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So I got this note from a single woman which I found interesting … here is her dilemma followed by my response…

 

Hi Gail,

I’m not sure if you address this new group of singles, but I know there are a lot of us out here.

The older women who are raising children- whether they be adopted at a late age or given birth to at a late age or many are raising and have custody of their grandchildren.

We never get to go out and babysitter fees are high and we don’t fit into the activities of younger parents meeting each other and bringing their children to events.

I’m thinking maybe no men want to meet us lol… seriously maybe there really isn’t a place for us in meeting someone. We are doomed to be lonely. 🙂 Maybe that one man in a million who never had children and would like to raise one later in life? Not very probable.

Well I just wanted to bring us to your attention that we would love to join things somehow – there are quite a few of us silently out here- but as I said maybe there are no men interested.
Have a great day

Suzie 

 


Hi Suzie,

New group of singles ? I didn’t realize we were categorizing singles … ?

All singles looking for love… of ALL AGES… have their crosses to bear…

*Women in their mid to late 30’s that want to have children who have not yet found “the one” and are afraid of missing the boat on that one…

*Singles that are handicapped physically or mentally but are high functioning or someone battling (or recovered from) cancer and can not find someone to accept them for who they are inside.

*Folks my age (62) that are dealing with aging parents (like raising kids again but worse) that need their care and don’t have enough time to socialize

*Middle aged single parents that still have their adult children living with them (this many singles find a turn off)

*All the “separated” but living with their spouses in the basement … that are doing that until the kids get to be 21 or 18 … who wants to date someone yet they are still living (technically) with their married partner! But they will insist they must live this way for financial reasons and for the “sake of the kids”

*And of course your situation that you described – Middle aged or older singles living with and  raising or taking care of  younger children for whatever the reason

Yet… I know of singles in everyone one of these above situations that DID find love. Will all of them find love? No perhaps not, but does that mean we go around with the belief that it will never happen ?  I think not!

You can choose to be lonely or not. It is a choice.

The time in my life when I was the most lonely, was when I was married ! Living in a very loveless marriage and trapped with young children. Not having the freedom that comes with being single – to arrange my life the way I wanted without having to ask permission.

You don’t have to go out every weekend or weekday to meet someone. But despite your situation, you must find a way to carve out some time for yourself to enjoy a different side of life… meeting new singles.

Hey.. check out my situation… here I was a successful entrepreneur hosting singles events and I could not find someone that would accept this as OK to date! Men would say .. you do WHAT for a living? and you’re not available to date on the weekends because you are working… I would be like .. Dude.. it’s not like I am dancing on tables here.. I am hosting events for singles which I find rewarding, does it mean I will cheat on you? NO that’s not my style and HEY .. what’s wrong with dating on a THURS or WED ? or SUN night ?

I wasn’t about to give up my new found business just to make someone else happy. This went on for 7 long years! And at age 58 I finally met someone that accepted me and my world as OK .. no problem here!

Love is worth waiting for, and does not come easily… even though we live in a very disposable world. But that does not mean no one finds love? I have proof people do find each other, despite their situations (SEE TESTIMONIALS HERE) 

If you have a strong desire to meet someone then do something about it. You can make this choice. Figure out how … FIRST you must make time to socialize

Pursue all and any avenues – Happy hours, backyard BBQ with new singles girlfriends families, take a class, GO to single events, try online dating.
Create opportunities. Be positive.

And most of all be patient and enjoy your time now. It will happen for you .

Warm Regards,

From Gail Adams
www.7inheavensingles.com
Landline- 631 592 9804

#SpeedDating #Singles #Advice #FindLove #dating #longIsland

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THE NEW RULES OF ATTRACTION

by NINA MALKIN

When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that anyone would be a fool not to follow them. Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: if you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, you decide to cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. In short, many rules people choose to follow need a little revamping. To that end, we’ve consulted authorities in the field to bring you the most up-to-date strategies for finding someone you’ll click with romantically.

ImageOld rule: You can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone in three seconds.

New rule: You can’t tell if you’re truly attracted to someone until you’ve had three dates.

“Love at first sight” is a familiar romantic notion. And in our increasingly fast-paced world, it’s convenient to think you can tell whether you click with someone that quickly. But experts recommend cultivating a bit more patience by sticking to a three-date minimum to know for sure whether you’re a match (or not). The reason? People are a bundle of nerves on date #1, begin to unwind on date #2, but only by date #3 can someone truly relax and maybe build some rapport with another person. And while sparks early on are nice and all, they say nothing about someone’s long-term partnering potential. “An important part of a compatible relationship is ensuring that each partner’s values coincide — and to learn that takes time, discussion, observation, and interpersonal interaction, not an initial impression based on superficial cues,” says James C. Piers, Ph.D., professor and program director of social work at Hope College in Holland, MI. So, don’t write someone off (or fall head over heels) until you’ve done your due diligence.

Old rule: Your mate must meet all the criteria on your “must-have list.”

New ruleImage: A “must-have list” looks great on paper, but it won’t keep you warm at night.

You can check off the attributes you want — appearance, background, education, career, salary, etc. — but unless you’re building your partner in a lab, you’re almost certainly missing out. Of course, you should have standards and not settle for a two-packs-a-day smoker who doesn’t want kids when you’re allergic to cigarette smoke and eager to start a family… but settling for nothing less than perfection is unrealistic. “Wish lists are a classic recipe for unsuccessful dating,” says relationship coach Hu Fleming, Ph.D. “They’re too limiting and don’t allow for chemistry, which is more intangible and valuable.” Try to be flexible, especially when it comes to physical or material attributes like someone’s height, salary, or hair color. After all, just because someone’s 6’2”, blonde, or makes six figures doesn’t mean he or she will make you happy, so do yourself a favor and treat your wish list describing your ideal mate as just one factor in deciding who’s right for you.

ImageOld rule: Opposites attract.

New rule: Opposites attract and they attack! 

Dating your diametric opposite might mean feeling the surprise of relating to someone really new and different than your usual type, trading lots of challenging banter, and sharing scintillating chemistry — but sustaining a partnership with this person may ultimately prove to be unfulfilling. “The classic couple with nothing in common except their on-fire fights plays well in the movies, but in real life, that attraction fizzles quickly,” says Alyssa Wodtke, coauthor of Truth, Lies, and Online Dating: Secrets to Finding Romance on the Internet. “If you don’t like to do the same things, there will be nothing for you to do outside of the home. And if you don’t want the same things for the future, what kind of future can you have?” We’re not saying that you should end up with someone identical to yourself, but ideally, it should be someone who complements your personality (see the next rule for more details).

Old rule: Your date’s taste in music (or movies, or books) mirrors yours — so you must be soul mates.

ImageNew rule: You want to fall in love with a person, not a playlist.

Sometimes you meet someone and have so much in common, you just know it must be love. After all, each of you has seen Phish perform at least a dozen times and know the works of David Sedaris inside and out. But don’t confuse having mirror-image tastes with romantic chemistry. In fact, it’s probably better if your interests don’t match up exactly. Not only does that leave room for you to expand your boundaries and dabble in pursuits that your partner digs, it also means you two will probably have little trouble maintaining some healthy independence. “Some of the best relationships are those where both parties have completely independent hobbies and allow for the concept of ‘his, her and our’ time,” notes Dr. Fleming. So, take it as a good sign if you spend the occasional Saturday night apart — with you doing dips at ballroom dancing class and your date doing the wave at an NBA game, for example.

Old rule: Your first kiss should be a toe-curling experience.

New rule: Your first kiss is ultimately inconsequential.

In fairy tales, an amazing first kiss leads to happily ever after — no wonder we place such importance on that primary pucker! But there are ample reasons Imagewhy a first kiss from a potentially great partner can go awry (like nervousness or a less-than-ideal setting) — and just as many to explain why a first kiss from Mr./Ms. Wrong can feel so right (you’ve just been dumped and are looking for validation, perhaps?). “A kiss can be a romantic, erotic experience with someone you find physically attractive, but a relationship will crumble without more complex attributes, like shared values,” points out Dr. Piers. So rather than write someone off following a less-than-mindblowing kiss, smile and move in slowly for smooch number two — either at that moment or on a subsequent date. Trust us, you owe it to yourselves.

Old rule: When it’s true love, you think about the other person constantly.

ImageNew rule: When it’s true love, thinking about the other person makes you feel good.

Hmm, has Willie Nelson’s cover of “Always on My Mind” become the theme song for how you feel about your sweetie? That may not be for the best. “Constantly thinking about another person isn’t love, it’s infatuation, and infatuation has no correlation with being a good match,” says Dr. Fleming. Ultimately, it’s a better gauge to assess the quality of your thoughts rather than the quantity. “If you have warm and comfortable feelings when you think about your date, that indicates a relationship built on stability, trust and a strong ‘friendship’ factor, denoting a relationship that will more likely wear well over time,” says Dr. Piers. If, on the other hand, your relationship keeps you up all night as you analyze this person’s emails for hidden messages that reveal his or her true feelings, you may be chasing down someone who doesn’t really want to be yours.

Article written by : Nina Malkin

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why does this relationship appears to be only about SEX !

How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply enlighten you of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he will be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair!

Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell (or beg you) it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day shows up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty?

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel. THAT works both ways for MEN and WOMEN

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust firs t. You are worth it !

But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl Just think of  all the drama I am saving you from  those crazy stalking women that will follow you, if you go too far too soon, and then you decide you want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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About 65% of the singles that attend my events are divorced. The other 35% are made up of widows and those singles-never married.  Almost all have been in long lengthily relationships or marriages, and suddenly find themselves single. Becoming suddenly single again after a long time is like taking up residency in a foreign country and not speaking the language very well.  So what are the rules in this country anyway?

Now anyone that knows me, I am not a big fan of a bunch of rules I’m a rebel at heart. But one must know the rules first in order to break them!

Now there are no hard, fast rules when it comes to dating. Although if you read the dating book called  “the RULES” these gals will tell you there are some rules women must never break! I read the book and found 70% to be ridiculous and 30% I had to begrudgingly agree with.

So what information do you need most to get out there and start over?  Well for starters do a good assessment of yourself to see if you dealt with all the emotional baggage and feel truly ready to date. If you have forgiven yourself and your past and moved on; you will probably do fine. (You might want to read- * Adjusting, letting go, forgiving after a breakup)

Here are some basics to keep in mind when you start dating again:

1. Be true to yourself first.
Now that you are newly single, try to bring balance to your life. You may be eager to date but don’t forget to make time for yourself as well as spend time with friends and family. Date if you feel ready but don’t make it your whole life.

2. Form new relationships with other single people.
If you don’t already have single friend, then find some. Go to single events with the mindset that if I don’t meet the woman or man of my dreams, finding a new single friend will be very helpful. For single ladies, I hold a monthly singles ladies brunch just for this reason to make new single friends. Your married friends are great, but they can’t always relate to your single status and can’t join you on single adventures. A single woman can never have enough single girlfriends for support and to pal around with. Check our Calendar of Events for the next single ladies brunch by you.

3. One date does not form a relationship.
It’s important to know that everyone you date will not be interested in a second date. Just because you were interested in a second date doesn’t mean they have to be. Don’t let the fact that you don’t get called to go out again, make you want to give up or cause you to think negatively about yourself. Move on to the next person and be willing to go through a process of elimination, which could take some time. Don’t take going out on dates too seriously, that you project your thoughts way to far into the future.

4. Don’t come on too strong.
If you were in a long term marriage then you are used to being part of a couple. Divorce means lots of changing and growing for an individual. Bad habits, new place to live, new friends may all be a part of your new life as a newly single individual. Don’t let the couple habit cause you to come on too strong and chase someone special away. You are dating, not stalking so be careful not to overwhelm.

5. Don’t forget to respect yourself.
Go slowly when it comes to sharing information about yourself with a date. It will convey a sense of self – respect and create mystery. So, keep the details to a minimum until you know they are worthy of hearing them. Leave the details of your divorce at home. It’s a date, not a therapy session.

6. The world is your test tube.
Approach the dating game with an attitude of openness and experimentation. It is possible that every date you go on, could lead you to Mr./Ms. Right but… keep an open mind and your feet planted firmly on the ground and you will at least learn something new on every date you go on.

7. Try something new.
Don’t box yourself in with the idea that you have a “type” that you are attracted to. Change those old thought process, step outside your head and broaden your horizons. You may find that what you thought would make you gag, actually makes you happy. Read- * Dating with a Champagne taste with a Beer pocket

8. Never underestimate the power of flirting.
Nothing is more fun than flirting and nothing helps you connect to another person quicker than being playful. Be charming and delightful, show some vitality. Keep it light and festive, not deep and serious. Keep your mind in the moment and not on the long term goal of falling in love. Read- * Flirting is the ultimate welcome

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Will this be your year to find LOVE?

There is so much expectation when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. The pressure on single people is even stronger to make it a big night. As a single person, you want to leave the past year of heartbreak and romantic misfortunes behind, and see all the possibilities of having a successful new year finding love thinking, “this is going to be MY year.”

Secretly, though, they dread the thought of standing alone at the stroke of midnight yet again.

When I first became single again after over 20 years of being married, I had great stress and anxiety over finding something to do on New Year’s Eve so I wouldn’t have to spend it alone. What to do or with whom on New Years Eve was not a problem when I was younger and married, and raising small children.

First New Years Eve party as a single person was awkward. As the clock got closer to midnight and we all grabbed our champagne toast, I thought about  scooping out the room and engaging conversation with someone cute with five seconds left just in time to create that magical moment at twelve. But with way too much expectations which lead to disappointments at 12:01 am, I was ready to go home as if I made it through to the finish line. Another new year’s party, next year I will find him.

Looking back now I know that my efforts weren’t about kissing someone at midnight, but about the deep desire to belong and be a part of the couple world again. My mind would trick me to believe that if I kissed someone at midnight that I would somehow be normal and not a big loser without a date or a partner. I exaggerated what New Year’s meant and how others perceived me if I was alone.

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, and just concern about being alone for the holidays can be emotional. The kiss at midnight on New Years, becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety? All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and be loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this New Year’s Eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter of your life can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience.  The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter who says “its so hard being single and dating, everyone is crazy” or you can listen to the cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random New Year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Join us for a

GRAND Gala New Years Celebration for Singles 12/31/12 CLICK HERE for all details

and for our seminar “THE NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR! ”

for solid advice from 8 top experts for making this year BETTER!

1/3/13 – NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR Details

Bring NEW LOVE and Romance New Year ~

Life Coach ~ Speaks on “Boost your self esteem”

Nutritionist ~ on “eat thinner/ healthier”

Feng Shui – how to arrange your home for better health, happiness and new energy and space to allow a life partner to enter !

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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So up to this point, there has not been too much

competition in the personal MATCHMAKING services for Long Island

Well that has all changed now…

Heavenly MATCH  is here on Long Island for Matchmaking  services

How many singles are here on Long Island?

Long Island is made up of a very diverse group of people.  As of the 2010, Long Island had a population of 7,568,304 making it the most populated island in any U.S. state or territory! AND in the entire USA 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older were SINGLE! So if we do our math correctly… about 333,000 residents of Long Island SINGLE.

Now you might think its easy to find someone with all these singles living in one spot right? Well think again; one person described it to me this way… Imagine you are at a big mall with thousands of people there at one time, how many of those people do you think you would get to meet personally and how many would you actually want to date?

Why would someone hire a matchmaker?

Personal matchmaking takes the tiresome legwork out of dating by outsourcing ‘the search’ for interesting, like-minded individuals that have YOUR same desires at heart. My prior years of experience and background as a head-hunting / corporate recruiter, makes me a sharp judge of character in a mate making me your Perfect Personal Liaison for LOVE!

And our sister company 7 in Heaven Singles Events is a perfect combination for networking and meeting long island singles.

We currently have over 5000 Long Island Singles as members!

What kind of individuals become exclusive clients of matchmakers?Generally most clients are upscale professionals age 28 to 40+ and looking to settle down and start a life with someone for the first time. Other clients are in their 40′s and 50′s and up, established in life, perhaps already have been married prior, and seeking to fulfill their goals of finding the right life partner for the rest of their lives.

Learn more about this new Matchmaking Service by clicking HERE

Check out our GREAT Articles on Dating Advice, Stories and Support on this blog!

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Energy flows where attention goes

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want? 

Are you giving your attention to what you have 

or to what you don’t have? 

Are you focusing on abundance or lack? 

Energy flows where attention goes! 

SO many times I struggle to listen on the phone to the negative energy and beliefs of the singles out there that feel there is no one. YET they sign up for an event, say I will try, only to give up after only one event attended! Boy am I glad Thomas Edison or the Wright Brothers didn’t think this way!  We all have the power to change our love lives no matter if you are STUCK  in a bad relationship or OUT and can’t find one. It all starts with Gratitude. If we can pay attention to what IS WORKING  in our lives, pay attention to those that DO LOVE US ,  we will suddenly start to see the way out.

I once read in a book by Deepak Chopra – “I bought a Volkswagen, and before I bought a Volkswagen, I hardly ever saw one on the road. Now that I own one, it has become what I pay attention to.  EVERYWHERE I see Volkswagons! Where before I never noticed them”

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want?

Every here someone say I am a Man Jerk Magnet! They seem to be attracted to me! Or for guys… I seem to attract all the crazy women out there.

Ask yourself …. am I paying too much attention to what I DON’T want?

Another one that drives me crazy… There are no good men out there… where are all the men? or from the guys… Are there any NORMAL  women out there? I can’t find a good women

Are you focusing on abundance or lack?

My answer to that is HECK YES there are 1000’s of Great Guys and Gal especially living on Long Island are you kidding me? We are a short distance from NYC with millions and there are millions living right here on Long Island!  Trust me, there is no lack of singles  bt if this is what you have decided to focus on I guess your right. No one out there in the vast millions of singles

So start small with your changes- but do make the adjustments and start with BELIEVING it is possible.

Gail Adams- Event CoordinatorPersonal Matchmaking Services

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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You got to know when to hold’em, know when to fold’em,
Know when to walk away, know when to run.

Dear 7 in Heaven ,

I attended SPEED DATING and noticed that two girls left before the end of the event.

I had noticed the one girl when we met for drinks and appetizers just before the speed dating, and I was looking forward to talking with her.

So I was disappointed when she and her friend left midway through the event.

I was wondering if you could, theoretically, shoot her an e-mail and say that there was a guy at the speed dating event that was looking forward to talking with her, and that he’d like to get in touch if she’s interested and you could give her my contact info if she asked, and you can tell her who I was among the guys.

I figure worst case scenario, she’d say she couldn’t care less…

Also.. I didn’t get any “DATE matches” only a few “FRIEND matches” how should I approach (or not approach) these kind of matches?

I appreciate your help and understanding, as well as your advice on this. I know this is not really part of your speed dating service and that other organizers would just wash their hands of any contact with clients outside of answering queries and attending events, so for what is worth, I really appreciate your efforts to help your clients.

Best,

X -Speed Dater

7 in Heaven wrote back…..

OK .. Mr. X- Speed-Dater,


I am first going to give you my opinion about that girl…
Based on first hand experience as :
1. being a woman
2. a dating organizer
3. running these events (hundreds of events) for 4 years

Forget that girl
YES I agree with you – She was NOT the one that wanted to bail it was her Friend- who believed she was better then everyone in the room and convinced her to leave
YES that girl seemed to be taking it all in stride.
But .. chasing after a woman that you did not even had a formal conversation with, will not get you points with a young attractive woman.

It will get you a smile and HER ego boost.
Its not worth the risk.
You have to know when to give it as try and when to walk away.
Walk away on that one. – SHE left.

If she was even slightly interested in anyone she would have contacted me

On the FRIENDS thing..
Again – speaking as a WOMAN..
I can tell you especially young women who have many many choices…
Young women don’t always dive in head first telling you they want a DATE MATCH
Friends is a maybe..
YES.. its a higher risk of being a dead end if you pursue

BUT – if done correctly – it can turn around in your favor

(so this one IS worth the risk in my opinion)
My suggestion on FRIENDS matches is to NOT call direct.
To flirt a little- text or send an email test the waters
Suggest meeting up as FRIENDS for a happy hour Friday night after work
Maybe suggest a bike ride in the park together to “hang out”
Get my drift??
FRIENDS hanging out..
THEN if you go slowly … and don’t look too eager… she may OR MAY NOT … change her mind and start to get more interested.
Either way you either make a new friend OR maybe build into something
the saying is.. best to start off as friends.

Use it

Good luck

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com


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OK so its Valentines Day

Personally I think Valentine ’s day may have started with good intentions as a day to celebrate love, but nowadays it has become another day to guilt people into shopping compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love.

But for those of us that are single, this can be a rather challenging day to get through without the valentines in your face reminders of our unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic bliss with.

Being single shouldn’t be a reason to feel blue however, and neither should Valentine’s Day. Instead of letting this mostly commercially-fueled holiday drag you down, why not celebrate being single?

Instead of focusing on what you “don’t have” concentrate on what you DO have, celebrate love! For example maybe you are blessed with a loving family,  a sister/ brother you are close to. Your children who love you or fun faithful friends! Spend time with the family and friends in your life that love you at maybe a coffee shop, book store, anywhere but the restaurants packed with both happy and unhappy couples going through the motions!

Remember, when you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed. Whether you are, or are not, in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person.

AND if you don’t want to be single, this is a perfect time to reflect on why you are single, and what you can do about it. Are you ready to start dating again? Do you know how to start a conversation with a stranger? Do you spend time in places conducive to meeting new single people?

Where to go on VALENTINES day for Singles

Tuesday Feb 14th 2012SINGLES, if this Valentine’s Day…Isn’t going your way… Come on out and meet someone in non – restaurant/bar venue for FREE! 7 in Heaven is having a special FREE SINGLES Valentines night out – at the beautiful  Dakota Design Center in Merrick

More like a open house party, this open mingle will be providing FREE Coffee/ Tea and goodies to all. (additional drinks available) Mingle with Singles from 7:30pm- 9:30pm make some new single friends or maybe a love connection! DATE MATCH CARDS to help make connections. *Not a SPEED DATING EVENT

We LOVE our singles and this special FREE event is for you!

This will be a non-structured open mingle for ALL ages, so take a chance- you have nothing to lose and see if Cupid is on target tonight!

PS: last FREE Valentines event held in Rockville Centre Book Store we had 72 singles attend!

 

SATURDAY 2/11/12 Pre-VDAY Wine Lovers Dinner Party

WINEuDESIGNHicksville ~ Suggested Ages 30 & up
Doors open at 7:00, join us for a fabulous wine tasting party hosted by a At 8pm the Chief Winemaker sommeliers will give us on a demonstration of the equipment used at the winery used to make each individual private barrel of wine we sample.
$30.00 (pre-paid) /
$35 CASH at doorincludes
LOTS of free wine samples
, wine making demo, DJ Dance Music, Raffle prizes with icebreaker game,  
Appetizers
– Vegetables, Cheeses, meats, olives, bread
Dinner
– Chicken, Meatballs and Pasta dish
Desserts
– Fruit & Cakes and CHOCOLATES. Coffee & soft drinks available too.
Several Give-away PRIZES !
Complimentary BEER, or unlimited Soda for non-wine drinkers.
*Not a speed Dating event-

$5 bring a friend! $25.00CLICK HERE to apply (*Bring a friend discount on PRE-PAID only)

Contact – 7-IN-HEAVEN SPEED DATING & SINGLES EVENTS
631 592 9804       Email: INFO@7-IN-HEAVEN.COM
WEB Site- www.7-in-heaven.com

 

 

ALSO… try these events…

Our Ladies Brunch – to make new single friends (held every 1st Sunday of the month)  FEB 5th in Nassau at RJ Daniels in Rockville Centre  and March 11th in East Islip BEECHTREE

and our Dating Workshops– Held every 3rd Thursday of the month at the Marriott in Plainview Feb 17th topic – Flirting 101

are great places to get started with your new journey!

 

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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Below is the original post along with some new ADDITIONAL food for thought about how it effects you at SPEED DATING EVENTS

I frequently am asked by the newly single especially the females, “will I feel comfortable going out to one of your events alone? ”

From my own personal experiences, of being a divorced woman re-entering the dating circle, I have always tried to help provide both men and woman attending a 7 in Heaven Speed Dating or activity event, a comfortable and welcoming format for singles to attend alone.

Women in particular feel the most uncomfortable attending alone. I encourage women to attend alone, as this is the best way to make new friends, both male and female. When you are busy socializing with your buddy, you don’t socialize with as many singles. If you alert me when you arrive that you have come alone, I am always glad to introduce you to those that have already arrived. Once a Speed Dating event begins, you will be so busy you won’t even have time to notice you are alone!

The reason I feel so strongly about this comes from one Friday night, a few months after my divorce, and long before I started this singles organization, I found myself wanting to get dressed up and go out on a Friday night, but all of my girlfriends were busy.

I was frustrated; I didn’t want to spend my limited time off without kids watching a movie at home alone.  But what was my alternative?  Go to a bar by myself?

No way!

Then I thought to myself, well single guys do it all the time, why shouldn’t I?

Hmmm…

Visions of me sitting alone and awkwardly at a bar sprung to my imagination.  I envisioned people looking over at me – judging me:  is she Desperate?   Skank?  Alcoholic?  Depressed?  Overwrought with self-consciousness, and not knowing what to do with myself, I’d probably play with my cell phone…

Suddenly – oh phew!  Someone comes over to talk to me!  And yup – it figures.  He’s drunk, homely and overly-convinced I need his company.

Then with all these scenarios running through my mind, I thought how why is it, that at my age, after all the growing and changing since divorcing, I STILLED lack the confidence to TRY doing this alone! Where did my new found confidence go? Why am I still limiting myself??? I don’t have to explain myself to anyone! Truly, no one’s holding me back but me now.

People don’t seem to think anything less of men who are eating alone in a restaurant or at the bar lounge area alone, so I’m not sure why there seems to be a different set of rules for women. It’s kinda shocking to me that we have this double standard! I was one of those people that stereotyped and thought,  “Oh, I would feel so self conscious as a women to go out in public, to a restaurant, in a bar, anywhere by myself.” Then I actually started to ask men and women what they thought of people that went out alone… I thought they would say the person dining alone was “probably out alone because they don’t have any friends”, or “they must have got stood up that’s why they are alone and out”, and yes, a few people did said that, but then just as often, I would get someone that would say “oh, she just wanted to have some time to herself to think ” or  “Her friends were busy that night and she just went out on her own” or “he wanted time to himself, he had a stressful long day and he just wanted to sit there and think.”

Instead, I discovered there were a lot of people that thought: “oh, I wish that were me, to have the guts to go out alone“, and especially the ones who are there with their kids were are dumping food on the ground and splattering things and making noise. They are looking at you sitting there in peace and thinking, “oh, I wish that were me“. Many admired but did not think they could ever have the nerve to go out alone. They look at you and think, “wow, that is wonderful that she can do that.”

Consider this…being single is not a very good idea especially if you will not enjoy your own company. Loneliness and fear of being alone has pushed people to stay in unhealthy relationships. They tolerate wrong company just because they fear public criticism.

And it is the thirst of our co-dependence and not allowing ourselves to be alone, is what actually limits us from making new friends. We quickly jump into new romantic relationship simply because our self-perception is about what society thinks of us being alone.

We should not hesitate to go out alone.

Being single and learning how to go out alone, improves your mental well being to greater heights. To go out alone comfortably, you need to put the stereotypes at the back of your mind. It does not mean that you are a loner, desperado or a loser. You are a liberated single person. It may look or sometimes feel awkward but prepare to go out and have fun just like you would have done if you had company.

Today as you read this article I want you to know that you can be single and fabulous.

True happiness comes from within. Happiness from external sources is gratifying for a little period of time. You should enjoy being with you because much as you might want to deny it, you will be spending most of your life with you. Being single does not necessarily mean that you can’t have fun with yourself!

Improve yourself by being comfortable with yourself at all costs.

Can you go alone to a bar or restaurant?

When I was going through my divorce, I too was wondering where I can go to have fun that doesn’t involve a bar every time ’cause that scene can get old real fast.

When I created 7 in heaven singles events, I particularly wanted to make sure, I would hold my events in Restaurants (not pubs) and also provide alternative places to meet that was not Alcohol focused, so it won’t feel like a bar singles scene.

Keep in mind that being single can be fabulous, and do your best to ignore the fact that you are going out alone.

Once you arrive at a singles event alone, walk in with confidence. Do not feel intimidated in any way. I will help by doing my best, to introduce you to others that have come alone. But I need also need your help here, so try to relax and just enjoy the environment. Do not make a mistake of trying to occupy yourself with other activities like playing video games or reading novels and magazines while you are waiting for the event to begin. It makes you look like you are not open to conversations.

You will be amazed at how many more great people you will meet by going alone, than you would have otherwise met if you were busy chatting it up with a friend. People feel intimidated by groups.

Everyone at the events share the same goal as yours, they desire to be in a fulfilling relationship. But try not to make the emphasis of entire evening of going out alone, on if you meet a man that night. Maybe it should be more about just having some fun, beyond sitting at home, and just make a new friend or two.

Making the very first attempt at going out alone is very healthy.

If a person is interested in you they will feel more comfortable to approach you when you are alone. Have you ever wondered why people go out and meet the lovers of their dreams? It is because they make themselves approachable. If you are entertaining a lousy group of girls just because you do not want to come to the event alone, you might remain single forever. These characters you brought along with you, could very well be your stumbling block to for your love and happiness.

By the way… I did finally did make that first move to go out for the night alone as all my friends that Friday night, as my friends had other plans. I really wanted to see the band that was playing that night down at the Beach Hut, an outdoor Bar/Restaurant on the water near my house. So I told myself “You’re a grown woman, what is the worst that can happen, you show up have a glass of wine, order the Lobster Special, and if it’s not fun you can always leave and go home, don’t be scared!”.

I ended up having a really good time. I even asked a guy to dance w/ me…twice. He was a great dancer! I must say people do feel sorry for you when you are alone. I had several people approach me to ask me if I was alone and ask me to sit w/ them. The ladies at the table next to me asked me to take their picture then I asked them to watch my table when I went to the ladies room and before you know it I was sitting w/ them and had a fabulous time.

Bottom line….Don’t be scared, own it!

 

PART II – why going ALONE to a SPEED DATING event improves your chances too!

It has come to my attention that when several or 2 women attend an event together- the men shy away from “checking them as a YES” on their sheets for Speed Dating. Why? because  guys worry about getting caught up with the Friends thing… if they pick BOTH friends.. then the friends either talk to each other and “decide” who gets him .. OR they both feel a bit slighted because THEY were not specialy selected so they both give him the cold shoulder … GUYS know this ladies!

So.. they go for the lady that came by herself instead.

Go out alone. It is such a great experience.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Do you Hate to date?

Have you ever said this out loud or to yourself?

Well at our last interactive Workshop held Oct 20, 2011 – Topic – the laws of attractions ~ how to attract the right one, just saying or even THINKING this way put up road blocks to successfully finding the right person!

How is that?

Well our mentor EUGENIA KARAHALIAS explained:

What you think about ~ you bring about! FEELINGS then attached to your thoughts then fuel it. Let is go…any negative beliefs you may have, work everyday toward being Grateful for what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. Say YES to life and LIFE says YES to you!

So…how can we figure out what we need to change so we can bring about all this good stuff Eugenia is talking about? Lets start with figuring out what kind of DATER you are! Then we can work on possible solutions…

Which DATER are YOU?

1. Procrastinator I’ll start dating next month, next year, when I lose weight, when I fix myself, when my kids grow up, and so on.

2. Worrier I’m afraid of rejection. Online dating is dangerous. If I go to an event I won’t know anyone, I am afraid of someone raping, kidnapping, or killing me.

 

3. Skeptic There is no use in trying. There is no one out there for me. I will never meet anyone. Women are all Bitches. Men suck. Most of the guys are not worth my time.

4. Beginner I don’t know the first thing about dating, and I am not ready to put myself out there.

The above questions came from : Berndt, Debra (2010). Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner (p. 178). Wiley. Kindle Edition.

Once you can identify which one you are…it will be easier for you to work towards improving your success with dating.

Procrastinators – well you may have this problem in other areas of your life and as you may have already figured out, life will pass you right by if you don’t make a decision to get to it right now!

Worriers need to try to break it down a bit. Learning to let go more, understand we can’t control all outcomes but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Many times we hear only the negatives and believe that this makes up the majority of the dating pool …NOT SO! Just like you.. there are millions of honest, loving singles out there..and less BAD GUYS then you think looking and searching as you read this right now.

Skeptic ah yes.. Guilty of this one myself, you must work hard everyday to be grateful, what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. This will keep the “boomerang” effect of the universes laws of attraction coming back to bite you in the ____

Beginners– This one is easy! Come on out to our events and see for yourself you have nothing to loose. Remember how scary it was learning to drive? And how thrilling it was to pass that drivers test? ( I was going to use the learning to ride a bicycle.. but for some of us that was a VERY long time ago) Anyway, when you attend your first event this will be the feeling you should walk away with. I DID IT! Wow, that wasn’t so hard after all in fact I HAD FUN!

So I hope to see you at an event soon … ALL of you Procrastinators, Worriers, Skeptics, and Beginners!

Check the online Calendar of Events

And just come on out, you’ll never know unless you GO!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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Who makes the first move?

At our dating workshop 4/7/11 lead by Joe Fallarino of STAR COACHING, we discussed the topic CONFIDENT DATING TECHNIQUES and surprisingly enough, there were more men in attendance then females.

Joe brought and discussed some information supplied by the book “THE RULES”. This book was written by two women with some out of touch and outdated ideas about dating, yet also includes some very real rules still alive for dating.

Joe stated it was OK for a woman to make the first move, and the men in the room all seem to be agreeing with Joe!

I somewhat disagreed, siting that “men were from Mars” and cavemen at heart. MEN are hunters and seekers, love the chase and don’t have respect or pay much attention the the women that chase them.

Joe then polled the room of men and I asked the ladies their opinion.  Joe’s response from the guys was unanimous – all said they LIKED it when a woman made the first move. In fact one went to say it was sexy!

Now, I am kind of old school on this one, so I was surprised to see this reaction.

But I thought sure… guys like it if we make the first move, as they no longer have to worry about rejection! We women are now are put in that position. And another thought ran through my mind… only lazy or shy men will let women make the first move or how desperate a woman might be perceived by making the first move. Oh so complicated it seemed to be!

Then Joe made a simple statement – how about NO RULES?

Yes we need to think about our “moves” and respect each others space. It is somewhat like a game of chess each taking a turn after making a move. It doesn’t matter who makes the first move or the 2nd move, but that we wait after a move to see what the reaction was to make the next move.

Oh I forgot to mention that the men that said it was a turn on if the woman made the first move, also added- ONLY if they were attracted to that women. So, if they were not attracted they would be flattered but wouldn’t make a 2nd move.

Pursuing too hard, too fast will make the other person run no matter who makes the first move!

So go ahead ladies, take some initiative when some man interests you. Maybe by doing that you will stand out from the crowd! I provide both cell numbers (texting) and emails for the soft approach of contacting for the first time.

I got a call the other day to once again back this theory up, from a guy saying he was “impressed” Julie called him after the event to get together! And now he was going to check it out and take her out on a date

But ladies, let me still caution you, don’t make more then ONE move or one attempt on that first move or the table will turn. Best to go by my old rule of  “ no answer is an answer” and move on.

Anyone with some stories or opinions out there?


Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously


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BIG NEWS….
VOTED LONG ISLAND’S BEST DATING SERVICE on LI
 

will be hosting the FIRST  
Long Island Millionaire SPEED DATING Event!

The Date will be in June 2011 and held at a fine Nassau County location. MEN will be verified Millionaires, and women will also be screened and have to be approved to attend this event. Stay Tuned for all details to follow in the next few weeks.
And speaking of the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti has accomplished this fine art quite well. She likes to call it “POWER DATING” instead of Speed Dating, since the candidates are pre-screened.

From PATTI the Millionaire MATCHMAKER..
Tips for SPEED DATING!
Use these words of wisdom to help you rate the speed daters.
Then watch the dates HERE from the Millionaire Matchmaker Show!

1. Don’t be a flaw finder.
Patti Says: “Most people can’t find love because they overanalyze, they’re ultra picky, and they find things wrong in people. We call them flaw finders.”

2. Avoid bringing personal baggage to the table.
Patti Says: “In the beginning, it is best not to bring up any of your deep personal issues; your date is not your therapist.”

3. Be engaging.
Patti Says: “The conversation should become a ping-pong match, with the gentleman serving and the lady responding with information about herself when he asks. Respond to questions with positive energy and enthusiasm, and stay on neutral subjects like the arts and current events. Witty banter is very important. Ask interesting questions, be a good listener as well as an active participant.”

4. Avoid discussion of other romantic relationships.
Patti Says: “Men and women don’t want to hear about their competition. Focus on the date at hand.”

5. Go easy on the booze.
Patti Says: “Although it may be very tempting, in order to relax, drinking more than two alcoholic beverages could cloud your judgment. Stay clear and focused, and never allow yourself to become sloppy or drunk.”

6. If you’re interested, show some interest!
Patti Says: “Don’t play hard to get … Your date likes genuine compliments just as much as you do (maybe even more) so don’t be afraid to tell them that they’re attractive, interesting or funny.”

7. Mind your manners.
Patti Says: “I don’t care who or what you are. If you treat your date like crap, you’re a narcissist, you’re a bragosaurus, you’re out.”

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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This one is for all the ladies out there, that think there are no good guys left. There are plenty of them ladies! Here’s some food for thought on how you might be turning away opportunities by not being open minded.

Dear Gail:

I attended one of your SPEED DATING events and received a date match from that event.

The next day I sent the following email to the date match:

Hi Henrietta,

You and I had a  ‘speed-date’ with 7-in-heaven and since I am not that experienced at this speed dating thing, and have trouble sorting and keeping notes during/after

the ‘date’,  I have just a composite image and details about you. So let’s get together to fill in the details of each of our lives. Maybe we can be friends or…more?

I’ll call you in the next couple of days to work out a convenient time to get together for coffee, tea or light meal and some interesting conversation.

Looking forward to continuing the conversation.

Cordially,

Jake

I called Henrietta a day after that email, she answered and said she is just about to have dinner, she’ll call back and then, it seemed to me, she abruptly hung up!  AND she did not call later.

OK, I thought, let’s try again, you never know what’s going on in another person’s life – I’m trying not to judge.

I called again the next day, left message on cell phone. To date no return call.

Gail, I know men and women communicate in different ways and sometime don’t communicate at all and/or there is much potential for miscommunication, please review the above and give me the benefit of your view on what’s taking place here.

These real life dramas are like a chapter out of your relationship BLOG!

Warmly,

JAKE

————————————————————————————

Dear Jake,

I am a straight shooter! Tell it like it is and based on what you wrote I would like to make this suggestion.

You seem like a low-key, easy going guy JAKE, and would best mesh with someone LIKE you.
Henrietta is a very attractive woman and has a lot of choices as a very pretty woman.
If I had to guess... I would say she was not impressed – that you didn’t EXACTLY know who she was- she may feel she should have STOOD OUT from all the rest, how could you NOT know?

Now, someone more down to earth, practical, would appreciate your honesty and know that they TOO could easily forget some details after meeting a group of people.
This gal, instead of being honest with you, decided to do the age old “blow him off by being unavailable” routine.

You did everything right. It just wasn’t a match, or she is checking out other options available from the event.

No answer is an answer, whether it is from a man or a woman.
Women do tend to be less upfront, as we Venus people… don’t like to hurt feelings so we ladies somehow think no answer is kinder.
BUT MARTIANS prefer a straight up – no thanks answer.

Ah yes, the differences of men and women.

Let this one go, you need to be with someone that is more understanding like yourself.

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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Dear Gail,

I have to ask you this question… a guy once told me that when a bunch of women come to a speed-dating event together as friends (or clique), some of them may already be in relationships and are just coming for support for their friend.

So not all the women are actually available? In addition, I was told that when women “huddle together” after the event, that they will decide who picks who so their is no competition amongst them.

Is this true?

From  “Team player

—————————————————————————————

Dear “Team player”

Some of the points you make are true! And let me start by explaining not all women behave this way….

Yes we women from Venus do congregate much more then the men from Mars.

We go to the bathroom together, feel the need more urgently then the men to go to events together….

But the “huddle” amongst the girlfriends is more about comparing notes, to evaluate and crosscheck referenced information, not so much as to decide, “who gets who”.

Example: “OH… I didn’t know that about him… he told you that?

Trust me MEN do it too…. it’s just that women do it more.

As for women attending events that are already in relationships, I have to say no, that is not the norm. Honest women (or men) that are in relationships won’t attend a singles event as they risk meeting people that they might know! And then will have to explain to their significant other, “hey I know so-and-so told you they saw me there, but really, I was only there for my friend.”

It might be a bit difficult to explain…

I want you to know, I always encourage women to attend alone. They benefit so much more by attending alone.
Read my BLOG article about it!

I hope to enlighten a few women out there, how we must look to the guys when we do the SPEED DATING HUDDLE after the event is over.

Ladies, keep in mind, only YOU will know if that person you meet will be right for you after a few date to get to know one another. You don’t need your girlfriend’s approval, or information she gathered. You need to form your own opinion.

Thanks for attending team player!

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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It’s that time of year… and singles that are dealing with a recent death or breakup / separation the transition of making these life changing experiences can be especially challenging during the Holiday season.

No one wants to be alone. Best simple suggestion to help you feel a little better during this adjustment period  try volunteering your time or donating to help those less fortunate.

There are countless charities around that would need your help and would love for you to offer your time or donation.

Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home will help remind you how fortunate you really are despite your current situation.

Check it out and find charitable activities that will stimulate and amuses you.

Visit  Long Island Volunteer Center  pick an organization that you feel most passionate about! Get involved make new friends

Not everyone will be single, but it will make you feel good, and you may just make some new single friends!

7 in Heaven’s Charity picks for this month:

CLEANING ANGELS   by Theresa Family Cleaning  

*Cleans houses for free for those undergoing cancer treatments $65 cleans one house but any amount donation is appreciated

Needs donations in any amount

——————————————————————-

HOPE for Youth  (Foster Care assistance)

* Helps Foster children and their families with housing, guidance and support. Goal is to keep them on the right path!

Needs  donations and or – organizations/ businesses that can donate services such as – accounting, youth athletic programs (karate, dance etc..) Printer business for flyers, Taxi services anything that might help! call and ask…..

OR – new toys for older teens- EXAMPLES- Gift Cards for Movies, Mall shopping, Best Buys, Itunes…used or new WEE Games or other electronic games.

———————————————————————-

Homeless VETERANS of Northport

*Donations of toiletries such as toothpaste, flip/flops for showers, soap, shampoo are being collected at Events this month for 7 in Heaven. Receive a $5 off coupon at the event for your donation.

* Visit the web site above to see how you can volunteer your time with activities they have for the vets there,

 

Another suggestion is:
Long Island Food Not Bombs

Which is an amazing organization that helps share FREE food to Long Islanders in need.

You can donate food, or items you don’t want and it will go to those that need it!

This community organization shares free groceries, clothing, books, toys, etc… with anyone that can use it.

The people that come to LIFNB don’t just get some food, they share and give a good portion of what a person may need for a whole week.

That means on most days folks can leave with 3 or 4 large bags of fresh organic groceries, (breads, fruits, veggies, protein, juice etc.)

Long Island Food Not Bombs shares every week at these locations:
*Click on the town for more details
Every Sunday @ 2pm in Hempstead
Every Monday @ 5:30pm in Coram
Every Tuesday @ 6:30pm in Huntington
Every Thursday @ 7pm in Farmingville
Every Saturday @ 3pm in BedStuyAnd don’t forget….people need help all year round.

Our jammed packed calendar this month of DECEMBER with fun activities and new places to visit, means there is no reason to be alone this holiday season! come on out and make some new friends!

You can check the Calendar online for more details about this weeks events and other fun stuff on the calendar coming up.

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


Visit the web site to check out our fun events

http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously


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At my SPEED DATING EVENTS, I give 2 types of “matches”
one is a “DATE MATCH” which of course everyone wants! That is the one you sit down with and there is no doubt you want to see this person again. The WOW effect.
Hopefully they feel the same way too!
But life isn’t always so black and white.
Sometimes the best loves are developed or cultivated by patience and persistence. SO I provide a second option which is a “FRIENDS MATCH”.

I am asked frequently and with no surprise… mostly from the gentlemen: what does a FRIENDS MATCH mean?
Well, it is someone that you met for only 7 minutes. Someone with whom you thought was just OK on first impression, and is somewhat interested…but not quite sure about a “DATE” quite yet.

What I suggest is “go slow” with the friends matches.

Meaning, make a connection or invitation on Facebook.
OR invite to meet on a Friday after work at a favorite happy hour place.
Send an email instead of a phone call to make connections.

She or He will either warm up- or not.

The person may become more and more interested if we stick it out a bit.

Of course it could go the other way too!

But nothing ventured nothing gained.

To check out this weeks events CLICK HERE

 

Lots of fun creative ways to enjoy life, make friends and fall in love!

All the best on your quest!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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Ahh yes the wonderful world of online dating.

If you are single, you probably are one of the estimated 20 million people a month that visit an online dating site.

And just think, that number doesn’t even include the married folks that are using online sites too!

Married and looking on the Internet is a big concern to those in marriages that are having some unresolved issues.

Even FACEBOOK has become one of the new ways to cheat, look up your old high school sweetheart, and pick up where you left off.

Problem is people can actually become addicted to online dating, as its like window-shopping with an endless supply of merchandise.

Always-new people to explore and the possibility of finding MR. or MRS perfect seem to be right around the corner. After all it should be very easy to achieve since it appears there is a bottomless pit of choices to pick from.

If someone is not exactly right for them, singles are less inclined to accept it and more likely to think hey… why settle? I can always get someone else who is just that little bit more perfect online.

This form of dating has changed the attitudes of those looking for a potential mate as it seems like it’s just an email or IM away to eternal happiness as opposed to years ago where you had to do the legwork and get out of the house to actually meet people.

And with this instant connection of dating, so have other trends increased.

I like to call it  “FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS ” are much more readily found.

Which I would define as … We like each other, we have a good time together, we’re attracted to each other, we have a lot in common but we’re not LTR material, BUT we can date until someone better comes along!”

I would say the word “disposable” sure does apply here.

Then there is SEXTING …

Text messaging dirty little messages back and forth, to keep the interest going. Which if you find you are spending more time doing more of this, then actually talking or seeing the person, to me that is one really a lame way to have sex.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that online dating is a terrible way to meet people. Many people have found great loves online. But just as many have been scammed, cheated on or lied to much more easily by using this method of dating. You must date with your feet planted firmly on the ground, and get your imagination and head out of the clouds!

Here’s a short list of pros and cons of online dating

Pro’s

  1. VERY easy to get a date – just post a decent profile with a decent picture and your off and running.
  2. You can “shop” more easily– an example is say you want to date only non-smokers, then you can sort your finds by that criteria
  3. You don’t have to limit your choices to your neighborhood. Can increase your odds by increasing your distance – no limits to where!

Con’s

  1. Many Married-and- cheating are using the online dating sites these days as a way to meet unsuspecting singles. Not meeting in person and instead emailing and talking on the phone allow people to easily be something they are not.
  2. Picture may tell 1000 words, but nothing is more upsetting then to meet someone that doesn’t look like their picture at all. People use old pics or fake pics to make themselves more attractive then they really are. Meeting in person is when the moment of truth is set.
  3. The Blind Date: When you go on an online date, you really are going on somewhat of a “blind Date” except you have an idea of what that person looks like. Someone who doesn’t interest you can wind up monopolizing your whole evening! You get dressed, drive to go out to meet someone you almost immediately decide oh no… This one is not for me… yet winds up spending a polite amount of time with this single stranger then go home disappointed.
  4. Pass by good opportunities: Many times you may have passed someone by online; because they totally blew the way they put together their profile online. And nowhere does it count more with online dating; you only get one change to make a first impression.

Over the past 8 years I have been single since my divorce, I personally have gone on what seems like hundreds of online dates. Many of these dates taught me to have patience, and a sense of humor. When I started to feel frustrated with the whole process I decided to go back to the basics and get out and MEET people in person and not to have a mission, but to have a desire to meet someone with a mission to have fun.

Attending Speed Dating and other types of activities allow you to meet face-to-face with age appropriate single men and women locally where you live and work. The events make it easy to meet other singles. You don’t need to worry about whether or not anyone will talk to you. At Speed Dating, there’s no need to fear rejection because at the event no one is allowed to ask someone for a date.

When you think about it, there are all kinds of ways to meet people. I like to explain it as; we all have a goal, a destination to reach. To get to that destination, you could travel by plane, train, and car or bus… but once you get there you don’t really care how – you’re having too much fun to care. But some ways of traveling will be more comfortable, and faster!

I personally prefer the in person way to meet people. Many people have told me when it comes to online dating, they fair much better meeting in a casual way vs. the “interview” with a first online date. For an example – men that are under the height of 5’ 9” have told me, they often get passed by when online dating as people put in the exact height they hope for. But when these great guys meet in person their personality make up for the inch or two on the wish list of any woman.

Also less married and cheating attend single events, as they have to come out in the open and meet strangers that might recognize them as the married guy down the block!

(I did say less, there is no guarantees as some people really have you know what… and will cheat anyway, anyhow )

Check out our interactive activity events and our fun organized Speed-Dating event on the CALENDAR

Step away from the computer and come out and play.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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Hey Gail,
Great advice on your blog. We single people do appreciate it. I think as a single man who is 44 its really hard to meet single women. I see women I would like to meet but am afraid to approach them because they never smile and sometimes even look angry.
Am I doing something wrong? Or are all women on long island stressed out? lol.
I have lived in the south and the women in Florida and Georgia seem friendly and they smile. But up here on Long Island its kind of different. I have heard the women here are kind of stuck up because its long island and they grew up with money and maybe that has something to do with it. Whats your insight on this?
From “T”

———————————————————————————————-

Interesting question “T”

I was born and raised right here on Long Island I so let me try to give you some insight on this place. No we did not all grow up with money. We have poor towns and rich towns here on LI.
However, you are correct about it being more difficult to break the ice here then other parts of the country. My oldest daughter who now lives in N. Carolina will be the first to tell you, life is different off the Island of LONG (Long Island)

Long Island people, men and women in general tend to be a bit more “guarded”. We don’t rush to say HI to everyone person walking down the street, or talk to “strangers” in the store so readily. Sometimes we move into apartments or houses and don’t even know our neighbors for years!
I think this is because we New Yorkers don’t trust as easily. I could be because of the crime rate, we are always concerned someone is a predator out to rip us off, steal or worse.

ALSO – I do think that in this area of NY, more women do seek men with education and or better income jobs. We New Yorkers have more taxes, more expenses then most parts of the country – so income is very important to survive.

Women on LI in general – take better care of themselves. Nails, clothes, the gym, education, so those that do make that investment in themselves expect a higher quality man – higher dividends for that investment.

But here is some GOOD news for you about LI and NY in general  …
There are
210,000 more single women than single men in the New York metropolitan area! More single women then any other part of the USA.
This makes it a “buyer’s market” for men, and super-competitive for women.
In your age group (35-49) – I have twice as many women calling for single events then men.

So how do you break the ice to meet all these beautiful Long Island women?

Attend some of these events, which bring in the girls!

WINE TASTING events are a BIG favorite of women. Last Feb. 2010 at the Planetarium’s we had 67 singles attend a wine tasting and star-viewing event and 50 of them were women!
SPEED DATING has an equal balance of men and women- (the women’s seats are filled long before the guys!) and there we LI women are forced to break away from the pack of girlfriends and talk with you individually.
Much better for you, and you will see, add some humor to the table and you will see those hardened LI girls sport their beautiful smiles!

SPORTS and ACTIVITY events – Such as Bowling, Billiards, Exercise (yoga, martial arts) Comedy shows, ALL have had a higher women to men ratio of attendance! and even if you don’t meet someone, you have will have a fun night out and make some new friends.

So cheer up, we may be a bit more challenging to meet, but we Long Island girls are worth the effort.

All the best on your quest,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com



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Adults that have been thorough a divorce or a death of a spouse, have come to realize that the friendly relationships they once had with other married couples changes after they become single.

Many divorcing couples don’t just divvy up their possessions when they separate; they also divide up and lay claim to their old friends. Or as the saying goes, you find out WHO your friends really are.

I have heard many times from widowed singles how they were showered with much attention at first, but after some time has passed, the relationships they have with married friends changes. They start acting strangely, distant; suddenly not available to hang out or maybe they forgot to invite you to that backyard BBQ…

Try not to take it personally it does happen to everyone when we go through a life change.

And let’s face it…becoming single means you are DATING which means your new world and theirs become very different.

Cultivating new single friendships is very important when you are re-entering the dating scene after many years

So how do you meet new people and develop authentic, deep friendships as a newly single adult? Some of you may be thinking, it’s not quite as easy as it was when we were kids! And for some, it was pretty darn hard even back then!

Most divorced and widowed singles need to regroup and make an extra effort to meet new people. Everyone needs someone to talk to that relates to him or her.

For the single ladies join us for one of our Ladies Brunch and Networking events to make new single friends. Next event is Sunday Oct 3rd in Nassau and Sun Oct 10th in Suffolk. CHECK our CALENDAR for more details


Here are some other creative ways to meet new friends when you start a new life as a single

· Seminars and Workshops ~ Many people go to seminars alone. Learning something new while meeting people that share your interest. CHECK our DATING SUCCESS WORKSHOP schedule ~ next event 9/16/10

  • Volunteer! How about a green organization, a political party, or a favorite cause for Humanity? Women with children can meet other moms volunteering at events that include children. For a few local suggestions on where to volunteer   Check our BLOG Where to meet singles when your not into the bar scene
  • · Walk a dog ~ Borrow a friend’s pooch if necessary. Canines are terrific icebreakers and most dogs will say, “Hi,” to every other dog for you.
  • · Take a Class ~ cooking classes, photography, or anything that interests you are great ways to make new friends. Your local library, or High School has interesting and inexpensive subjects.
  • · Find an exercise buddy ~ Find a hiking or bicycle club on http://www.meetup.com to find happy, healthy new friends
  • · Attend a Divorce or Widow support group ~ Make sure to choose a support group that’s a good fit for you. No one wants to hear constant whiners, who are “stuck” living in the past especially after a divorce.

Now keep in mind, that even if you meet a bunch of those “married” people, at any of these places fear not! Married folks always seem to know a single girlfriend, or a guy you just have to meet!

It’s all about networking and getting out there again just enjoying life.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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