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Archive for the ‘How to be Single and Happy’ Category

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So I got this note from a single woman which I found interesting … here is her dilemma followed by my response…

 

Hi Gail,

I’m not sure if you address this new group of singles, but I know there are a lot of us out here.

The older women who are raising children- whether they be adopted at a late age or given birth to at a late age or many are raising and have custody of their grandchildren.

We never get to go out and babysitter fees are high and we don’t fit into the activities of younger parents meeting each other and bringing their children to events.

I’m thinking maybe no men want to meet us lol… seriously maybe there really isn’t a place for us in meeting someone. We are doomed to be lonely. 🙂 Maybe that one man in a million who never had children and would like to raise one later in life? Not very probable.

Well I just wanted to bring us to your attention that we would love to join things somehow – there are quite a few of us silently out here- but as I said maybe there are no men interested.
Have a great day

Suzie 

 


Hi Suzie,

New group of singles ? I didn’t realize we were categorizing singles … ?

All singles looking for love… of ALL AGES… have their crosses to bear…

*Women in their mid to late 30’s that want to have children who have not yet found “the one” and are afraid of missing the boat on that one…

*Singles that are handicapped physically or mentally but are high functioning or someone battling (or recovered from) cancer and can not find someone to accept them for who they are inside.

*Folks my age (62) that are dealing with aging parents (like raising kids again but worse) that need their care and don’t have enough time to socialize

*Middle aged single parents that still have their adult children living with them (this many singles find a turn off)

*All the “separated” but living with their spouses in the basement … that are doing that until the kids get to be 21 or 18 … who wants to date someone yet they are still living (technically) with their married partner! But they will insist they must live this way for financial reasons and for the “sake of the kids”

*And of course your situation that you described – Middle aged or older singles living with and  raising or taking care of  younger children for whatever the reason

Yet… I know of singles in everyone one of these above situations that DID find love. Will all of them find love? No perhaps not, but does that mean we go around with the belief that it will never happen ?  I think not!

You can choose to be lonely or not. It is a choice.

The time in my life when I was the most lonely, was when I was married ! Living in a very loveless marriage and trapped with young children. Not having the freedom that comes with being single – to arrange my life the way I wanted without having to ask permission.

You don’t have to go out every weekend or weekday to meet someone. But despite your situation, you must find a way to carve out some time for yourself to enjoy a different side of life… meeting new singles.

Hey.. check out my situation… here I was a successful entrepreneur hosting singles events and I could not find someone that would accept this as OK to date! Men would say .. you do WHAT for a living? and you’re not available to date on the weekends because you are working… I would be like .. Dude.. it’s not like I am dancing on tables here.. I am hosting events for singles which I find rewarding, does it mean I will cheat on you? NO that’s not my style and HEY .. what’s wrong with dating on a THURS or WED ? or SUN night ?

I wasn’t about to give up my new found business just to make someone else happy. This went on for 7 long years! And at age 58 I finally met someone that accepted me and my world as OK .. no problem here!

Love is worth waiting for, and does not come easily… even though we live in a very disposable world. But that does not mean no one finds love? I have proof people do find each other, despite their situations (SEE TESTIMONIALS HERE) 

If you have a strong desire to meet someone then do something about it. You can make this choice. Figure out how … FIRST you must make time to socialize

Pursue all and any avenues – Happy hours, backyard BBQ with new singles girlfriends families, take a class, GO to single events, try online dating.
Create opportunities. Be positive.

And most of all be patient and enjoy your time now. It will happen for you .

Warm Regards,

From Gail Adams
www.7inheavensingles.com
Landline- 631 592 9804

#SpeedDating #Singles #Advice #FindLove #dating #longIsland

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Are You Secretly Judgmental Of Others?

Do you notice that you often secretly judge others?

For example, your sister tells you about a new car she bought and you think, She can’t possibly afford that car on her salary. She’s so irresponsible about money.

A Big Clue That You Don’t Love Yourself

Or your partner leaves his dirty dishes in the sink before heading out to meet his friends and you think, He’s so lazy and sloppy. It drives me bananas.

Throughout the day, every day, you find yourself silently criticizing others.

My co-worker at work has gotten scatter-brained… my neighbor is too nosy… my friend is too self-absorbed with posting selfies on social media…

What does this all mean?

Are you surrounded by people who don’t have their act together?

Is society just falling apart?

Or is this a clue about something way deeper and way more fundamental about YOU?

How Your Relationship With Others Brings Up The Next Biggest Thing You Need To Learn About Yourself

When we judge others or feel our “buttons being pushed” by the things they say and do, we may actually be projecting our feelings onto others.

We are accusing others of the very things we disown or reject about ourselves.

Here’s how it works…

Let’s say you have a fear of rejection that stems from something far back in childhood.

More than likely, you’re unaware of this fear. You haven’t yet acknowledged it. Or you know about it, but reject that it’s an issue.

Your subconscious mind is aware of it, though. And that part of your mind will always seek opportunities to work out this old issue. It will lead you into situations where you can bring that fear into your awareness.

In other words, you will enter into relationships with people who will “trigger” that fear or unacknowledged emotion inside you.

You will attract a relationship where your partner will withdraw, act cold, make plans with his or her friends instead of with you, have a hobby they love that doesn’t (or can’t) involve you, etc.

Instead of causing you to face and accept your fear, their behavior will cause you to be secretly judgmental or critical.

You don’t think, Hmm, I’m feeling afraid that he’s going to abandon me and I’ll be alone again.

Instead you think, He never spends time with me, he’s off having fun instead of fixing these things around the house, he’s wasting money playing golf all day when he should be saving money and spending the day with me.

Another example – let’s say that you consider yourself a neat, tidy and financially conservative person. You keep your home and car clean and you never spend more than you make.

But deep down, you’re really someone who wishes they could forgo responsibility for a while, kick up their feet, and be self-indulgent for a change.

However, you don’t want to admit that to yourself. It’s just not something you accept about yourself, for whatever reason. Maybe in childhood you were rejected for being that way.

Your creative mind will actually draw you into situations where you are around people who seem sloppy, irresponsible and flaky.

And instead of admitting that you’re a little bit like them, you will find yourself secretly complaining about them.

What Do You Need To Accept About Yourself In Order To Love Yourself?

When you don’t, or can’t, acknowledge your feelings or accept something about yourself, it’s a sign that deep down, you don’t love yourself.

And if you don’t love yourself, you’ll never feel completely at peace with yourself and the world around you.

You’ll always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because YOU think you’re less than perfect.

Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you’ll never be able to be fully loved by anyone else, either.

How This One Breakthrough Can Change Your Whole Life

There was a time in my life many years ago when I so badly wanted love and acceptance, but all I did was criticize my (ex) wife and accuse her of being nit-picky and too sensitive.

A Big Clue That You Don’t Love Yourself

I had several other unhappy relationships in my 20s and 30s before I met Katie. I thought women were too critical and too obsessed with talking about feelings. I didn’t fully believe them when they said they loved me or wanted me to be happy.

The truth was, I was out of touch with my own feelings. I wasn’t “sensitive” enough to what my mind and heart wanted and needed. Therefore, I projected those unacknowledged aspects of myself onto others.

I was secretly judgmental.

It wasn’t until I had a major breakthrough in my life where I finally learned how to love myself that all that changed.

I met and fell in love, lost 100 pounds, and exploded my career.

Learning to love yourself in a relationship is seeing that you will create the very situations you need that allow you to experience the parts of yourself you cannot love.

When you do that, you stop seeing the “wrong” in others. You stop being triggered all the time, and you become a less judgmental person.

When you love all of yourself, as if by magic, you will find yourself being completely loved by others.

Peace and Joy this Holiday Season to all

Warmly,

Gail Adams  7 in Heaven Singles Events

www.7inHeaven.com

*Article was originally written by Kate and Gay CLICK HERE to view

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OK so its Valentines Day

For those of us that are single, this little holiday can be a rather challenging day to get through with the constant in your face reminders of our unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic bliss.

Personally I think Valentine ’s day may have started with good intentions as a day to celebrate love, but nowadays it has become another day to guilt people into shopping compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love.

Being single shouldn’t be a reason to feel blue however, and neither should Valentine’s Day. Instead of letting this mostly commercially-fueled holiday drag you down, why not celebrate being single?

VALENTINES DAYInstead of focusing on what you “don’t have” concentrate on what you DO have, celebrate love!

For example maybe you are blessed with a loving family,  a sister/ brother you are close to. Your children who love you or fun faithful friends! Spend time with the family and friends in your life that love you at maybe a coffee shop, book store, anywhere but the restaurants packed with both happy and unhappy couples going through the motions!

Remember, when you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed. Whether you are, or are not, in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person.

We are more than just our relationship status. Don’t forget that.

While you are single you will find it perfect time to take inventory on your actions, thoughts and behaviors that may have made it difficult to have a healthy relationship. No one is perfect and we all have a part in what didn’t work. Learn from it. Take steps to change it. Clear the slate and be ready to be a better partner, IF that’s what you want. – Read more on the Top 10 Reasons Being Singles is not so bad…..

AND if you don’t want to be single, this can actually be an exciting time for you of discovery.  Are you ready to start dating again? Do you know how to start a conversation with a stranger? Do you spend time in places conducive to meeting new single people?

Check out our  DATING WORKSHOP  a  great event to get started with your new journey!  

Coming up on THURSDAY 2/14/19 don’t miss our VALENTINE Wine Lovers Mixer just for Singles ! Visit to Wine u Design in Hicksville where you can make your wine…  Check out all Details HERE

Also …our Social Networking Brunch  a great way  to make new single friends (held every 1st Sunday of the month)

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

631 592 9804
Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

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Will this be your year to find LOVE?

Image

I love New Years Eve, its a time for renewal, clean slate, new beginnings.

But being single, there is so much expectation when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. The pressure on single people is even stronger to make it a big night. As a single person, you want to leave the past year of heartbreak and romantic misfortunes behind, and see all the possibilities of having a successful new year finding love thinking, “this is going to be MY year.”

Secretly, though, many singles dread the thought of standing alone at the stroke of midnight yet again.

When I first became single again after over 20 years of being married, I had great stress and anxiety over finding something to do on New Year’s Eve, so I wouldn’t have to spend it alone. What to do on New Years, or with whom on New Years Eve, was not a problem when I was younger, married, and raising small children.

First New Years Eve party as a single person was awkward. As the clock got closer to midnight and we all grabbed our champagne toast, I thought about how I was going to scooping out the room, and try to engage a conversation with someone cute within the last five seconds left. Just in time to create that magical moment at twelve. But with way too much expectations which lead to disappointments at 12:01 am, I was ready to go home as if I made it through to the finish line. Another new year’s party, next year I will find him.

Looking back now I know that my efforts weren’t about kissing someone at midnight, but about the deep desire to belong and be a part of the couple world again. My mind would trick me to believe that if I kissed someone at midnight that I would somehow be normal and not a big loser without a date or a partner. I exaggerated what New Year’s meant and how others perceived me if I was alone.

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, and just concern about being alone for the holidays can be emotional. The kiss at midnight on New Years, becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety?

All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and be loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this New Year’s Eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter of your life can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience.  The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter who says “its so hard being single and dating, everyone is crazy” or you can listen to the cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random New Year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

 

Join us for our FREE Expo “THE NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR! “

over 30 Vendors –  Beauty, Health, Organizers, Dating and more !

Get solid advice from 12 top experts for making this year BETTER!

1/11/15 – NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR Details

Bring NEW LOVE and Romance New Year ~

Life Coach ~ Speaks on “Boost your self esteem”

Nutritionist ~ on “eat thinner/ healthier”

and more … a total of 12 experts!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

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Testimonial Page – love success stories

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This information is brought to you by Orna!

Hello singles out there!

I want to share 3 important words that have changed my life forever when it came to finding love. Those words are: WomanSad

Nobody is coming.

 
********************************************
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
********************************************

Listen, if you and I were sitting across from each other in a cafe, and we were being totally honest with each other, here’s what I would say to you (because I care enough about you to give you the straight truth with no sugar coating):

“Is it fair to say that you’ve been struggling with relationships for a while now? Sure sometimes it’s been easier than others, but in the end… here you are… still single and waiting for “the one” to show up.”

“You have to take responsibility for what’s in Your Love Imprint™ and change it so that it guides you toward success… automatically. If you don’t change Your Love Imprint™, I guarantee that your unconscious mind is going to keep making you feel attracted to guys that are wrong for you.”

“Nobody is coming to magically fix things. You have to do the same thing you did in your career and take action so you can be successful.”

Ouch… I know. But in our heart of hearts, you know it’s the truth, and I’m the one who cares enough to give it to you straight.

********************************************
DO I TAKE MY OWN ADVICE?
********************************************

Absolutely.

Once I finally stopped trying to figure out what was wrong with all the men out there and started looking at my own love imprint, I was shocked at what I found in there.
couple_happy
I finally realized that NOTHING I did was going to work until my love imprint was straightened out, and that’s when I took action.  

The result? I met my soulmate, got married, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been 🙂

And guess what? It was EASY! It was sooooooooo much easier once my love imprint was actually working to attract a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one.

What about you?

 
Love and Abundance,
Orna

 

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Julio sent to me recently letting me know of this connection that lead to a marriage ! Although I know of hundreds of connections, and marriages made through  7 in Heaven, not everyone takes the time to write to me and let me know how they have met someone fabulous attending my events.

Thank you to all that have done so, as your happiness, is my joy
for allowing me to know this really does work

Please keep those notes coming.

Gail

 

Hi Gail,

I thought it was worthwhile letting you know about a success story from attending one of your events in Oceanside more than 3 years ago. When people ask how we met, we still fondly recall all the details from that night.

Both me and my wife, Heather, were invited as secondary guests through our friends and after a 2.5 year courtship we married last October. Although we only attended one of your events, there was just the right connection and fortunate timing to develop into a life together.

Best wishes to you and a prosperous business.

Julio

 

—————————-

Gail Adams  Owner and Founder 

7 in Heaven Singles Events

 

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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I felt the need to write this latest BLOG because I suddenly became aware of how many singles out there both men and women were so angry! It started on Facebook one day when I innocently posted a picture of some well behaving subdued young guys, in a nice restaurant, in a rather upscale town, just sitting at the bar in the restaurant and watching the game.

I had NO JUDGMENT about them, just found it interesting that since I always hear from the ladies “where are all the guys” here my friend and I, were the only women in the place! So with humor, I posted the picture of the young guys on my FACEBOOK page saying “who says there are no guys on Long Island”

WELL …some 83 posts later…and the two worst offenders blocked… the dust finally settled. Bitter angry words, much judgment about these guys flew back and forth from one angry guy who seemed to hate women .. and one angry woman who was very vengeful about men

This BLOG is for you…..

I have always admired people who have known defeat, known suffering, struggle, loss, yet have found their way out of the depths of their pain without blaming others. These people have an appreciation, and an understanding of life that this too will pass like the storm that moves across the sky.

If you can understand this, you will find it’s sometimes amazing how our greatest joy may have been born from our deepest pain. The highs and lows of love, are part of its reality … part of its nature. Learn how to embrace it, learn to ride it out like the storm.

You must find the strength, and wisdom and faith in knowing that suffering, blaming, staying in the “victim role” will never serve you but keep you stuck in the storm that never passes.

There is a purpose for every person you meet. Instead of viewing and judging these people that have done you wrong, try your best to view people that come in and out of your life, as there for a purpose. Your job is to figure out WHY and WHAT they have taught you.
Some are there to test you, they will use you, and betray you. Some are truly in this life solely for themselves and do not have the skills to think beyond themselves.

Others will teach you, and bring out the best in you and be your genuine friend.

Your quest is figure out if the person in your life is serving you for your best interest.

Different people will teach us different things, but in every lesson, one must always remember that life is too short to hold on to anger and spite.   Instead of choosing to suffer, perhaps that someone that came into your life, came to teach you something.

But if you have someone in your life that is hateful and bitter and always pointing fingers at everyone else, be careful not to let this fool bring you to their level. Remove yourself from the situation, the drama, the vacuum that will suck you dry. If you hang out with these types too long, we start to become the people the energies we hang around with .

Find and seek out the people who are here in your life to teach you, recognize all the gifts and talents that you have. Maybe talents that you had no clue was inside you, develop those relationships.
Don’t waste time becoming angry and trying to control the situation or wishing it turned out different.
 and remember ….sometimes when you don’t get what you want its a wonderful stroke of lucky
Warm Regards,Gail Adams- Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-www.7-in-heaven.com

Personal Matching by Gailwww.HeavenlyMatch.net

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OK so its Valentines Day

Personally I think Valentine ’s day may have started with good intentions as a day to celebrate love, but nowadays it has become another day to guilt people into shopping compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love.

But for those of us that are single, this can be a rather challenging day to get through without the valentines in your face reminders of our unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic bliss with.

Being single shouldn’t be a reason to feel blue however, and neither should Valentine’s Day. Instead of letting this mostly commercially-fueled holiday drag you down, why not celebrate being single?

VALENTINES DAYInstead of focusing on what you “don’t have” concentrate on what you DO have, celebrate love! For example maybe you are blessed with a loving family,  a sister/ brother you are close to. Your children who love you or fun faithful friends! Spend time with the family and friends in your life that love you at maybe a coffee shop, book store, anywhere but the restaurants packed with both happy and unhappy couples going through the motions!

Remember, when you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed. Whether you are, or are not, in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person.

AND if you don’t want to be single, this is a perfect time to reflect on why you are single, and what you can do about it. Are you ready to start dating again? Do you know how to start a conversation with a stranger? Do you spend time in places conducive to meeting new single people?

Come out on Thursday 2/14/13 Valentines Day to our CUPID MINGLE    a fantastic event held inside a mansion in Suffolk County, and it is also a Nature Center the door money ($10 entrance) goes toward the organization A glass of wine and lots of cupcakes and chocolates to sample included

Check out our  DATING WORKSHOP  is a  great places to get started with your new journey!   Next event Wed 2/13 in Huntington @ XO Wine and Chocolate Restaurant The Topic is “FLIRTING 101″

Our Ladies BrunchSunday March 3 (SUFFOLK) and Sunday April 7 (NASSAU)  to make new single friends (held every 1st Sunday of the month)

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

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Will this be your year to find LOVE?

There is so much expectation when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. The pressure on single people is even stronger to make it a big night. As a single person, you want to leave the past year of heartbreak and romantic misfortunes behind, and see all the possibilities of having a successful new year finding love thinking, “this is going to be MY year.”

Secretly, though, they dread the thought of standing alone at the stroke of midnight yet again.

When I first became single again after over 20 years of being married, I had great stress and anxiety over finding something to do on New Year’s Eve so I wouldn’t have to spend it alone. What to do or with whom on New Years Eve was not a problem when I was younger and married, and raising small children.

First New Years Eve party as a single person was awkward. As the clock got closer to midnight and we all grabbed our champagne toast, I thought about  scooping out the room and engaging conversation with someone cute with five seconds left just in time to create that magical moment at twelve. But with way too much expectations which lead to disappointments at 12:01 am, I was ready to go home as if I made it through to the finish line. Another new year’s party, next year I will find him.

Looking back now I know that my efforts weren’t about kissing someone at midnight, but about the deep desire to belong and be a part of the couple world again. My mind would trick me to believe that if I kissed someone at midnight that I would somehow be normal and not a big loser without a date or a partner. I exaggerated what New Year’s meant and how others perceived me if I was alone.

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, and just concern about being alone for the holidays can be emotional. The kiss at midnight on New Years, becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety? All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and be loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this New Year’s Eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter of your life can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience.  The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter who says “its so hard being single and dating, everyone is crazy” or you can listen to the cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random New Year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Join us for a

GRAND Gala New Years Celebration for Singles 12/31/12 CLICK HERE for all details

and for our seminar “THE NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR! ”

for solid advice from 8 top experts for making this year BETTER!

1/3/13 – NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR Details

Bring NEW LOVE and Romance New Year ~

Life Coach ~ Speaks on “Boost your self esteem”

Nutritionist ~ on “eat thinner/ healthier”

Feng Shui – how to arrange your home for better health, happiness and new energy and space to allow a life partner to enter !

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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This morning I was searching and searching for my mouse pad.
Spent a good 20 minutes or so, checking here…then checking there… huh! 
Where could it have disappeared to? I gave up the search, and opened my laptop.
POP there it was, found it!
On my keyboard hiding.
It kind of reminded me of the cliche while dating “You always find something when you’re not looking.”When someone is frustrated with their love life search, people love to tell you… “You always find someone when you’re not looking.”
The idea is that relationships only come along when you’re so frustrated that you stop looking, like the universe is taking pity on you or something. And the “advice,” is then translated to just stop looking for a relationship.
This cliche is better translated to  “When you lose something, it’s always in the last place you look.”  Because really when you think about nothing is ever really “lost” its just in another place!

But getting back to the original “You always find someone when you’re not looking” I’ll admit it does have some truth to it—as you’re more likely to find a relationship when you’re not spending 12 hours a day on match.com—

but it’s not because you’ve stopped looking.

The people who seem most attractive are those who seem happy, well-adjusted, confident, and, most important—busy. When someone seems like they have a full and exciting life, other people want to be part of it.
Desperate is never pretty.
As one man once said to me… I can smell desperate from a mile away.

When you “stop looking” (which we will translate as “stop looking desperate”), you’re sending these kinds of signals.  Your life seems so cool and interesting that you’re not going to drop everything to look for a boyfriend, and that’s precisely why guys are going to want to be yours.

So the trick isn’t to stop looking; it’s to make it seem as though you’re not looking   But instead to project a persona that seems too awesome to settle for just anyone, and to market your life as something that everyone should want.

This means not skipping the gym for a date with a guy you met casually at Star Bucks the other day

It means not showing up for singles events and have a bored or mad look on your face because prince charming didn’t ride in that night
or making statements like ” I’m giving up! There is no one one out there “ As if this will attract someone to you right away since you have now stopped looking! 
It means building a life that’s totally fun and fulfilling without the partner, but when a partner does comes along, it means making sure he knows you will be a happy person with or without him.

PS of course you can come on out and have fun while you wait for “the one” at our events with
7 in Heaven, so much to do, something for everyone

See you there!

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804



Personal Matchmaking Services
by  
Gailwww.HeavenlyMatch.net

Singles, events today for singles, SPEED DATING, Speed-dating, current events for singles, Where to meet singles, How to meet singles, single women, single guys, singles long island, Single events on long island, single parties, where to meet long island singles, best speed dating on long island, Nassau county events for singles, Suffolk county events for singles, Queens Single Events, Best place to meet singles on long island, Long island events for singles, Activities for singles, Dance parties for singles, sports for singles, Single Dinner parties, Single Gourmet, Personal Matchmaking, Matchmaker, Long Island Matchmaker, Personal Matchmaking Services, Professional Matchmaker, Introduction services, Dating services. Best Dating services, where to find a matchmaker, personal dating services

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So up to this point, there has not been too much

competition in the personal MATCHMAKING services for Long Island

Well that has all changed now…

Heavenly MATCH  is here on Long Island for Matchmaking  services

How many singles are here on Long Island?

Long Island is made up of a very diverse group of people.  As of the 2010, Long Island had a population of 7,568,304 making it the most populated island in any U.S. state or territory! AND in the entire USA 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older were SINGLE! So if we do our math correctly… about 333,000 residents of Long Island SINGLE.

Now you might think its easy to find someone with all these singles living in one spot right? Well think again; one person described it to me this way… Imagine you are at a big mall with thousands of people there at one time, how many of those people do you think you would get to meet personally and how many would you actually want to date?

Why would someone hire a matchmaker?

Personal matchmaking takes the tiresome legwork out of dating by outsourcing ‘the search’ for interesting, like-minded individuals that have YOUR same desires at heart. My prior years of experience and background as a head-hunting / corporate recruiter, makes me a sharp judge of character in a mate making me your Perfect Personal Liaison for LOVE!

And our sister company 7 in Heaven Singles Events is a perfect combination for networking and meeting long island singles.

We currently have over 5000 Long Island Singles as members!

What kind of individuals become exclusive clients of matchmakers?Generally most clients are upscale professionals age 28 to 40+ and looking to settle down and start a life with someone for the first time. Other clients are in their 40′s and 50′s and up, established in life, perhaps already have been married prior, and seeking to fulfill their goals of finding the right life partner for the rest of their lives.

Learn more about this new Matchmaking Service by clicking HERE

Check out our GREAT Articles on Dating Advice, Stories and Support on this blog!

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How many times have I heard someone say…

“I don’t know how I am going to get thru this”

or

“OMG…I hate being single why did things have to turn out this way?”

We forget that “CHANGE” is inevitable and the only thing that is consistent in life.

Everything does come to an end or change.

Jobs change, children grow, neighbors move, and yes… relationships end.

So how do we deal with it? 

Your significant other walks in the room one day and says…

I don’t love you anymore, or its not working out… at first hearing these words trigger emotions that make you feel like someone just put a knife to your gut. The pain is deep, and you may feel like your whole world just ended. The person you were so close to is now becoming someone you USE to know.

But after the tears and the heart wrenching emotions, you slowly start to realize your life is NOT over. And maybe eventually start to realize that letting someone else have that much power over our lives is crazy! Isn’t it our choice to get up each morning and make our day?

The first step in healing and dealing is taking the power back. YOU are in charge of your life, and the master of your destiny. And the only person to trust is your higher source! Once you embrace the fact that you do have control of your destiny doors will open for you.

YES there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Take time to get to know you, this is a new opportunity to relish your spirit and soul – reinvent yourself so that when the NEXT person steps into your life you will have a full tank of love to give back!

Time is your friend. Be patient and wise with it.

GO OUT to meet new single people, try new things!

(CHECK out this month’s calendar of events)

And don’t be afraid to go alone, open your mind and your heart to allow new experiences to happen.  You may think the relationship was the worst thing to happen to you, but if you give yourself enough time and remain open… it could be the BEST THING that ever happen to you!

All things are not always clear when they first happen. Finish the journey then when you look back, you may find yourself saying one day

What was I thinking?

There is a lesson in every relationship so try to figure out and understand what you can learn from this experience. Prepare yourself for the next phase of your life. Try to move on without regrets and hatred – this will only keep you at a standstill.

Let go and be thankful you have time to keep on living and making your dreams a reality.

 

Warm Regards,

 

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

 

in-Heaven SinglesEvents | http://www.7-in-heaven.com/contact.html
7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-www.7-in-heaven.com   631- 592-9804

 Personal Matching by Gailwww.HeavenlyMatch.net

 

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

 

  Summer events for singles, SPEED DATING, Speed-dating, Where to meet singles, How to meet singles, single women, single guys, singles long island, Single events on long island, single parties, where to meet long island singles, best speed dating on long island, Nassau county events for singles, Suffolk county events for singles, Queens Single Events, Best place to meet singles on long island, Long island events for singles, Activities for singles, Dance parties for singles, sports for singles, Single Dinner parties, Single Gourmet, Personal Matchmaking, Matchmaker, Long Island Matchmaker, Personal Matchmaking Services, Professional Matchmaker, Introduction services, Dating services

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I received a call the other day from someone who was thinking of registering for a SPEED DATING event of ours. The woman went on to explain her boyfriend of 6yrs just “left her” and to use her words… was devastated and lost, as she stated she really loved him. She claims she doesn’t even know exactly WHY the breakup happened and doesn’t think she will ever meet anyone again. She can’t seem to get the whole thing out of her mind; so because her friends insisted she should get out, she was calling me to go to the SPEED DATING event.

I told her:

OF COURSE YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE AGAIN!

But are you sure you are ready to do an event like Speed Dating yet?

If you can’t get this off your mind, you may talk about it a bit too much, and if you did, it would not be to your advantage to tell every man you meet at the event what you just told me! How much you loved this man and how brokenhearted you are. Not attractive…

I agree with your friends you need to get out of the house and do something, but I encourage you to be honest with everyone you meet and explain you are joining us tonight to simply make some new friends at this point and leave it at that.


The first and most critical step is to allow yourself time to heal after a breakup or separation.

DON’T isolate yourself, get out and socialize, but don’t look for an immediate replacement!

Instead try just going out just for the fun of … going out!

This is why I host all kinds of events for every stage of this process.

Some are not actually ready at this time to step out and go on a real “DATE”.  So for those I suggest a Speed Dating event, which is really a great way to “practice” dating again for those that have not dated in quite some time. Or for some, a simple mixer such as a single mingle or activity (Bowling, Mini Golf etc.) event is a great way to ‘get your feet wet’.

Or for women- our Ladies Brunch Social (next event Sun Jan 5th) simply to just make some new single girlfriends! For some ladies all they may need at this point, is to get back out there and simply make some new single girlfriends, whom you have more in common with.
The first 6 months to a year after a death of a spouse, divorce, or breakup of a long term relationship, are hard enough; so don’t make it worse by sitting home alone and sulking. Force yourself to rise from your sorrow if you have to. Get out there and spend time around caring newly single people like yourself now more than ever.

But date slowly during this process.

What I mean by that is try not to get too emotionally involved so not to repeat the same bad relationship you just got out of!

Take this example: “Debbie” just got divorced. Her husband always expressed anger by yelling. This made her feel out of control. Debbie now swears that she will never again marry a man who yells.

“Within 2 years, Debbie meets and marries Joe.

Now Joe… never gets angry.

Problem solved – right?

No.

Joe gets angry like everyone else, but when he’s angry, he becomes silent. Debbie finds that this silence treatment, brings about the same anxiety/stress that her first husband’s yelling did. .

Has she made a bad choice with Joe?

No, but she has to deal with those feelings of being out of control when Joe gives her the silent treatment instead of yelling. The situation forces her to deal with those feelings all over again. If she blames Joe for her unhappiness, instead of discovering herself, she is destined to divorce again.

To fully rise from the pain of a breakup, the final stage of healing is so simple yet most people miss it:

Forgive yourself, and forgive your ex.

Forgive yourself for all the things you could have done.

Forgive your ex for everything you wish he/she could have done.

Make the decision to move on and leave the past behind, no matter what it is or how “wronged” you felt you were.

That is the final step in healing and emerging from a divorce or breakup.

Here is a great quote from Sara Paddison:

Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologizes or changes.

Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you.

Love them and release them.

Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me.

–Sara Paddison

And when you reach this important level of healing you can truly be open again to be with someone else.


All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Energy flows where attention goes

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want? 

Are you giving your attention to what you have 

or to what you don’t have? 

Are you focusing on abundance or lack? 

Energy flows where attention goes! 

SO many times I struggle to listen on the phone to the negative energy and beliefs of the singles out there that feel there is no one. YET they sign up for an event, say I will try, only to give up after only one event attended! Boy am I glad Thomas Edison or the Wright Brothers didn’t think this way!  We all have the power to change our love lives no matter if you are STUCK  in a bad relationship or OUT and can’t find one. It all starts with Gratitude. If we can pay attention to what IS WORKING  in our lives, pay attention to those that DO LOVE US ,  we will suddenly start to see the way out.

I once read in a book by Deepak Chopra – “I bought a Volkswagen, and before I bought a Volkswagen, I hardly ever saw one on the road. Now that I own one, it has become what I pay attention to.  EVERYWHERE I see Volkswagons! Where before I never noticed them”

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want?

Every here someone say I am a Man Jerk Magnet! They seem to be attracted to me! Or for guys… I seem to attract all the crazy women out there.

Ask yourself …. am I paying too much attention to what I DON’T want?

Another one that drives me crazy… There are no good men out there… where are all the men? or from the guys… Are there any NORMAL  women out there? I can’t find a good women

Are you focusing on abundance or lack?

My answer to that is HECK YES there are 1000’s of Great Guys and Gal especially living on Long Island are you kidding me? We are a short distance from NYC with millions and there are millions living right here on Long Island!  Trust me, there is no lack of singles  bt if this is what you have decided to focus on I guess your right. No one out there in the vast millions of singles

So start small with your changes- but do make the adjustments and start with BELIEVING it is possible.

Gail Adams- Event CoordinatorPersonal Matchmaking Services

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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”J” wrote in:

Though I don’t think I had an interest in anyone at the event last night, and I had fun and met some nice people, – it felt sad, kind of down on myself that no one had an interest in me.   I usually meet people easily just in the everyday world and then I go to an event and feel rotten about myself  – yeah, ugly, old, and out of sorts…….

I think it just feels more natural when it is an event that one likes but not specifically geared towards “hey I’m single, I’m here and are you interested?”   I maybe might try it one more time, but not in a comfort level when I’m at an event that labels me as “single”.  Now tell me… is this stupid or what?

———————————————————————————————————-

Dear “J”

Thank you for allowing me to understand what is going on with your emotions regarding being single.
As an intuitive person, and my life experience interviewing people, I can get a good (not GREAT… just good) idea of what might be going on behind the scenes

1. First this  type of event- an activity mixer event, is not structured the same as a REGULAR SPEED DATING event, where the focus of the whole evening is on the “score sheet” which… by the way, I never call it.

I refer to it as a Secret Ballot.

That’s because the whole concept of “rating” comes to mind with the word “Score” and that is really not what its about.
Just like yourself, you are attracted to some but not everyone.

We are all the same. Some will be attracted to you, but maybe you will not be attracted to them. OR maybe you are attracted but the other is not attracted to you.

A MATCH is when the 2 lucky people agree… they are both attracted to each other.
We should do our best, to try to understand this is not personal!!

It is… what it is…… ONE person’s opinion and not attracted to us, BUT so many others ARE attracted to us!

2. About being single… I don’t remember if you told me what your situation was… but my guess is that you (like myself) were married or in a very long committed relationship and now are single.
People that have been single all their lives understand stand this world so much better!     I had a bit of a learning curve myself, since I had met my husband at 19, married at 22 and then single again at 45.
Girl let me tell you, I still a work in progress!
Some suggested reading for you on being single TURN YOUR CAB LIGHT ON…
above is a link to a used copy CHEAP at Half.com
Maybe I like this author because she is ALSO a recruiter turned dating adviser just like ME!    I like the no-nonsense advise she gives.

3. I think just like all of us, you need to consider what to work on first … and I think it’s about being more comfortable being single… being “labeled” as SINGLE, and realizing its not that bad.
It’s a state of being. If you have had a few rotten relationships in your life, you know there is nothing easy about dealing with a rotten relationship! Being single has it challenges too, but it’s never as lonely being single and alone then being in a rotten relationship AND being alone!!!

Its interesting that you wrote you don’t want to be labeled as single, when in fact so many PAY to go to event just so they can be with those that are like themselves … SINGLE. I mean who wants to be hanging around couples on a night out. For example let’s take New Years eve, when the whole thing is so focused on being a couple that night! If I spent the night with a bunch of people that were not single… then that’s when I would feel most awkward. Especially since now that I have been single for coming up to 8 years. (I was married 22 yrs)

I would rather spend my time with others making new single friends, that in fact, will give me the opportunity to meet someone I will have a future with and maybe BE a couple again.
Am I making any sense here or what?
Please do write me your thoughts on this subject comments below or …

So what’s so BAD about being single? (polls)

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

PS – Got a friend that needs some encouragement?
Forward this blog – they’ll thank you for it!

 

on your search for the one we make being single fun

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com


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OK so its Valentines Day

Personally I think Valentine ’s day may have started with good intentions as a day to celebrate love, but nowadays it has become another day to guilt people into shopping compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love.

But for those of us that are single, this can be a rather challenging day to get through without the valentines in your face reminders of our unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic bliss with.

Being single shouldn’t be a reason to feel blue however, and neither should Valentine’s Day. Instead of letting this mostly commercially-fueled holiday drag you down, why not celebrate being single?

Instead of focusing on what you “don’t have” concentrate on what you DO have, celebrate love! For example maybe you are blessed with a loving family,  a sister/ brother you are close to. Your children who love you or fun faithful friends! Spend time with the family and friends in your life that love you at maybe a coffee shop, book store, anywhere but the restaurants packed with both happy and unhappy couples going through the motions!

Remember, when you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed. Whether you are, or are not, in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person.

AND if you don’t want to be single, this is a perfect time to reflect on why you are single, and what you can do about it. Are you ready to start dating again? Do you know how to start a conversation with a stranger? Do you spend time in places conducive to meeting new single people?

Where to go on VALENTINES day for Singles

Tuesday Feb 14th 2012SINGLES, if this Valentine’s Day…Isn’t going your way… Come on out and meet someone in non – restaurant/bar venue for FREE! 7 in Heaven is having a special FREE SINGLES Valentines night out – at the beautiful  Dakota Design Center in Merrick

More like a open house party, this open mingle will be providing FREE Coffee/ Tea and goodies to all. (additional drinks available) Mingle with Singles from 7:30pm- 9:30pm make some new single friends or maybe a love connection! DATE MATCH CARDS to help make connections. *Not a SPEED DATING EVENT

We LOVE our singles and this special FREE event is for you!

This will be a non-structured open mingle for ALL ages, so take a chance- you have nothing to lose and see if Cupid is on target tonight!

PS: last FREE Valentines event held in Rockville Centre Book Store we had 72 singles attend!

 

SATURDAY 2/11/12 Pre-VDAY Wine Lovers Dinner Party

WINEuDESIGNHicksville ~ Suggested Ages 30 & up
Doors open at 7:00, join us for a fabulous wine tasting party hosted by a At 8pm the Chief Winemaker sommeliers will give us on a demonstration of the equipment used at the winery used to make each individual private barrel of wine we sample.
$30.00 (pre-paid) /
$35 CASH at doorincludes
LOTS of free wine samples
, wine making demo, DJ Dance Music, Raffle prizes with icebreaker game,  
Appetizers
– Vegetables, Cheeses, meats, olives, bread
Dinner
– Chicken, Meatballs and Pasta dish
Desserts
– Fruit & Cakes and CHOCOLATES. Coffee & soft drinks available too.
Several Give-away PRIZES !
Complimentary BEER, or unlimited Soda for non-wine drinkers.
*Not a speed Dating event-

$5 bring a friend! $25.00CLICK HERE to apply (*Bring a friend discount on PRE-PAID only)

Contact – 7-IN-HEAVEN SPEED DATING & SINGLES EVENTS
631 592 9804       Email: INFO@7-IN-HEAVEN.COM
WEB Site- www.7-in-heaven.com

 

 

ALSO… try these events…

Our Ladies Brunch – to make new single friends (held every 1st Sunday of the month)  FEB 5th in Nassau at RJ Daniels in Rockville Centre  and March 11th in East Islip BEECHTREE

and our Dating Workshops– Held every 3rd Thursday of the month at the Marriott in Plainview Feb 17th topic – Flirting 101

are great places to get started with your new journey!

 

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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Below is the original post along with some new ADDITIONAL food for thought about how it effects you at SPEED DATING EVENTS

I frequently am asked by the newly single especially the females, “will I feel comfortable going out to one of your events alone? ”

From my own personal experiences, of being a divorced woman re-entering the dating circle, I have always tried to help provide both men and woman attending a 7 in Heaven Speed Dating or activity event, a comfortable and welcoming format for singles to attend alone.

Women in particular feel the most uncomfortable attending alone. I encourage women to attend alone, as this is the best way to make new friends, both male and female. When you are busy socializing with your buddy, you don’t socialize with as many singles. If you alert me when you arrive that you have come alone, I am always glad to introduce you to those that have already arrived. Once a Speed Dating event begins, you will be so busy you won’t even have time to notice you are alone!

The reason I feel so strongly about this comes from one Friday night, a few months after my divorce, and long before I started this singles organization, I found myself wanting to get dressed up and go out on a Friday night, but all of my girlfriends were busy.

I was frustrated; I didn’t want to spend my limited time off without kids watching a movie at home alone.  But what was my alternative?  Go to a bar by myself?

No way!

Then I thought to myself, well single guys do it all the time, why shouldn’t I?

Hmmm…

Visions of me sitting alone and awkwardly at a bar sprung to my imagination.  I envisioned people looking over at me – judging me:  is she Desperate?   Skank?  Alcoholic?  Depressed?  Overwrought with self-consciousness, and not knowing what to do with myself, I’d probably play with my cell phone…

Suddenly – oh phew!  Someone comes over to talk to me!  And yup – it figures.  He’s drunk, homely and overly-convinced I need his company.

Then with all these scenarios running through my mind, I thought how why is it, that at my age, after all the growing and changing since divorcing, I STILLED lack the confidence to TRY doing this alone! Where did my new found confidence go? Why am I still limiting myself??? I don’t have to explain myself to anyone! Truly, no one’s holding me back but me now.

People don’t seem to think anything less of men who are eating alone in a restaurant or at the bar lounge area alone, so I’m not sure why there seems to be a different set of rules for women. It’s kinda shocking to me that we have this double standard! I was one of those people that stereotyped and thought,  “Oh, I would feel so self conscious as a women to go out in public, to a restaurant, in a bar, anywhere by myself.” Then I actually started to ask men and women what they thought of people that went out alone… I thought they would say the person dining alone was “probably out alone because they don’t have any friends”, or “they must have got stood up that’s why they are alone and out”, and yes, a few people did said that, but then just as often, I would get someone that would say “oh, she just wanted to have some time to herself to think ” or  “Her friends were busy that night and she just went out on her own” or “he wanted time to himself, he had a stressful long day and he just wanted to sit there and think.”

Instead, I discovered there were a lot of people that thought: “oh, I wish that were me, to have the guts to go out alone“, and especially the ones who are there with their kids were are dumping food on the ground and splattering things and making noise. They are looking at you sitting there in peace and thinking, “oh, I wish that were me“. Many admired but did not think they could ever have the nerve to go out alone. They look at you and think, “wow, that is wonderful that she can do that.”

Consider this…being single is not a very good idea especially if you will not enjoy your own company. Loneliness and fear of being alone has pushed people to stay in unhealthy relationships. They tolerate wrong company just because they fear public criticism.

And it is the thirst of our co-dependence and not allowing ourselves to be alone, is what actually limits us from making new friends. We quickly jump into new romantic relationship simply because our self-perception is about what society thinks of us being alone.

We should not hesitate to go out alone.

Being single and learning how to go out alone, improves your mental well being to greater heights. To go out alone comfortably, you need to put the stereotypes at the back of your mind. It does not mean that you are a loner, desperado or a loser. You are a liberated single person. It may look or sometimes feel awkward but prepare to go out and have fun just like you would have done if you had company.

Today as you read this article I want you to know that you can be single and fabulous.

True happiness comes from within. Happiness from external sources is gratifying for a little period of time. You should enjoy being with you because much as you might want to deny it, you will be spending most of your life with you. Being single does not necessarily mean that you can’t have fun with yourself!

Improve yourself by being comfortable with yourself at all costs.

Can you go alone to a bar or restaurant?

When I was going through my divorce, I too was wondering where I can go to have fun that doesn’t involve a bar every time ’cause that scene can get old real fast.

When I created 7 in heaven singles events, I particularly wanted to make sure, I would hold my events in Restaurants (not pubs) and also provide alternative places to meet that was not Alcohol focused, so it won’t feel like a bar singles scene.

Keep in mind that being single can be fabulous, and do your best to ignore the fact that you are going out alone.

Once you arrive at a singles event alone, walk in with confidence. Do not feel intimidated in any way. I will help by doing my best, to introduce you to others that have come alone. But I need also need your help here, so try to relax and just enjoy the environment. Do not make a mistake of trying to occupy yourself with other activities like playing video games or reading novels and magazines while you are waiting for the event to begin. It makes you look like you are not open to conversations.

You will be amazed at how many more great people you will meet by going alone, than you would have otherwise met if you were busy chatting it up with a friend. People feel intimidated by groups.

Everyone at the events share the same goal as yours, they desire to be in a fulfilling relationship. But try not to make the emphasis of entire evening of going out alone, on if you meet a man that night. Maybe it should be more about just having some fun, beyond sitting at home, and just make a new friend or two.

Making the very first attempt at going out alone is very healthy.

If a person is interested in you they will feel more comfortable to approach you when you are alone. Have you ever wondered why people go out and meet the lovers of their dreams? It is because they make themselves approachable. If you are entertaining a lousy group of girls just because you do not want to come to the event alone, you might remain single forever. These characters you brought along with you, could very well be your stumbling block to for your love and happiness.

By the way… I did finally did make that first move to go out for the night alone as all my friends that Friday night, as my friends had other plans. I really wanted to see the band that was playing that night down at the Beach Hut, an outdoor Bar/Restaurant on the water near my house. So I told myself “You’re a grown woman, what is the worst that can happen, you show up have a glass of wine, order the Lobster Special, and if it’s not fun you can always leave and go home, don’t be scared!”.

I ended up having a really good time. I even asked a guy to dance w/ me…twice. He was a great dancer! I must say people do feel sorry for you when you are alone. I had several people approach me to ask me if I was alone and ask me to sit w/ them. The ladies at the table next to me asked me to take their picture then I asked them to watch my table when I went to the ladies room and before you know it I was sitting w/ them and had a fabulous time.

Bottom line….Don’t be scared, own it!

 

PART II – why going ALONE to a SPEED DATING event improves your chances too!

It has come to my attention that when several or 2 women attend an event together- the men shy away from “checking them as a YES” on their sheets for Speed Dating. Why? because  guys worry about getting caught up with the Friends thing… if they pick BOTH friends.. then the friends either talk to each other and “decide” who gets him .. OR they both feel a bit slighted because THEY were not specialy selected so they both give him the cold shoulder … GUYS know this ladies!

So.. they go for the lady that came by herself instead.

Go out alone. It is such a great experience.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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It’s that time of year… and singles that are dealing with a recent death or breakup / separation the transition of making these life changing experiences can be especially challenging during the Holiday season.

No one wants to be alone. Best simple suggestion to help you feel a little better during this adjustment period  try volunteering your time or donating to help those less fortunate.

There are countless charities around that would need your help and would love for you to offer your time or donation.

Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home will help remind you how fortunate you really are despite your current situation.

Check it out and find charitable activities that will stimulate and amuses you.

Visit  Long Island Volunteer Center  pick an organization that you feel most passionate about! Get involved make new friends

Not everyone will be single, but it will make you feel good, and you may just make some new single friends!

*ALL THIS MONTH!

Donate, time, money or an item.. receive a $5 off coupon from 7 in Heaven for an event!

Donation boxes and collections  at every event this month

7 in Heaven’s Charity picks for this month:

CLEANING ANGELS   by Theresa Family Cleaning  

*Cleans houses for free for those undergoing cancer treatments $65 cleans one house but any amount donation is appreciated

Needs donations in any amount

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HOPE for Youth  (Foster Care assistance)

* Helps Foster children and their families with housing, guidance and support. Goal is to keep them on the right path!

Needs  donations and or – organizations/ businesses that can donate services such as – accounting, youth athletic programs (karate, dance etc..) Printer business for flyers, Taxi services anything that might help! call and ask…..

OR – new toys for older teens- EXAMPLES- Gift Cards for Movies, Mall shopping, Best Buys, Itunes…used or new WEE Games or other electronic games.

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Homeless VETERANS of Northport

*Donations of toiletries such as toothpaste, flip/flops for showers, soap, shampoo are being collected at Events this month for 7 in Heaven. Try the dollar store! can get all these items for $1 each!

Bring any of these items to an event – Receive a $5 off coupon at the event for your donation.

* Visit the web site above to see how you can volunteer your time with activities they have for the vets there,

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Another suggestion is:
Long Island Food Not Bombs

Which is an amazing organization that helps share FREE food to Long Islanders in need.

You can donate food, or items you don’t want and it will go to those that need it!

This community organization shares free groceries, clothing, books, toys, etc… with anyone that can use it.

The people that come to LIFNB don’t just get some food, they share and give a good portion of what a person may need for a whole week.

That means on most days folks can leave with 3 or 4 large bags of fresh organic groceries, (breads, fruits, veggies, protein, juice etc.)

Long Island Food Not Bombs shares every week at these locations:
*Click on the town for more details
Every Sunday @ 2pm in Hempstead
Every Monday @ 5:30pm in Coram
Every Tuesday @ 6:30pm in Huntington
Every Thursday @ 7pm in Farmingville
Every Saturday @ 3pm in BedStuyAnd don’t forget….people need help all year round.

Our jammed packed calendar this month of DECEMBER with fun activities and new places to visit, means there is no reason to be alone this holiday season! come on out and make some new friends!

You can check the Calendar online for more details about this weeks events and other fun stuff on the calendar coming up.

DON’T MISS our Big GALA NEW YEARS PARTY!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

about this fabulous NEW YEARS EVE PARTY 2011!

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


Visit the web site to check out our fun events

http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously


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Do you Hate to date?

Have you ever said this out loud or to yourself?

Well at our last interactive Workshop held Oct 20, 2011 – Topic – the laws of attractions ~ how to attract the right one, just saying or even THINKING this way put up road blocks to successfully finding the right person!

How is that?

Well our mentor EUGENIA KARAHALIAS explained:

What you think about ~ you bring about! FEELINGS then attached to your thoughts then fuel it. Let is go…any negative beliefs you may have, work everyday toward being Grateful for what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. Say YES to life and LIFE says YES to you!

So…how can we figure out what we need to change so we can bring about all this good stuff Eugenia is talking about? Lets start with figuring out what kind of DATER you are! Then we can work on possible solutions…

Which DATER are YOU?

1. Procrastinator I’ll start dating next month, next year, when I lose weight, when I fix myself, when my kids grow up, and so on.

2. Worrier I’m afraid of rejection. Online dating is dangerous. If I go to an event I won’t know anyone, I am afraid of someone raping, kidnapping, or killing me.

 

3. Skeptic There is no use in trying. There is no one out there for me. I will never meet anyone. Women are all Bitches. Men suck. Most of the guys are not worth my time.

4. Beginner I don’t know the first thing about dating, and I am not ready to put myself out there.

The above questions came from : Berndt, Debra (2010). Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner (p. 178). Wiley. Kindle Edition.

Once you can identify which one you are…it will be easier for you to work towards improving your success with dating.

Procrastinators – well you may have this problem in other areas of your life and as you may have already figured out, life will pass you right by if you don’t make a decision to get to it right now!

Worriers need to try to break it down a bit. Learning to let go more, understand we can’t control all outcomes but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Many times we hear only the negatives and believe that this makes up the majority of the dating pool …NOT SO! Just like you.. there are millions of honest, loving singles out there..and less BAD GUYS then you think looking and searching as you read this right now.

Skeptic ah yes.. Guilty of this one myself, you must work hard everyday to be grateful, what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. This will keep the “boomerang” effect of the universes laws of attraction coming back to bite you in the ____

Beginners– This one is easy! Come on out to our events and see for yourself you have nothing to loose. Remember how scary it was learning to drive? And how thrilling it was to pass that drivers test? ( I was going to use the learning to ride a bicycle.. but for some of us that was a VERY long time ago) Anyway, when you attend your first event this will be the feeling you should walk away with. I DID IT! Wow, that wasn’t so hard after all in fact I HAD FUN!

So I hope to see you at an event soon … ALL of you Procrastinators, Worriers, Skeptics, and Beginners!

Check the online Calendar of Events

And just come on out, you’ll never know unless you GO!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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“I went to one event of yours and I didn’t met anyone I wanted to date”

My response – You went to ONE event and you didn’t meet anyone?

Ladies and Gentlemen– it rarely happens in ONE event, but it DOES happen one day ! And hopefully when that time arrives we have enough time to enjoy each other.

People ask me all the time…What is your success rate?

I quickly respond- “I have no success rate, I am not a matchmaker”

My job is to create fun events, bring people together and let the universe do the rest. Rarely am I kept in the loop, as to who connected with who, unless the couple is kind enough to share their story.

*This below true story hopefully will bring new faith and inspiration to you all while searching

Steve G. was a single gentleman that attended my events. He first started coming to my events back in 2008 when I first got started. Steve was patient in his search, and many times left the event knowing that maybe he made a few new friends, but not a match made in heaven.

Well, about a year ago- Steve G met Diane at one of my events. I thought Diane had made a good connection with another gentleman whom we will call “SAM” that evening, not necessarily Steve. Diane and Steve had “picked” each other for a match however.

Well about 4 months later, I called Steve one night, and asked:

Hey Steve where you’ve been? Have any plans tonight? Would you like to join us?”

Steve’s voice became sad and low, he said “Gail, I just found out this week I have Leukemia.” I was stunned and said. Oh Steve, I am so sorry to hear that. We discussed it a little more, and then I said goodbye and wished him the best in his recovery.

I went about my busy life and occasionally a thought came to mind – wondering how Steve was making out.

This past weekend, I held a Speed-Dating event and received a last minute call from Diane. She asked if she could join us, as she just needed to get out for the night. I said OK, and then Diane went on to explain she had been Dating STEVE G for the past year since they met at my Speed-Dating event.

I said REALLY? (remembering how I thought the connection was with “SAM”)

Diane went on to explain yes, Steve was not the first one she went out on a date with from that night, but the second. Steve called her, and picked her up and when he arrived, she noticed his charming cute half smile and said to herself, “Hey I think this date will be fun!”

3 months later, Steve suddenly surprised her with a fantastic weekend for them. At the end of the weekend, Diane, not knowing said “OK what’s this talk about? You breaking up with me now that you and I have had this fantastic weekend together” ?

Steve said, “Kinda; it might be best. I just found out I have Leukemia”

Diane said “You’re not getting rid of me!”

They spent this past year together having a BLAST. Diane accompanied Steve EVERYWHERE, they traveled saw old friends – Steve and Diane fell in love.

Steve and Diane dated right up until Steve’s battle with Leukemia ended May 2nd 2011

Steve had never been married, no children and had finally found someone special he so much enjoyed.

Steve did not attend one of my events but many of my events. And he did find someone, sadly and unbeknownst to him, the last year of his life.

Maybe Steve had become more open about the small stuff when choosing mates. When you know your time is limited, everything seems to really take a back seat.

Or maybe it really did take this much time to meet someone special.

Who knows.

It sure makes me think, how much time is wasted and how petty we can all be when it comes to dating.

And gives new meaning to the saying “Carpe’ Diem

Latin for : Seize the day or Live Life to the Fullest

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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