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Loneliness (it’s how you choose to socialize)

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One of the biggest causes of unhappiness is loneliness.  I’m not referring to having somebody special in your life; having a significant other doesn’t mean you won’t be lonely.  Being lonely generally stems from lack of social stimulation.  The technology age is definitely perpetuating this by means of text messaging, Facebook, Twitter and other ‘Social Networks’.  People are so addicted to these forms of social technology that they forget humans require real genuine human interaction. Socially insecure people tend to gravitate to online socializing because they have more control over the amount and timing of their interactions.  Reducing face to face interactions tends to reduce social anxiety for less extroverted individuals. Unfortunately staying within your comfort zone, limits personal growth, and prevents the development of valuable face to face relationships.

Don’t have something to do tonight? Instead of commenting on everybody’s Facebook statuses, give somebody a call and go out for a drink, you would be surprised how much better it feels to talk to a real life physical human being.

If you are single and feel like you need a significant other to be happy, I am going to be blunt,  YOU ARE WRONG.  You can’t be in a healthy relationship until you are happy independently.  Using somebody else as a crutch for your happiness is a one way trip to an unhealthy relationship.  If you are struggling to find a companion, stop looking in bars and stop looking online.  Consider joining activity clubs for singles or participate in a group activity that encourages socialization.  You will meet like minded people who share more in common with you that booze or Facebook friends.

If you really struggle with making friends, read Dale Carnegie’s classic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People“.  This book was written in 1937 and still stands true to this day. It will supply you with the tools needed to form amazing relationships.

Or visit this page 10 Good Tips to help you fight Loneliness

Warm Regards,

 

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

 

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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This story is brought to you by Liesel Rigsby, The Energetic Matchmaker.

CLICK HERE to view web site

https://i1.wp.com/www.lieselrigsby.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Screen-Shot-2014-11-18-at-3.04.50-PM.png

Erin and Tom’s Love Story


Before Tom

After my divorce and before I met Tom, I dated a couple of guys seriously and both times I got super heart broken.

I went into a period of just kind of giving up and not being selective. It was a really cruddy time. I was herding myself through a series of bad choices – dating people I knew it wouldn’t work with.

I got glimpses of what it would be like to have different qualities in a relationship. I dated men who wanted to commit to me or bond with my son Ben or move in together, but they were all like 25.

My friends called me out and said why are you dating 25 year olds who want to be serious with you, but aren’t really ready for it? They’re all too young for you.

I guess it was like getting the illusion of a committed relationship, but not what it would be like with an adult person.

Online Dating Rules

I had one friend who’d been online dating and she talked me into trying it out. At the same time I was doing Soulmate School and another program about being in my power.

So I signed up for a dating site and set new rules for myself.

I had been picking people out based solely on physical attraction and that wasn’t working out for me. The guys I was dating looked amazing on ‘minute one’ but then as I got to know them better they weren’t so great after all.

So with my new rules, I decided I was going to get to know people first and leave the physical stuff out of the game for awhile.

My First Rule was that anyone who asks me out that seems kind and respectful, I go out with him, regardless of looks.

For me it was about meeting and interacting with different people more than anything else.

I went on 20-25 dates in one month. In one day, I had a lunch date, met a guy for a drink after work, and then another guy for a dinner date.

Everyone I met was really nice. And I got to see all of them side by side. How they treated me. One would call when he said he would and then another wouldn’t.

It made it easy to let the not so good situations go without wasting too much time on them. Why would I put up with not being treated well, when there’s plenty of people out there who have their act together and are kind and respectful?

My Second Rule was if the first date wasn’t horrible I’d go on a second date, regardless of whether I was attracted to him or not.

Meeting Tom – No Spark at First

In the end there were 3 people that I was dating.

Tom was one of them.

The day before I met him for the first time, I called my friend and said I want a man who is all of it – adventurous and exciting and sexy and strong and masculine and nice and kind, thoughtful and caring.’ I said to her, ‘maybe I’m  being unrealistic. Maybe I should let that go and just accept that the kind of man who is one side is probably not the other’.

The next day was my first date with Tom.

I thought he was really nice and we had a lot in common and I liked talking to him, but there wasn’t a spark for me. Still I followed my second rule and went out with him again.

On our second date there was more of connection. He was nice, but quiet and all the things we talked about were fine, but again there wasn’t really that spark.

Third Date Fireworks

Then on the third date, it all changed.

He took me canoeing.

He’s a rock climbing and canoeing instructor, and he was totally in his comfort zone. It was like he lit up.

He started showing this adventurous, funny and witty side of himself. And I thought to myself ‘Oh my God, he might possibly be all of it. All of the things I thought I couldn’t have in one guy’.

It felt like everything we talked about that day was right on. There was this spark and connection there and it completely caught me off guard. I had thought if I didn’t feel that connection in the first moment of meeting then it wouldn’t happen.

All of a sudden, it felt really comfortable and exciting all at the same time. I had this knowing feeling of ‘this is it’.

If I had only judged Tom by his online profile, I wouldn’t have gone out with him.  I would have dismissed him as a nice guy but not lively enough for me.

Even after the first date I could have said he’s nice but ‘eh not really doing it for me’.

Tom felt the connection from the first time he saw me – when he saw me walk up on our first date. He thought to himself ‘oh whoa this is different’. Thank God I set those rules!

He’s the perfect combination of both sides of the spectrum – adventurous and masculine and kind and caring.

It’s only gotten better and better over time. We have so much fun all the time, even when we’re just hanging out and talking and being with each other.

Almost Sabotaged It

While we were dating I did a good job of keeping myself in check as far as the things you teach. I kept myself energized and stayed true to myself.

But all along the way I was on the lookout for it to fail.

As we kept getting closer and closer, I got really scared. I started making up issues that didn’t exist to try and protect myself.  I thought that I must be missing something really bad, because it couldn’t be this good.

Without your help and my brother’s help, I would have sabotaged it.

You both talked me out of a few situations where I might have shut it down. I remember thinking that I knew that I was ready because I was turning to people like you and my brother who kept me in it – where in the past I would have gone to other single friends who would say ‘oh just leave that’.

I knew somewhere inside me that this relationship was going good places, so I was careful who I went to for advice.

It was scary for both of us, but we were both willing to keep taking steps forward.

Getting Married

After nearly a year, we started talking about living together. I was clear that I didn’t want to move in without being married, because we both have kids. His son is 4 and mine is 8. They’ve always gotten along super well and really love each other, which is so wonderful.

So we found this really cute house and on the day they went to get the paperwork, I felt sick to my stomach. I loved Tom and I loved the house. I knew we were going to get married at some point, but the house was moving faster than the wedding situation was.

Tom is so wonderful at knowing when I’m off or something is up. So he asked me what was going on, and we had a conversation about why it was so important for me to be married before we moved in. We had talked about it before, but it had kind of gotten lost in the house looking.

Two days later he bought a ring and proposed to me under a giant tree (we both love trees and nature and being outside).

We got married 4 weeks later and moved into the new cute house the same day.

It’s funny in telling the story, it sounds like it all went really fast. We met in July and got married the following July. But it never felt fast. I knew that we’d be together after date 3. It was just about giving ourselves enough time to get to know each other.

I feel so grateful all the time, and I’ll often tear up out of love and gratitude when we’re talking. We support each other and are more in love than I even know what to do with sometimes. It’s just wonderful.

I couldn’t imagine a more perfect fit for me.

~~~~~~~

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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The Appalling Responses To A Woman Who Wore A Fat Suit To Meet Her Tinder Dates

The Huffington Post By Cavan Sieczkowski

What happens when someone’s online dating photos don’t match the real-life version?

For men and women, the responses are dramatically different — and definitely a bit sexist.

In the world of online dating, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer while men are afraid of meeting someone who is fat, at least according to one survey cited in HBO’s 2011 documentary, “When Strangers Click: Five Stories From the Internet.” The guys behind Simple Pickup, a male-driven dating site “devoted to the fine art of picking up girls,” decided to conduct a social experiment to test this very theory.

The idea behind Simple Pickup’s social experiment was to capture the responses of both males and females who meet someone on Tinder who weighs “a little more than [his or her] photo suggests.”

First, they found male Tinder matches for a female friend, using photos that showed her appearing physically thin. Then, before the date, they used body adhesives and makeup to make her appear physically larger than in her photos. A hidden camera was set up at the date site to record the reactions of each of the five men she met during the day.

The results were nothing short of awful. Responses ranged from quizzical to angry. One guy claimed he was married. Another went to use the bathroom, but never returned.

“You look kind of more voluptuous … Are you pregnant?” one man asked before saying “I really don’t appreciate people lying to me,” and leaving.

“It’s very upsetting,” another said. “I’m a little upset. I wasted gas and my time to come over here, and I can’t do this.”

Of the five matches, only one stayed the entire time — although, at one point he did ask her: “Do you like to eat?”

A man doesn’t have to be attracted to a woman to respect her, yet that’s exactly what unfolds in the video. Just because a woman is fat doesn’t mean she isn’t sexy — and encountering a fat woman rather than a thin one does not relieve anyone from practicing human decency.

Simple Pickup conducted the same exact experiment with the roles reversed, using a male participant and female Tinder matches, and the results were shockingly different.

When the Tinder matches met the man who was made up to appear heavier in person, they were not nearly as blunt as their male counterparts. Although each one acknowledged he looked different from his photos, most were nice. Three were willing to continue the date or go out with him again, and one gave him a kiss.

Watch the two social experiments below.

FAT GIRL TINDER DATE

CLICK HERE to see Video with men responses to meeting her….

Click here to see women respond to man that weighs more then his picture

Originally Posted by The Huffington Post By Cavan Sieczkowski

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

 

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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I felt the need to write this latest BLOG because I suddenly became aware of how many singles out there both men and women were so angry! It started on Facebook one day when I innocently posted a picture of some well behaving subdued young guys, in a nice restaurant, in a rather upscale town, just sitting at the bar in the restaurant and watching the game.

I had NO JUDGMENT about them, just found it interesting that since I always hear from the ladies “where are all the guys” here my friend and I, were the only women in the place! So with humor, I posted the picture of the young guys on my FACEBOOK page saying “who says there are no guys on Long Island”

WELL …some 83 posts later…and the two worst offenders blocked… the dust finally settled. Bitter angry words, much judgment about these guys flew back and forth from one angry guy who seemed to hate women .. and one angry woman who was very vengeful about men

This BLOG is for you…..

I have always admired people who have known defeat, known suffering, struggle, loss, yet have found their way out of the depths of their pain without blaming others. These people have an appreciation, and an understanding of life that this too will pass like the storm that moves across the sky.

If you can understand this, you will find it’s sometimes amazing how our greatest joy may have been born from our deepest pain. The highs and lows of love, are part of its reality … part of its nature. Learn how to embrace it, learn to ride it out like the storm.

You must find the strength, and wisdom and faith in knowing that suffering, blaming, staying in the “victim role” will never serve you but keep you stuck in the storm that never passes.

There is a purpose for every person you meet. Instead of viewing and judging these people that have done you wrong, try your best to view people that come in and out of your life, as there for a purpose. Your job is to figure out WHY and WHAT they have taught you.
Some are there to test you, they will use you, and betray you. Some are truly in this life solely for themselves and do not have the skills to think beyond themselves.

Others will teach you, and bring out the best in you and be your genuine friend.

Your quest is figure out if the person in your life is serving you for your best interest.

Different people will teach us different things, but in every lesson, one must always remember that life is too short to hold on to anger and spite.   Instead of choosing to suffer, perhaps that someone that came into your life, came to teach you something.

But if you have someone in your life that is hateful and bitter and always pointing fingers at everyone else, be careful not to let this fool bring you to their level. Remove yourself from the situation, the drama, the vacuum that will suck you dry. If you hang out with these types too long, we start to become the people the energies we hang around with .

Find and seek out the people who are here in your life to teach you, recognize all the gifts and talents that you have. Maybe talents that you had no clue was inside you, develop those relationships.
Don’t waste time becoming angry and trying to control the situation or wishing it turned out different.
 and remember ….sometimes when you don’t get what you want its a wonderful stroke of lucky
Warm Regards,Gail Adams- Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-www.7-in-heaven.com

Personal Matching by Gailwww.HeavenlyMatch.net

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Hungry Ghosts looking for Love

From one of my favorite books  – Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

What is a Hungry Ghost?

Someone who cannot find love.

Its not that love has not come their way… Hundreds of time in their life they are led to tables spread with endless food and precious delights, but no matter how much they eat (date)… they cannot be satisfied. Either they aren’t at the table in time, or can’t seem to taste the food or no matter how much they put in their mouths, they continue to search for more. Hungry ghosts might sample one relationship after another yet not knowing how to digest it, never satisfied.

They never know or get to know the REAL person who is actually standing right in front of them.

All they know is that they want more… and more… and more…

They fantasize that someone ELSE… the “perfect person” is about to walk through the door.

Certain wounded hungry ghosts, may appear like they are available for love, but they really only have an intention to “play the game” the game of seducing and teasing and when love does find them…they reject the person. Their pleasure is in withdrawing the love they seem to be offering. This provides these ghosts with a sense of control so that nobody will ever control them through the strange experience of love.

Hungry Ghosts are the single people who enter huge rooms filled with hundreds of single people and immediately say “ there is no one here tonight” they cannot experience or be satisfied with that which life presents. In terms of relationships, they go around and around on a merry-go-round grabbing for the gold ring which is always just beyond their reach. OR if they do catch it, they soon discover to their horror that it is not actually gold! but brass.

All of this is exhausting and disheartening and makes the hungry ghost very sad.

Even when they are with someone they love, they often wonder, could someone else be their TRUE soul mate out there? Could they missing them?

Their painful affliction, which has become quite familiar, has become hard to change.

Its almost like they have developed an affliction for this pattern. Maybe they love being alone?

What the hungry ghost is lacking is the one missing very important ingredient to falling in love…

PATIENCE

It takes time for a person to feel at home in a relationship and to reveal whom they really are so you can see the good inside. It takes time to wait for another and to develop true caring and trust.

Hungry ghost however have a difficult time with patience.

Starving for food and love they will often grab at anything just to satisfy themselves. Sometimes don’t even know the difference between food and garbage! They take in anything in anyway just as long as they can immediately feel full … it’s the hollow feeling they can’t tolerate that drives their lives

Does this information seem to describe you somewhat?

Hungry Ghosts never satisfied?

What can you do to change to become more successful and break the bad karma?

First and foremost we must STOP our attachment to the patterns and false notions that the love we so desperately crave comes from somewhere, or someone else. When we are dependent upon the external world to fulfill us, sooner or later the rock we keep trying to roll up the mountain begins to fall down.

Conditions change

People leave

Our sense of ourselves falters with the changes

Without the hardships, how can we appreciate what is valuable? And just as quickly, love can happen in a second, but we have to be open and ready to accept it.

We discount so many on first impressions while we are waiting for the “right one” to appear.

Take time today to relax, to be patience.

To know wishing or demanding love to happen NOW will only prolong your search.

Enjoy life as best you can, enjoy the days, evenings and weekends making new friends even if you don’t meet “the one” that very night.

To check out this weeks events CLICK HERE

Lots of fun creative ways to enjoy life, make friends and fall in love!

All the best

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why does this relationship appears to be only about SEX !

How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply enlighten you of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he will be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair!

Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell (or beg you) it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day shows up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty?

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel. THAT works both ways for MEN and WOMEN

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust firs t. You are worth it !

But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl Just think of  all the drama I am saving you from  those crazy stalking women that will follow you, if you go too far too soon, and then you decide you want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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No, this week’s blog is not about how to date cheap!

This week we will discuss a very important topic about your future success in dating. I see this on a regular basis with so many singles and I fear they will remain single for a lot longer than they desire. Why?

They are limiting their options with a narrow (or impossible) search criteria.

I like to refer to this as:

Dating with a Champagne taste with a Beer pocketbook”

That’s an old phrase which the definition reads:

Someone who lives above his or her means and likes things they cannot afford has champagne taste on a beer budget.

What do I mean by that?

Your taste / standards in men or women are really beyond your reality.

When we begin a relationship we both “bring something to the table”. Someone might be well off financially and someone may admire the other person’s knowledge in money-making skills, and can learn from their financial wisdom. (OK or maybe they just want to date a RICH GUY!)

Or maybe you are way above average in looks, and this natural born blessing can attract many men

Maybe you are good at cooking and the other person is not, and values that talent….

OR you could be a very careful, decisive person, and you admire some else for their ability to make decisions so accurately yet impulsively.

Yes, there is something to the Yin / Yang theory that opposites attract… But even opposites have an equal balance between them.

Because if they don’t you will find that:

 

Opposites attract – THEN ATTACK!

Hey let’s be real… YES we all have dreams.

We all have standards.

We all have ideas about how it’s supposed to look or be.

But when we remain trapped in our fantasies, reality suffers.

And nowhere is this more apparent than in the dating scene.

Are you dating with a Champagne taste on a Beer pocketbook?

Are your standards for love too high?

Let’s take a little test here…

Look through 100 profiles on online and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How many did you find attractive?
  2. How many met your criteria: age, height, weight, income, smoking, religion, etc.?
  3. How many wrote interesting profiles that would make you think they’d be compelling conversation on a date?

Now look at the number of people that met the above criteria’s of yours,

How many out of that 100 made the cut?

That is your percentage. If the number of people who met your requirements is less than 5 percent then you need to re-think your wish list.

Yes this may be shocking to discover, but out of 100 people online, you may have found there are only five are even dateable.

So now consider this…out of those five, how many of them do you think will love your family and appreciate your quirks?

How many of them have the same long-term relationship goals as you?

Most importantly, how many of those five will think that you are cute enough to them, thin enough, young enough, rich enough, smart enough, kind enough and interesting enough?

They have choices too.

So what does all this mean?

Are we doomed to a life of solitude and loneliness?

No.

But we might have to adjust our perspective a bit, though.

We need to open up our age range, our height range, our body types, to people we might not have considered otherwise. Until we give others a chance, what hope do we have that they will give us a chance?

This is a perfect example of why I say that meeting in person at single events is SO much better then online dating. So many times we pass on opportunities online, that had we met in person, we would have chosen them to begin with. In real life, if you start talking to someone at a speed dating party who is intriguing, and the next day get their phone number and set up a date. You may not find out until later that he’s a different religion, or political party and by then you already like them!

A perfect example of this is a couple that both in there early 40’s and both had never been married. Both have a long list of “must haves”, including meeting a partner of the same religion.

Well guess what?  They met at party 6 months ago, SHE is Catholic and Republican. HE is Jewish and a Liberal and they have been together ever since.

What this all means is anything is possible if we LIKE someone and broaden our views.

What we think we “must have” merely limits our options.

For example, I know of a male customer that comes to my events, who is 57 and owns a multimillion-dollar business he started when he was in his 20’s . He insists he ONLY wants a woman younger then him, as any woman his age or older will “not be able to keep up with him”.

He never got a college degree, so he wouldn’t cut it in many women’s educational requirements that earn as much as he does.

Too bad for him! I’ve know of a single female who is 63 and still bike rides 30 miles round trip to work, loves to ski and play tennis. She’s amazingly beautiful, youthful and vibrant, intelligent and completely off the radar for most men her age.

It’s a shame, isn’t it?

Actually when you think about it, what it does is reminds us how hard it is to find somebody special. Signing up for online dating, or going to singles events, in hopes of falling in love right away with Mr. Or Ms “Perfect” is pretty much the equivalent of going to Vegas, walking up to the first slot machine you see, throwing in a $1 and win back one million on the first try.

NOW don’t get me wrong…by no means am I suggesting that we shouldn’t have standards or we should not believe there is no such thing as a perfect match; so take the next train wreck that comes in!

No one should ever compromise on his or her morals, values, and spiritual affiliation. With that said, I must say that there are a ton of single men and women out here who has a long lists of MUST HAVES which are totally unrealistic and with little flexibility on their dream man or woman list.

If you insist that you could never date someone who didn’t have an advanced degree, make at least six figures, must be a good-looking rate of 9.5 on a scale of 1-10 (especially when you are a 5 at best, MUST love to ski, and never ever looses his temper or disagrees, OR you must find someone that is  still a virgin with no children to start a family and you are 45, you just might need to get real.

Should that be the case, your standards are not too high they’re just plain foolish.

Is it possible you could be creating your own roadblocks?

This quote says it perfectly:

Rumi: Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why does this relationship appears to be only about SEX !

How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply enlighten you of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he will be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair!

Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell (or beg you) it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day shows up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty?

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel. THAT works both ways for MEN and WOMEN

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust firs t. You are worth it !

But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl Just think of  all the drama I am saving you from  those crazy stalking women that will follow you, if you go too far too soon, and then you decide you want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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So up to this point, there has not been too much

competition in the personal MATCHMAKING services for Long Island

Well that has all changed now…

Heavenly MATCH  is here on Long Island for Matchmaking  services

How many singles are here on Long Island?

Long Island is made up of a very diverse group of people.  As of the 2010, Long Island had a population of 7,568,304 making it the most populated island in any U.S. state or territory! AND in the entire USA 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older were SINGLE! So if we do our math correctly… about 333,000 residents of Long Island SINGLE.

Now you might think its easy to find someone with all these singles living in one spot right? Well think again; one person described it to me this way… Imagine you are at a big mall with thousands of people there at one time, how many of those people do you think you would get to meet personally and how many would you actually want to date?

Why would someone hire a matchmaker?

Personal matchmaking takes the tiresome legwork out of dating by outsourcing ‘the search’ for interesting, like-minded individuals that have YOUR same desires at heart. My prior years of experience and background as a head-hunting / corporate recruiter, makes me a sharp judge of character in a mate making me your Perfect Personal Liaison for LOVE!

And our sister company 7 in Heaven Singles Events is a perfect combination for networking and meeting long island singles.

We currently have over 5000 Long Island Singles as members!

What kind of individuals become exclusive clients of matchmakers?Generally most clients are upscale professionals age 28 to 40+ and looking to settle down and start a life with someone for the first time. Other clients are in their 40′s and 50′s and up, established in life, perhaps already have been married prior, and seeking to fulfill their goals of finding the right life partner for the rest of their lives.

Learn more about this new Matchmaking Service by clicking HERE

Check out our GREAT Articles on Dating Advice, Stories and Support on this blog!

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I received a call the other day from someone who was thinking of registering for a SPEED DATING event of ours. The woman went on to explain her boyfriend of 6yrs just “left her” and to use her words… was devastated and lost, as she stated she really loved him. She claims she doesn’t even know exactly WHY the breakup happened and doesn’t think she will ever meet anyone again. She can’t seem to get the whole thing out of her mind; so because her friends insisted she should get out, she was calling me to go to the SPEED DATING event.

I told her:

OF COURSE YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE AGAIN!

But are you sure you are ready to do an event like Speed Dating yet?

If you can’t get this off your mind, you may talk about it a bit too much, and if you did, it would not be to your advantage to tell every man you meet at the event what you just told me! How much you loved this man and how brokenhearted you are. Not attractive…

I agree with your friends you need to get out of the house and do something, but I encourage you to be honest with everyone you meet and explain you are joining us tonight to simply make some new friends at this point and leave it at that.


The first and most critical step is to allow yourself time to heal after a breakup or separation.

DON’T isolate yourself, get out and socialize, but don’t look for an immediate replacement!

Instead try just going out just for the fun of … going out!

This is why I host all kinds of events for every stage of this process.

Some are not actually ready at this time to step out and go on a real “DATE”.  So for those I suggest a Speed Dating event, which is really a great way to “practice” dating again for those that have not dated in quite some time. Or for some, a simple mixer such as a single mingle or activity (Bowling, Mini Golf etc.) event is a great way to ‘get your feet wet’.

Or for women- our Ladies Brunch Social (next event Sun Jan 5th) simply to just make some new single girlfriends! For some ladies all they may need at this point, is to get back out there and simply make some new single girlfriends, whom you have more in common with.
The first 6 months to a year after a death of a spouse, divorce, or breakup of a long term relationship, are hard enough; so don’t make it worse by sitting home alone and sulking. Force yourself to rise from your sorrow if you have to. Get out there and spend time around caring newly single people like yourself now more than ever.

But date slowly during this process.

What I mean by that is try not to get too emotionally involved so not to repeat the same bad relationship you just got out of!

Take this example: “Debbie” just got divorced. Her husband always expressed anger by yelling. This made her feel out of control. Debbie now swears that she will never again marry a man who yells.

“Within 2 years, Debbie meets and marries Joe.

Now Joe… never gets angry.

Problem solved – right?

No.

Joe gets angry like everyone else, but when he’s angry, he becomes silent. Debbie finds that this silence treatment, brings about the same anxiety/stress that her first husband’s yelling did. .

Has she made a bad choice with Joe?

No, but she has to deal with those feelings of being out of control when Joe gives her the silent treatment instead of yelling. The situation forces her to deal with those feelings all over again. If she blames Joe for her unhappiness, instead of discovering herself, she is destined to divorce again.

To fully rise from the pain of a breakup, the final stage of healing is so simple yet most people miss it:

Forgive yourself, and forgive your ex.

Forgive yourself for all the things you could have done.

Forgive your ex for everything you wish he/she could have done.

Make the decision to move on and leave the past behind, no matter what it is or how “wronged” you felt you were.

That is the final step in healing and emerging from a divorce or breakup.

Here is a great quote from Sara Paddison:

Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologizes or changes.

Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you.

Love them and release them.

Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me.

–Sara Paddison

And when you reach this important level of healing you can truly be open again to be with someone else.


All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

Energy flows where attention goes

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want? 

Are you giving your attention to what you have 

or to what you don’t have? 

Are you focusing on abundance or lack? 

Energy flows where attention goes! 

SO many times I struggle to listen on the phone to the negative energy and beliefs of the singles out there that feel there is no one. YET they sign up for an event, say I will try, only to give up after only one event attended! Boy am I glad Thomas Edison or the Wright Brothers didn’t think this way!  We all have the power to change our love lives no matter if you are STUCK  in a bad relationship or OUT and can’t find one. It all starts with Gratitude. If we can pay attention to what IS WORKING  in our lives, pay attention to those that DO LOVE US ,  we will suddenly start to see the way out.

I once read in a book by Deepak Chopra – “I bought a Volkswagen, and before I bought a Volkswagen, I hardly ever saw one on the road. Now that I own one, it has become what I pay attention to.  EVERYWHERE I see Volkswagons! Where before I never noticed them”

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want?

Every here someone say I am a Man Jerk Magnet! They seem to be attracted to me! Or for guys… I seem to attract all the crazy women out there.

Ask yourself …. am I paying too much attention to what I DON’T want?

Another one that drives me crazy… There are no good men out there… where are all the men? or from the guys… Are there any NORMAL  women out there? I can’t find a good women

Are you focusing on abundance or lack?

My answer to that is HECK YES there are 1000’s of Great Guys and Gal especially living on Long Island are you kidding me? We are a short distance from NYC with millions and there are millions living right here on Long Island!  Trust me, there is no lack of singles  bt if this is what you have decided to focus on I guess your right. No one out there in the vast millions of singles

So start small with your changes- but do make the adjustments and start with BELIEVING it is possible.

Gail Adams- Event CoordinatorPersonal Matchmaking Services

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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It’s that time of year… and singles that are dealing with a recent death or breakup / separation the transition of making these life changing experiences can be especially challenging during the Holiday season.

No one wants to be alone. Best simple suggestion to help you feel a little better during this adjustment period  try volunteering your time or donating to help those less fortunate.

There are countless charities around that would need your help and would love for you to offer your time or donation.

Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home will help remind you how fortunate you really are despite your current situation.

Check it out and find charitable activities that will stimulate and amuses you.

Visit  Long Island Volunteer Center  pick an organization that you feel most passionate about! Get involved make new friends

Not everyone will be single, but it will make you feel good, and you may just make some new single friends!

*ALL THIS MONTH!

Donate, time, money or an item.. receive a $5 off coupon from 7 in Heaven for an event!

Donation boxes and collections  at every event this month

7 in Heaven’s Charity picks for this month:

CLEANING ANGELS   by Theresa Family Cleaning  

*Cleans houses for free for those undergoing cancer treatments $65 cleans one house but any amount donation is appreciated

Needs donations in any amount

——————————————————————-

HOPE for Youth  (Foster Care assistance)

* Helps Foster children and their families with housing, guidance and support. Goal is to keep them on the right path!

Needs  donations and or – organizations/ businesses that can donate services such as – accounting, youth athletic programs (karate, dance etc..) Printer business for flyers, Taxi services anything that might help! call and ask…..

OR – new toys for older teens- EXAMPLES- Gift Cards for Movies, Mall shopping, Best Buys, Itunes…used or new WEE Games or other electronic games.

———————————————————————-

Homeless VETERANS of Northport

*Donations of toiletries such as toothpaste, flip/flops for showers, soap, shampoo are being collected at Events this month for 7 in Heaven. Try the dollar store! can get all these items for $1 each!

Bring any of these items to an event – Receive a $5 off coupon at the event for your donation.

* Visit the web site above to see how you can volunteer your time with activities they have for the vets there,

———————————————————————-

Another suggestion is:
Long Island Food Not Bombs

Which is an amazing organization that helps share FREE food to Long Islanders in need.

You can donate food, or items you don’t want and it will go to those that need it!

This community organization shares free groceries, clothing, books, toys, etc… with anyone that can use it.

The people that come to LIFNB don’t just get some food, they share and give a good portion of what a person may need for a whole week.

That means on most days folks can leave with 3 or 4 large bags of fresh organic groceries, (breads, fruits, veggies, protein, juice etc.)

Long Island Food Not Bombs shares every week at these locations:
*Click on the town for more details
Every Sunday @ 2pm in Hempstead
Every Monday @ 5:30pm in Coram
Every Tuesday @ 6:30pm in Huntington
Every Thursday @ 7pm in Farmingville
Every Saturday @ 3pm in BedStuyAnd don’t forget….people need help all year round.

Our jammed packed calendar this month of DECEMBER with fun activities and new places to visit, means there is no reason to be alone this holiday season! come on out and make some new friends!

You can check the Calendar online for more details about this weeks events and other fun stuff on the calendar coming up.

DON’T MISS our Big GALA NEW YEARS PARTY!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

about this fabulous NEW YEARS EVE PARTY 2011!

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!


Visit the web site to check out our fun events

http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously


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I received a call the other day from someone who was thinking of registering for a SPEED DATING event of ours. The woman went on to explain her boyfriend of 6yrs just “left her” and to use her words… was devastated and lost, as she stated she really loved him. She claims she doesn’t even know exactly WHY the breakup happened and doesn’t think she will ever meet anyone again. She can’t seem to get the whole thing out of her mind; so because her friends insisted she should get out, she was calling me to go to the SPEED DATING event.

I told her:

OF COURSE YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE AGAIN!

But are you sure you are ready to do an event like Speed Dating yet? If you can’t get this off your mind, you may talk about it a bit too much, and if you did, it would not be to your advantage to tell every man you meet at the event what you just told me! How much you loved this man and how brokenhearted you are. Not attractive…

I agree with your friends you need to get out of the house and do something, but I encourage you to be honest with everyone you meet and explain you are joining us tonight to simply make some new friends at this point and leave it at that.


The first and most critical step is to allow yourself time to heal after a breakup or separation.

DON’T isolate yourself, get out and socialize, but don’t look for an immediate replacement!

Instead try just going out just for the fun of … going out!

This is why I host all kinds of events for every stage of this process.

Some are not actually ready at this time to step out and go on a real “DATE”.  So for those I suggest a Speed Dating event, which is really a great way to “practice” dating again for those that have not dated in quite some time. Or for some, a simple mixer such as a single mingle or activity (Bowling, Golf etc.) event is a great way to ‘get your feet wet’.

Or for women- our Ladies Brunch Social (next event Sun Jan 2) simply to just make some new single girlfriends! For some ladies all they may need at this point, is to get back out there and simply make some new single girlfriends, whom you have more in common with.
The first 6 months to a year after a death of a spouse, divorce, or breakup of a long term relationship, are hard enough; so don’t make it worse by sitting home alone and sulking. Force yourself to rise from your sorrow if you have to. Get out there and spend time around caring newly single people like yourself now more than ever.

But date slowly during this process. What I mean by that is try not to get too emotionally involved so not to repeat the same bad relationship you just got out of!

Take this example: “Debbie” just got divorced. Her husband always expressed anger by yelling. This made her feel out of control. Debbie now swears that she will never again marry a man who yells.

“Within 2 years, Debbie meets and marries Joe.

Now Joe… never gets angry.

Problem solved – right?

No.

Joe gets angry like everyone else, but when he’s angry, he becomes silent. Debbie finds that this silence treatment, brings about the same anxiety/stress that her first husband’s yelling did. .

Has she made a bad choice with Joe?

No, but she has to deal with those feelings of being out of control when Joe gives her the silent treatment instead of yelling. The situation forces her to deal with those feelings all over again. If she blames Joe for her unhappiness, instead of discovering herself, she is destined to divorce again.

To fully rise from the pain of a breakup, the final stage of healing is so simple yet most people miss it:

Forgive yourself, and forgive your ex.

Forgive yourself for all the things you could have done.

Forgive your ex for everything you wish he/she could have done.

Make the decision to move on and leave the past behind, no matter what it is or how “wronged” you felt you were.

That is the final step in healing and emerging from a divorce or breakup.

Here is a great quote from Sara Paddison:

Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologizes or changes.

Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you.

Love them and release them.

Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me.

–Sara Paddison

And when you reach this important level of healing you can truly be open again to be with someone else.


All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

This week on Thursday 2/25 we held our “Flirting 101” workshop for Dating Success Simplified. And I think what we learned was:

Flirting is the ultimate welcome and very easy to give to someone.

When you flirt with someone, you are telling him or her that they are welcome in your world. To be welcomed is a gift and far more meaningful than it appears on the surface.

One of the oldest traditions of mankind is the welcome.

In every time and culture in history, the “welcome” has been a huge part of the social interactions, both small and great.

Welcoming others is a time-honored tradition, which enters many areas of our lives. The best companies know this and make a point of welcoming us when we visit their businesses. We buy welcome mats for our homes; we say “you’re welcome” in our everyday speech.

Those who know how to make others feel welcomed are the most loved and sought-after companions.

On the other hand, not feeling welcome – especially for a man – is a huge rejection. It’s the quickest kiss of death for any potential relationship.

When we don’t feel welcome somewhere, we immediately want to leave. As the saying goes, “I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.” An ego can be a fragile thing when not handled with care and affection.

Flirting is the ultimate welcome.

What exactly is it to welcome someone?

It is to give someone your attention, and tell them that you are happy to have met them and be with them.

Some of the most seemingly unapproachable men can suddenly become very appealing and sexy indeed when inspired by a little flirting – because they suddenly feel noticed and welcomed.

The key to successful flirting is to keep it light, casual, and playful.

But its also equally important to know when to flirt and know when not to!
Don’t get me wrong – I am all for “assertive” flirting, not to be mistaken with “aggressive” flirting.  It all has to be done in such a way that the other person does not see you as “aggressive”.

I know… “aggressive” is a loaded word that means different things to different people.  I prefer the word assertive, and many men and women love when someone is assertive in flirting and paying attention to them.

But the bottom line is never be fearful of trying.

Go after what you want!

Playing it safe will never win anyone over.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

OK so sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, or maybe because of them – (trying too hard) things do not always go the way we want them to.

That’s ok too, its all part of the process.

Just it let go.

What is to be is to be, and what is not to be, is not.

If you run into a situation where you find yourself in a “dead end” after trying to be playful / flirty with some, its ok! Don’t freak out.

Just use some charm, and maybe some humor too, you will find it will never steer you wrong in the long haul.

Trust yourself that you will instinctively know just how far to “push” with anyone.

Here’s some links to tips on Flirting for both men and women:

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy

http://www.cosmogirl.com/guys/guide-to-guys/flirt-like-you-mean-it

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-With-a-Pretty-Girl

http://www.wikihow.com/Physically-Flirt-with-a-Girl

http://www.ehow.com/how_2324598_via-text-message-easy-steps.html

OK so now you need to go out and practice your flirting skills!

Try them out on strangers in the grocery store, the laundry mat, on the LIRR, or at the mall. Hey… even if you make a mistake, you most likely won’t see them again anyway! AND you will be that much more practiced and ready when you go to a singles event.

*Next Flirting workshop will be Thursday 4/22 place TBD


All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

Hey Gail,

I finally got to go out with that “cute guy” I met when I attended your last event. But after going out on a first date with him, I’m not sure if he is “the one”.

When I met my X-boyfriend it was crazy on our first date!

We couldn’t get enough of each other.

Of course he wound up being a total nightmare in the end.

I don’t want to make another mistake like that again.

Any advise on or inside info you can give me to help me make my decision on “the cute guy” ?

Thanks,

“V”

____________________________

Dear “V”

Giving up too soon, or going at 100 miles an hour while dating someone can both lead to disaster!

Truth be told, it takes much more than the 7mins at a SPEED DATING event, followed up with a first REAL date, to know for sure how you really feel about continuing the dating process with someone.

(And for them to realize just how fabulous YOU are too!).

Same goes for online dating.

Chatting on the phone, looking at pics does not mean you can let yourself believe you have “met the one” until you have met and actually DATED “the one” before allowing yourself to go there!

And even if your first outing with a guy or girl doesn’t result in instant chemistry and love-at-first-sight, it doesn’t mean that those intense feelings won’t develop in time once you’ve had a chance to shake off the nerves and get to know the REAL person behind the new date outfit and minty-fresh smile.

On the other hand, trying to speed things up, to a intense relationship level, before the first date is even over is equally as unproductive.

Dating is a process, which will reveal itself as positive experience with future potential or a negative experience with NO potential when the right time has come.

Now sometimes you know right away especially if there are “deal breakers” involved and waving their bright red flags in front of your face!

Here a list of some DEAL BREAKERS or the “Bottom line” decision makers to go forward to the next date, or to abandon ship now!

*  Major “mama’s boy” or still is “Daddy’s princess”

*  Has a history of – or has shown a tendency toward –  ANY kind of abuse (mental, emotional, physical)

*  Person has an activate and present drug or alcohol problem (or smoking cigarettes if that’s on your list too)

*  Shows a complete lack of manners (EXAMPLE- on first date is very RUDE to the waiter/waitress)

*  Emotionally unavailable THIS is a big one we often bypass…(EX: TELLS you not ready to get into a committed relationship, still getting over the “X”)

*  You don’t feel an ounce of chemistry with him (This one is self explanatory!)

*  You’re hopelessly incompatible with one another (*you want kids someday, he never does; you want to marry a Jew, he’s Catholic, etc…)

*  Financially irresponsible life style. (in debt, looking for a way out)

Do yourself a favor and come up with your own list of DEAL BREAKERS today, so they’re always in the back of your mind. It will allow you to weed out the undesirables in the dating pool and leave you with only the most qualified candidates and help you truly become a SELECTIVE DATER.

Now here’s some great simple statements to say to yourself to keep your feet planted safely on the ground for all those SPEED DATERS

  1. I will not compromise my bottom line no matter HOW attractive he or she is!
  2. I realize FANTASIES keep me off balance – I WILL NOT start spinning fantasies about the future no matter how attractive he or she is
  3. If he or she seems to be too good to be true, they probably are.  (*old school rule and works great for dating….)
  4. If this doesn’t work, remember there is still something valuable I will have learned from the experience.

And speaking of dates that don’t go your way… try to remember that dates gone wrong are never a waste of time..

“Nothing ventured nothing gained”

Hope that helps in making your decision, keep in touch and let me know how it’s going!

All the best,

Gail

PS – Got a friend with a hot first date coming up?
Forward this blog – they’ll thank you for it!

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can post a comment below anonymously

or email me direct at info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Dear Gail,
I simply don’t understand men. Why is it that men only seem to be attracted to the pretty “BITCHES” that treat them like crap rather then the women that are real?

There are plenty of cold, calculating, shallow, controlling women who I
don’t believe deserve to be in a loving relationship, yet they are the ones that get the guy!

You say you make being single fun, well… I would LOVE to hear one single person out there tell me that he or she is actually REALLY enjoying their single-hood.

My friends who keep telling me to “get out there and enjoy being single!”  are either  married or in a relationship!

Who are they to tell me to pack my days with fun-filled activities and enjoy being single! They have a “date” every Sat night, they are not alone!

Yes, I am alone.
No, I do not want to be alone. And I am sick and tired of being told that “the guy” will come, that he’s out there somewhere.

Sign me… tired of waiting for my prince charming,
“T”

Dear “tired of waiting for the prince”

As you may already know…..
“A Negative Attitude About Being Single Will Keep You Single…
Only positive thinking will help turn your dating fate”

First of all, positive thinking will help with the root cause of not meeting the right person… which is unhealthy behavior and INSECURITY.

Think about it…. Why would any man be attracted to a woman (or anyone, for that matter) that has a negative attitude and behave in a dramatic needy, whiny, or controlling way?

Let’s break those words down…

“Needy” – They have NEEDS (namely love, acceptance, security) that they desperately want to be met.

“Whiny” – What comes to mind when you think of whining? Babies. Infants whine out of frustration because they don’t yet know how to ask for what they want or need. The same goes for men and women of any age who haven’t learned healthy ways of communicating.

“Controlling” – Why do people become controlling? Because they feel out of control. This feeling of having no handle on their life scares them so much that they delude themselves into thinking that they have the power to MAKE someone love them or FORCE them to behave in a certain way.

I hope to encourage both men and women to take a look at their lives and try fill their hearts up with love for themselves. Focus on creating a new fulfilling life of friends, fun 7 in Heaven Singles activities, and passions for themselves rather than waiting for a man or women to come along and make them whole – the results are absolutely ASTOUNDING.

You will feel happier. You will wake up in the morning, excited about the day to come and the possibilities of love it brings. You’ll get out and enjoy the fabulous life you’ve created, and while your doing that, good available singles will sit up and take notice of you! They will see this confident, irresistible woman strolling down the street with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips and think, “Wow…there’s something about that girl. I’ve got to meet her!”

When you’re confident in yourself, you radiate happiness. The neediness that once scared men off has been replaced with deep contentment.

You cease to focus on CONTROLLING a man and instead put the focus on what you DO have control over… your own life.

The *desperation you once felt (*BELIEVE ME, men can sense desperation from a mile away…) has now been replaced with security – a knowing that you WILL meet someone wonderful to share your life, but in the meantime, you’ll enjoy everything that life has to offer.

I have spent my life married more years total then I have been single, but I have now had 7 years of being single and can tell you that it’s not about “loving” being single or “loving” being married…

It’s about LOVING YOUR LIFE no matter what phase you’re in.

When I am single and not involved with someone, I have learned to love my life just the way it is because I got to spend more time with my friends, I now have my dream job (owning my own business) and enjoyed some pretty cool events, and I got to go on dates with some really interesting, fun guys.

Yes, some men I got involved with were duds. Yes, some dates were disasters. Yes, I even got DUMPED a few times in my day. So why didn’t this take me down for the count? Because I didn’t make these guys my LIFE… I suddenly realized I have a fabulous life of my own, and I was trying to make these guys that were not right …fit in.

Like a square peg in a round hole as they say!

I’m happier today because realize I still have my true blue friends, and even though I don’t make as much money as I use to, I have an even BETTER job then I have ever had before. I can’t tell you how much fulfillment I get from seeing singles make great connections.

I’m sorry that you’re alone. (I’ve been there myself, and it’s not easy.) But we all have choices and we have to remember no one has to suffer through painful, confusing, and dramatic relationships anymore.

Old wounds and insecurities CAN be healed which will open doors to a healthy, loving relationship.

You say that everyone tells you that “the guy will come.” The thing is, “T”, when you hold onto that negative, self-defeating attitude, he’s probably NOT going to come. That’s because you’ve closed yourself off and – whether you’re conscious of it or not – are sending the signal “stay away.” Men are just as afraid of rejection as women are, and they are not going to approach you when you’re giving off such an approachable vibe.

Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting different results.” You’ve been carrying around that “being single sucks” and “I’ll never meet a man” attitude every day and the result is that you’re alone.

Maybe it’s time to try something different.

My hope for you is that you can open your heart and mind to the possibility that positive thinking does actually work. Hang in there “T”… I hope that you’ll stay in touch and send me an update!

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

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