn’t be a reason to feel blue however, and neither should Valentine’s Day. Instead of letting this mostly commercially-fueled holiday drag you down, why not celebrate being single?

VALENTINES DAYInstead of focusing on what you “don’t have” concentrate on what you DO have, celebrate love! For example maybe you are blessed with a loving family,  a sister/ brother you are close to. Your children who love you or fun faithful friends! Spend time with the family and friends in your life that love you at maybe a coffee shop, book store, anywhere but the restaurants packed with both happy and unhappy couples going through the motions!

Remember, when you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed. Whether you are, or are not, in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person.

AND if you don’t want to be single, this is a perfect time to reflect on why you are single, and what you can do about it. Are you ready to start dating again? Do you know how to start a conversation with a stranger? Do you spend time in places conducive to meeting new single people?

Come out on Thursday 2/14/13 Valentines Day to our CUPID MINGLE    a fantastic event held inside a mansion in Suffolk County, and it is also a Nature Center the door money ($10 entrance) goes toward the organization A glass of wine and lots of cupcakes and chocolates to sample included

Check out our  DATING WORKSHOP a great places to get started with your new journey!                                Next event Wed 2/13 in Huntington @ XO Wine and Chocolate Restaurant The Topic is “FLIRTING 101” see details – CLICK HERE

Our Ladies BrunchSunday March 3 (SUFFOLK) and Sunday April 7 (NASSAU)  to make new single friends (held every 1st Sunday of the month), and our Dating Workshops  are

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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It’s that time of year… and singles that are dealing with a recent death or breakup / separation the transition of making these life changing experiences can be especially challenging during the Holiday season.

No one wants to be alone. Best simple suggestion to help you feel a little better during this adjustment period  try volunteering your time or donating to help those less fortunate.

There are countless charities around that would need your help and would love for you to offer your time or donation.

Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home will help remind you how fortunate you really are despite your current situation.

Check it out and find charitable activities that will stimulate and amuses you.

Visit  Long Island Volunteer Center  pick an organization that you feel most passionate about! Get involved make new friends

Not everyone will be single, but it will make you feel good, and you may just make some new single friends!

7 in Heaven’s Charity picks for this month:

CLEANING ANGELS   by Theresa Family Cleaning  

*Cleans houses for free for those undergoing cancer treatments $65 cleans one house but any amount donation is appreciated

Needs donations in any amount

——————————————————————-

HOPE for Youth  (Foster Care assistance)

* Helps Foster children and their families with housing, guidance and support. Goal is to keep them on the right path!

Needs  donations and or – organizations/ businesses that can donate services such as – accounting, youth athletic programs (karate, dance etc..) Printer business for flyers, Taxi services anything that might help! call and ask…..

OR – new toys for older teens- EXAMPLES- Gift Cards for Movies, Mall shopping, Best Buys, Itunes…used or new WEE Games or other electronic games.

———————————————————————-

Homeless VETERANS of Northport

*Donations of toiletries such as toothpaste, flip/flops for showers, soap, shampoo are being collected at Events this month for 7 in Heaven. Receive a $5 off coupon at the event for your donation.

* Visit the web site above to see how you can volunteer your time with activities they have for the vets there,

 

Another suggestion is:
Long Island Food Not Bombs

Which is an amazing organization that helps share FREE food to Long Islanders in need.

You can donate food, or items you don’t want and it will go to those that need it!

This community organization shares free groceries, clothing, books, toys, etc… with anyone that can use it.

The people that come to LIFNB don’t just get some food, they share and give a good portion of what a person may need for a whole week.

That means on most days folks can leave with 3 or 4 large bags of fresh organic groceries, (breads, fruits, veggies, protein, juice etc.)

Long Island Food Not Bombs shares every week at these locations:
*Click on the town for more details
Every Sunday @ 2pm in Hempstead
Every Monday @ 5:30pm in Coram
Every Tuesday @ 6:30pm in Huntington
Every Thursday @ 7pm in Farmingville
Every Saturday @ 3pm in BedStuyAnd don’t forget….people need help all year round.

Our jammed packed calendar this month of DECEMBER with fun activities and new places to visit, means there is no reason to be alone this holiday season! come on out and make some new friends!

You can check the Calendar online for more details about this weeks events and other fun stuff on the calendar coming up.

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


Visit the web site to check out our fun events

http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously


Read Full Post »

Hungry Ghosts looking for Love

From one of my favorite books  – Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

What is a Hungry Ghost?

Someone who cannot find love.

Its not that love has not come their way… Hundreds of time in their life they are led to tables spread with endless food and precious delights, but no matter how much they eat (date)… they cannot be satisfied. Either they aren’t at the table in time, or can’t seem to taste the food or no matter how much they put in their mouths, they continue to search for more. Hungry ghosts might sample one relationship after another yet not knowing how to digest it, never satisfied.

 

They never know or get to know the REAL person who is actually standing right in front of them.

 

All they know is that they want more… and more… and more…

 

They fantasize that someone ELSE… the “perfect person” is about to walk through the door.

 

Certain wounded hungry ghosts, may appear like they are available for love, but they really only have an intention to “play the game” the game of seducing and teasing and when love does find them…they reject the person. Their pleasure is in withdrawing the love they seem to be offering. This provides these ghosts with a sense of control so that nobody will ever control them through the strange experience of love.

 

Hungry Ghosts are the single people who enter huge rooms filled with hundreds of single people and immediately say “ there is no one here tonight” they cannot experience or be satisfied with that which life presents. In terms of relationships, they go around and around on a merry-go-round grabbing for the gold ring which is always just beyond their reach. OR if they do catch it, they soon discover to their horror that it is not actually gold! but brass.

 

All of this is exhausting and disheartening and makes the hungry ghost very sad.

 

Even when they are with someone they love, they often wonder, could someone else be their TRUE soul mate out there? Could they missing them?

 

Their painful affliction, which has become quite familiar, has become hard to change.

Its almost like they have developed an affliction for this pattern. Maybe they love being alone?

 

What the hungry ghost is lacking is the one missing very important ingredient to falling in love…

 

PATIENCE

It takes time for a person to feel at home in a relationship and to reveal whom they really are so you can see the good inside. It takes time to wait for another and to develop true caring and trust.

Hungry ghost however have a difficult time with patience.

Starving for food and love they will often grab at anything just to satisfy themselves. Sometimes don’t even know the difference between food and garbage! They take in anything in anyway just as long as they can immediately feel full … it’s the hollow feeling they can’t tolerate that drives their lives.

 

Does this information seem to describe you somewhat?

Hungry Ghosts never satisfied?

What can you do to change to become more successful and break the bad karma?

 

First and foremost we must STOP our attachment to the patterns and false notions that the love we so desperately crave comes from somewhere, or someone else. When we are dependent upon the external world to fulfill us, sooner or later the rock we keep trying to roll up the mountain begins to fall down.

Conditions change

People leave

Our sense of ourselves falters with the changes

 

Without the hardships, how can we appreciate what is valuable? And just as quickly, love can happen in a second, but we have to be open and ready to accept it.

 

We discount so many on first impressions while we are waiting for the “right one” to appear.

 

Take time today to relax, to be patience.

To know wishing or demanding love to happen NOW will only prolong your search.

 

Enjoy life as best you can, enjoy the days, evenings and weekends making new friends even if you don’t meet “the one” that very night.

 

To check out this weeks events CLICK HERE

 

Lots of fun creative ways to enjoy life, make friends and fall in love!

All the best on your quest!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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Everyone has to learn to simply just stop being so disappointed…

That’s what one single gentleman recently had to say when he heard the buzz around the room from a few overeager singles. Their expectations for the evening were way beyond reality.

YES, having desires hopes and dreams is what keeps us alive, moving and aspiring. But when you don’t keep a balance and expect too much in too little amount of time, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I often give the example that if you were to walk into Vegas for the first time, do you really think you can walk over to the first slot machine, throw in a few dollars and win BIG on the first spin?

Yes… it could happen just that way- you could win big on the first try. We all have heard stories about this. But we all know that certainly is not the average, every day occurrence.

Same goes for our search for the one.

It will happen for you, when, where and how is not in our control. What we can do is adjust the odds a bit. The more creative ways we seek to put ourselves out there, and the amount of time we are willing devote and participate meeting other single people, will greatly increase your odds of making your search a short one.

Creative and fun activities with the right mindset are a great way to pass the time, while waiting to meeting someone. Go to an event with the intention of having a good time, with a possible bonus of meeting someone. Step outside of your comfort zone and venture into some new locations. We have many new locations and types of events coming up, include SPEED DATING, Halloween party, Board Game night, Bike riding and many other ways to interact and make new single friends.

Check out our Calendar of events.

However, no one should ever expect instant results out of any singles event.

Having a variety of different ways to meet someone will help with burnout, which is what develops when we spend too much time at trying to meet someone.

That’s when you need to take a short vacation from finding the one, but don’t give up!

There is something to the old saying  “you will find it when you least expect it”

Set your intention to find someone, but don’t hold on too tightly to it.

Constantly expecting and concentrating too hard on will make you burn out, and start to feel like you’re just beating your head against a brick wall.

How to tell is you have reached the burnout point?

If you find you can’t remember the last time you went on a really good date, it’s a sign that you are getting burned out on the whole experience, or worse, that all your dates really have been bad. Either way, you probably ought to stop dating for a while to get yourself together and figure out what the problem is.

Here’s another sign you need to try something different: when all your conversations start to sound the same. It happens to everyone that dates regularly. This is because dating is a test, people judge one another, and so they find it necessary to play it safe by saying the same things or repeating the same types of dates over and over. But playing it safe doesn’t provide much stimulation.

 

Also if you have the belief system that you will never find what you’re looking for, then its time to take a step back. If the point of dating is to meet someone that you hope will be the one, that you can love and will love you, and then if you stop believing this will happen, then all of your future dates become pointless. Taking a new direction, and a new approach and hopefully help you gain some new perspective and possibly a more hopeful outlook.

If this is where you are today, don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t found the love relationship you so ardently desire. Even the best boxer in the world sometimes has to go down for the count before he can get back up and start fighting again.

Stop making decisions about whether to go to any particular event based on how many single men or women might be there. Accept your state of singleness and enjoy all the good things about it. Use this time to improve yourself, pamper yourself.

Be secure in the knowledge that you – yourself are enough and don’t need anyone else to be happy. Then when you do attend a single event you will be more attractive and confident open  (less desperate and needy) and will probably meet a great partner in no time!

All the best on your quest!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

or visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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In the Beatles song  “I’m a loser” we all relate to what their message has to say about being alone and single.  And much advice has been written for us unmarried people… AKA SINGLES.

Most of the advice out there is about: how to find a man, how to woo the woman of your dreams… and of course, how to get hitched. Sometime the books and advice will make you believe, as though marriage or having a boyfriend/girlfriend were the only answer to someone’s problems…or will enable you to take your “respectful” place in society, make you feel more successful now that you found that someone.

However, is this always appropriate?

Don’t get me wrong…there is nothing wrong with being married. However, with a rate of one out of every two marriages ending in divorce, it’s pretty evident that one can’t expect someone else to fulfill them or bring them happiness or completeness, no matter what the love songs say. Also, more people are staying unmarried for longer periods of time, and to me they should be treated with respect and considered as valuable as someone wearing a wedding band.

I have been both married for many years and single now for 8 years, so I know both sides of the fence. I was shocked the first time I experienced this stigma about being single, as being married so young and for many years, I didn’t even know it existed.

It was actually a venue manager, which I will keep anonymous… a few years back when I first started my business.  He became upset when he discovered the other manager and I had arranged to have a single mingle wine tasting event in his restaurant.

He said, “ I don’t want a bunch of SINGLES, in this place, it lowers our standards and cheapens our classy restaurant. We are a family place”

Now outraged I asked him: “Really… SINGLES cheapens your restaurants (?)

Are you aware we have many 9/11 widows in our group? Do they cheapen your place too?

AND for your information, all of us HAVE FAMILIES…some have children, others have sisters, brothers, or maybe elderly parents we take care of. What gives you the right to think we are less for not having a current spouse?

Then I said, “oh let me guess, you are married”

He said “YES and for 25 years” as if he deserved some kind of metal of honor for this.

I couldn’t help but think; perhaps with a guy this rude, it was his WIFE that actually deserved the Purple Heart badge!

I then said “Well good for you!” Let’s hope nothing in life ever changes that for you, because then you would be one of us!”

How did it all end up?

Well I said OK, I’ll gladly take my business and the singles somewhere else, and let each and everyone of them know why, and since I already advertised YOUR restaurant, I’m sure you won’t mind if I have someone stand outside and tell your customers as they arrive the day of the event not to go here if they are single, to go to place XXX down the road instead.

I then went home and called the home office to this restaurant in FL. And let the owners know of the situation. A received a phone call from the rude manager a day later, “eating crow” as they say, apologizing under his breath, and saying we could have our singles event as planned.

That’s because the owners in Florida were not happy about it, and said we DO want your business, we will talk to him.

But boy it was my first eye opener about how people view you if you don’t have someone in your life.

Bottom line:

Don’t take the “how to get married in 6 months” books and all of their so-called “Rules” to catch a man or woman” to heart and think if you don’t succeed in finding someone you are nobody. And ladies, don’t worry so much about quantifying your relationships by “keeping score” as to who called whom first and about whether or not a man is “that into you”.  That drama may be ok for junior high schoolers…but we’re sensible, adult women with interesting careers, lives and better things to do, right?

Instead…when it comes to matters of the heart, you know best what your needs are.

My advice?

Just love and accept yourself, be pro-active in your personal life when seeking friends, lovers, or partners, follow your heart, but don’t get caught up in the moment and take risks when it comes to intimacy (of course, always practice safer sex)

But most of all just let nature take its course. It’s possible for everyone to find someone one special to them. And yes, that means you too! It will happen …whether it’s one year or 20 years or longer. All of those clichés about plenty of fish in the sea and a lid for every pot is true.

However, you are meant to be alone for the short or even long term (and some people are), then accept it and grow from the experience and enjoy this time anyway.

It’s just that simple.

Most important, learn to love yourself in spite of your current relationship status. Don’t fret or let others define your worth or make you feel that you’re a loser because you don’t “have someone.” Trust me the grass isn’t always greener on the other side..and no one has ever died from being unpartnered… but plenty have lost their lives in domestic violence from being in an unhealthy relationship!

Better to be “alone” than be stuck in a relationship that is dangerous to your body, mind, emotions, soul and spirit…for that is the ultimate loneliness!

In the meantime, if the single blues do hit you hard, then try attending some of our fun low pressure activity events to get out of the house and make some new friends. Or  check out some books to help you deal with embracing singlehood and aloneness.

If they don’t work, then try counseling or our Life Coach Heidi for strong caring support and advice. Or join our workshops which will begin again September 16th.

Check the CALENDAR of EVENTS for details.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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In real estate, there is a term for how appealing a property is to a given prospect driving by it.  They call it curb appeal.  Some houses the prospect looks at and thinks, ”Boy  would I love to live there!”  Other houses get a response, “Well, I guess I could live there if I had to.”

High curb appeal sells your house.

Low curb appeal has to reduce price tag or spruce up to sell.

In dating, it is just the same.  Dating consultants, call it a person’s romantic market value.

As with all things involving human beings, romantic market value is a rather complex issue.  Physical appearance, fitness, grooming, attire, posture and speech are components of it, so too are less tangible factors involving social status, ascribed status, social skills and presentation skills.  What is important in a dating is that you present to prospective dates the best possible package of attributes that you realistically can.

To accomplish this, you have to start out with a fairly accurate picture of how others are going to perceive you.  This is not something that you can do by yourself.  Very few of us are capable of accurately assessing ourselves (the good or the bad).  and this is not something that your friends can do for you.  According to them, you are fine just the way you are.  They lie.  You need to hear the things they are afraid to tell you as well as the things you really do not want to hear.  You need a knowledgeable professional assessment.  Get such assessment.  When you have it, go through it thoughtfully and correct the things that you can correct.

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE AND INCREASE YOUR ROMANTIC MARKET VALUE

Probably, the deficiencies that you most shy away from correcting, are the ones you really should put your effort into correcting.  Things like losing weight, getting fit, developing outside interests, optimizing your wardrobe, learning to dance, addressing better grooming are things can do for yourself with a small extra effort, time and expense.  Making these self improvements (sprucing up) will make your life better and give you a huge competitive edge in dating. Keeping in mind no pain no gain…that virtually all growth is painful.  Do not expect to accomplish these kinds of transformational changes overnight.  It is too easy to cop out, drop out, give up.  Work with a support group or a professional coach who will keep you focused, encourage your efforts and hold you accountable.  The money that you spend will be a constant spur to keep you from giving up and they will push you to be your best.  You will whine, snivel and complain but you will make progress.  The goal is not to make you into something that you aren’t but to make you the best you that you can be.

Try attending our monthly DATING SUCCESS WORKSHOP’S to get you started!

Click here CLICK HERE for more details on this week’s workshop

AND we have started a new weekly fun exercise event on Wednesday starting in JUNE  ~ WE FIT WEDNESDAYS’

Yoga on the Beach, Belly dancing, Zumba and more!

See our calendar of events http://www.7-in-heaven.com/calendar.html

ABSOLUTELY REJECT THE IDEA THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM

If you let them, frustration and pain from your past relationships will poison your new relationships.  It is easy to get caught up in ideas like “my boyfriend was an asshole” or “I keep running into nothing but certified bitches”.  The truth is, we always have a certain amount of culpability in these scenarios. Assigning blame is an utterly useless concept, whereas understanding what caused our past failures helps us avoid repeating the same insanity.  It may be hard, but avoid thinking that anyone, other than yourself, caused your unhappiness.  Own your own life, the successes and the failures.  You need to take a look at what you did or did not do that invited the outcomes that you experienced.  When you have an answer that you are comfortable with, go back and think some more.   It is the first step to not repeating the same old mistakes.  Work through these things and drain the emotional poison that will effect how dating partners will or will not be drawn to you.

MORE IS NOT BETTER — BETTER IS BETTER

Do not confuse dating a lot with dating successfully.  Dating practice is essential, but innumerable wrong dates are infinitely less valuable that a few right ones. Do not feel that you have to be constantly dating.  Constantly going on unproductive dates wastes your emotional, psychological and physical capital.  Save it for those instances where you feel that you have the most chance for a successful outcome.  When you go out on a date, you are investing your time, money, energy and emotional vulnerability.  Be selective.  In the movie Three to Tango, there is a great line.   The heroine asks the guy, “so have you ever kissed a girl?” and he replies, “Never the right one.”  A certain amount of experience is critical, but beyond that point, it does not matter how many people you have kissed, it only matters when you kiss the right one.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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No, this week’s blog is not about how to date cheap!

But I will post that one soon…

This week we will discuss a very important topic about your future success in dating. I see this on a regular basis with so many singles and I fear they will remain single for a lot longer than they desire. Why?

They are limiting their options with a narrow (or impossible) search criteria.

I like to refer to this as:

Dating with a Champagne taste with a Beer pocketbook”

That’s an old phrase which the definition reads:

Someone who lives above his or her means and likes things they cannot afford has champagne taste on a beer budget.

What do I mean by that?

Your taste / standards in men or women are really beyond your reality.

When we begin a relationship we both “bring something to the table”. Someone might be well off financially and someone may admire the other person’s knowledge in money-making skills, and can learn from their financial wisdom. (OK or maybe they just want to date a RICH GUY!)

Or maybe you are way above average in looks, and this natural born blessing can attract many men

Maybe you are good at cooking and the other person is not, and values that talent….

OR you could be a very careful, decisive person, and you admire some else for their ability to make decisions so accurately yet impulsively.

Yes, there is something to the Yin / Yang theory that opposites attract… But even opposites have an equal balance between them.

Because if they don’t you will find that:

Opposites attract – THEN ATTACK!

Hey let’s be real… YES we all have dreams.

We all have standards.

We all have ideas about how it’s supposed to look or be.

But when we remain trapped in our fantasies, reality suffers.

And nowhere is this more apparent than in the dating scene.

Are you dating with a Champagne taste on a Beer pocketbook?

Are your standards for love too high?

Let’s take a little test here…

Look through 100 profiles on online and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How many did you find attractive?
  2. How many met your criteria: age, height, weight, income, smoking, religion, etc.?
  3. How many wrote interesting profiles that would make you think they’d be compelling conversation on a date?

Now look at the number of people that met the above criteria’s of yours,

How many out of that 100 made the cut?

That is your percentage. If the number of people who met your requirements is less than 5 percent then you need to re-think your wish list.

Yes this may be shocking to discover, but out of 100 people online, you may have found there are only five are even dateable.

So now consider this…out of those five, how many of them do you think will love your family and appreciate your quirks?

How many of them have the same long-term relationship goals as you?

Most importantly, how many of those five will think that you are cute enough to them, thin enough, young enough, rich enough, smart enough, kind enough and interesting enough?

They have choices too.

So what does all this mean?

Are we doomed to a life of solitude and loneliness?

No.

But we might have to adjust our perspective a bit, though.

We need to open up our age range, our height range, our body types, to people we might not have considered otherwise. Until we give others a chance, what hope do we have that they will give us a chance?

This is a perfect example of why I say that meeting in person at single events is SO much better then online dating. So many times we pass on opportunities online, that had we met in person, we would have chosen them to begin with. In real life, if you start talking to someone at a speed dating party who is intriguing, and the next day get their phone number and set up a date. You may not find out until later that he’s a different religion, or political party and by then you already like them!

A perfect example of this is a couple that both in there early 40’s and both had never been married. Both have a long list of “must haves”, including meeting a partner of the same religion.

Well guess what?  They met at party 6 months ago, SHE is Catholic and Republican. HE is Jewish and a Liberal and they have been together ever since.

What this all means is anything is possible if we LIKE someone and broaden our views.

What we think we “must have” merely limits our options.

For example, I know of a male customer that comes to my events, who is 57 and owns a multimillion-dollar business he started when he was in his 20’s . He insists he ONLY wants a woman younger then him, as any woman his age or older will “not be able to keep up with him”.

He never got a college degree, so he wouldn’t cut it in many women’s educational requirements that earn as much as he does.

Too bad for him! I’ve know of a single female who is 63 and still bike rides 30 miles round trip to work, loves to ski and play tennis. She’s amazingly beautiful, youthful and vibrant, intelligent and completely off the radar for most men her age.

It’s a shame, isn’t it?

Actually when you think about it, what it does is reminds us how hard it is to find somebody special. Signing up for online dating, or going to singles events, in hopes of falling in love right away with Mr. Or Ms “Perfect” is pretty much the equivalent of going to Vegas, walking up to the first slot machine you see, throwing in a $1 and win back one million on the first try.

NOW don’t get me wrong…by no means am I suggesting that we shouldn’t have standards or we should not believe there is no such thing as a perfect match; so take the next train wreck that comes in!

No one should ever compromise on his or her morals, values, and spiritual affiliation. With that said, I must say that there are a ton of single men and women out here who has a long lists of MUST HAVES which are totally unrealistic and with little flexibility on their dream man or woman list.

If you insist that you could never date someone who didn’t have an advanced degree, make at least six figures, must be a good-looking rate of 9.5 on a scale of 1-10 (especially when you are a 5 at best, MUST love to ski, and never ever looses his temper or disagrees, OR you must find someone that is  still a virgin with no children to start a family and you are 45, you just might need to get real.

Should that be the case, your standards are not too high they’re just plain foolish.

Is it possible you could be creating your own roadblocks?

This quote says it perfectly:

Rumi: Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Just as Jim Ryan spoke about yesterday at our Valentines Book Mingle for Singles, at the Village Bookshoppe in Rockville Centre, being HAPPY is a choice.

*Here is a Link to Jim’s web site to check that book out “SIMPLE HAPPINESS”…

There are also so many ways we seem to get stuck in a rut and staying unhappy:

For example…maybe you started wearing a permanent ponytail because you’re just too tired to do anything different with your hair in the morning.

Or you find yourself eating a chicken Caesar salad every day for lunch because you can’t think of anything else to make.

Maybe you are sticking it out at a job you despise because looking for a new career seems too overwhelming.

And here’s one we singles can ALL relate to:

Getting down on your dating life (or relationship) because you think that no dates/lousy dates/fighting/not getting your needs met…[insert your scenario here] is the best that you deserve or is just your fate.

Well guess what?

YOU DESERVE LOVE AND HAPPINESS BEYOND MEASURE.

You are NOT fated to be lonely or unfulfilled. And the sooner you get out
of your dating rut, the sooner you can start experiencing the kind of love that is available to you ! Ruts can be broken with just a simple change of your mindset.

Just looking at being single from a different perspective can immediately rejuvenate and re-energize you to take action to do something DIFFERENT… and even small shifts in attitude can cause immediate positive results!

Take a look at your dating life or relationship. Are you stuck in a rut today? Whether you’re facing an emotional, physical, or spiritual block, you CAN get out of it AND experience the satisfaction, love and fulfillment you’ve always wanted.

And getting out and participating at our single events will help!

Today, I’m sharing an INSPIRATION STORY from a real women who experienced life-changing results from a simple shift in attitude.

It is my sincere hope that her email will inspire you to believe that you CAN get out of your dating rut and seize the happiness you truly deserve.

********************************************************************

“Dear Gail,

If you recall- when I first got divorced and contacted you, I was the one that you told to not make every singles event a man mission… to not put all my eggs in one basket, get out there after my divorce, do different activities… learn new things.


SO I took your advice, I used a lot of my new found idle time, and did take some classes, tried new things I was passionate about and I started to feel fulfilled and happier. And just as I really started to get comfortable with my singleness, guess what happened?

I met a guy. I mean I met THE guy.

When I first starting attending your events, I’d been doing online dating for more than a year and a half, with only a few half-hearted coffee dates to show for it. No keepers and some losers, but it was all experience anyway.

I started to attend your events in Nov.2009, and meeting singles in person, attending several different kinds of fun events with my new attitude/ outlook about being single. Whatever happens … happens..

And guess what happened a couple of months ago? I ran into a gentlemen I had met at one of your events. Normally I would not have felt comfortable in chatting with a guy I just met, but because we had met at one of your events already, I felt comfortable.  I really started to see him in a different light, and had a hunch about him, he was someone special. He asked if he could call me and now we have been dating since December now, and have discovered we are made for each other! He totally understands and loves that I’m busy with my own projects, and because both of us know we have the rest of our lives to do all the stuff we want to (no rush). I’ve never been happier – we totally fit together in the easiest of ways. . He is gorgeous (he doesn’t even know it) and 5 times as beautiful on the inside.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for holding these events and your support. That $38 bucks I spent at your last Speed Dating event changed my life so much that words cannot express how grateful I feel.

Thank you!

“M”

**************************************************************

And a very grateful THANK YOU “M” and all those singles out there that take the time to share their stories!

PS – Got a friend that needs some encouragement?
Forward this blog – they’ll thank you for it!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

Dear Gail,
I simply don’t understand men. Why is it that men only seem to be attracted to the pretty “BITCHES” that treat them like crap rather then the women that are real?

There are plenty of cold, calculating, shallow, controlling women who I
don’t believe deserve to be in a loving relationship, yet they are the ones that get the guy!

You say you make being single fun, well… I would LOVE to hear one single person out there tell me that he or she is actually REALLY enjoying their single-hood.

My friends who keep telling me to “get out there and enjoy being single!”  are either  married or in a relationship!

Who are they to tell me to pack my days with fun-filled activities and enjoy being single! They have a “date” every Sat night, they are not alone!

Yes, I am alone.
No, I do not want to be alone. And I am sick and tired of being told that “the guy” will come, that he’s out there somewhere.

Sign me… tired of waiting for my prince charming,
“T”

Dear “tired of waiting for the prince”

As you may already know…..
“A Negative Attitude About Being Single Will Keep You Single…
Only positive thinking will help turn your dating fate”

First of all, positive thinking will help with the root cause of not meeting the right person… which is unhealthy behavior and INSECURITY.

Think about it…. Why would any man be attracted to a woman (or anyone, for that matter) that has a negative attitude and behave in a dramatic needy, whiny, or controlling way?

Let’s break those words down…

“Needy” – They have NEEDS (namely love, acceptance, security) that they desperately want to be met.

“Whiny” – What comes to mind when you think of whining? Babies. Infants whine out of frustration because they don’t yet know how to ask for what they want or need. The same goes for men and women of any age who haven’t learned healthy ways of communicating.

“Controlling” – Why do people become controlling? Because they feel out of control. This feeling of having no handle on their life scares them so much that they delude themselves into thinking that they have the power to MAKE someone love them or FORCE them to behave in a certain way.

I hope to encourage both men and women to take a look at their lives and try fill their hearts up with love for themselves. Focus on creating a new fulfilling life of friends, fun 7 in Heaven Singles activities, and passions for themselves rather than waiting for a man or women to come along and make them whole – the results are absolutely ASTOUNDING.

You will feel happier. You will wake up in the morning, excited about the day to come and the possibilities of love it brings. You’ll get out and enjoy the fabulous life you’ve created, and while your doing that, good available singles will sit up and take notice of you! They will see this confident, irresistible woman strolling down the street with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips and think, “Wow…there’s something about that girl. I’ve got to meet her!”

When you’re confident in yourself, you radiate happiness. The neediness that once scared men off has been replaced with deep contentment.

You cease to focus on CONTROLLING a man and instead put the focus on what you DO have control over… your own life.

The *desperation you once felt (*BELIEVE ME, men can sense desperation from a mile away…) has now been replaced with security – a knowing that you WILL meet someone wonderful to share your life, but in the meantime, you’ll enjoy everything that life has to offer.

I have spent my life married more years total then I have been single, but I have now had 7 years of being single and can tell you that it’s not about “loving” being single or “loving” being married…

It’s about LOVING YOUR LIFE no matter what phase you’re in.

When I am single and not involved with someone, I have learned to love my life just the way it is because I got to spend more time with my friends, I now have my dream job (owning my own business) and enjoyed some pretty cool events, and I got to go on dates with some really interesting, fun guys.

Yes, some men I got involved with were duds. Yes, some dates were disasters. Yes, I even got DUMPED a few times in my day. So why didn’t this take me down for the count? Because I didn’t make these guys my LIFE… I suddenly realized I have a fabulous life of my own, and I was trying to make these guys that were not right …fit in.

Like a square peg in a round hole as they say!

I’m happier today because realize I still have my true blue friends, and even though I don’t make as much money as I use to, I have an even BETTER job then I have ever had before. I can’t tell you how much fulfillment I get from seeing singles make great connections.

I’m sorry that you’re alone. (I’ve been there myself, and it’s not easy.) But we all have choices and we have to remember no one has to suffer through painful, confusing, and dramatic relationships anymore.

Old wounds and insecurities CAN be healed which will open doors to a healthy, loving relationship.

You say that everyone tells you that “the guy will come.” The thing is, “T”, when you hold onto that negative, self-defeating attitude, he’s probably NOT going to come. That’s because you’ve closed yourself off and – whether you’re conscious of it or not – are sending the signal “stay away.” Men are just as afraid of rejection as women are, and they are not going to approach you when you’re giving off such an approachable vibe.

Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results.” You’ve been carrying around that “being single sucks” and “I’ll never meet a man” attitude every day and the result is that you’re alone.

Maybe it’s time to try something different.

My hope for you is that you can open your heart and mind to the possibility that positive thinking does actually work. Hang in there “T”… I hope that you’ll stay in touch and send me an update!

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

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