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This information is brought to you by Orna!

Hello singles out there!

I want to share 3 important words that have changed my life forever when it came to finding love. Those words are: WomanSad

Nobody is coming.

 
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WHAT ABOUT YOU?
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Listen, if you and I were sitting across from each other in a cafe, and we were being totally honest with each other, here’s what I would say to you (because I care enough about you to give you the straight truth with no sugar coating):

“Is it fair to say that you’ve been struggling with relationships for a while now? Sure sometimes it’s been easier than others, but in the end… here you are… still single and waiting for “the one” to show up.”

“You have to take responsibility for what’s in Your Love Imprint™ and change it so that it guides you toward success… automatically. If you don’t change Your Love Imprint™, I guarantee that your unconscious mind is going to keep making you feel attracted to guys that are wrong for you.”

“Nobody is coming to magically fix things. You have to do the same thing you did in your career and take action so you can be successful.”

Ouch… I know. But in our heart of hearts, you know it’s the truth, and I’m the one who cares enough to give it to you straight.

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DO I TAKE MY OWN ADVICE?
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Absolutely.

Once I finally stopped trying to figure out what was wrong with all the men out there and started looking at my own love imprint, I was shocked at what I found in there.
couple_happy
I finally realized that NOTHING I did was going to work until my love imprint was straightened out, and that’s when I took action.  

The result? I met my soulmate, got married, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been 🙂

And guess what? It was EASY! It was sooooooooo much easier once my love imprint was actually working to attract a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one.

What about you?

 
Love and Abundance,
Orna

 

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Julio sent to me recently letting me know of this connection that lead to a marriage ! Although I know of hundreds of connections, and marriages made through  7 in Heaven, not everyone takes the time to write to me and let me know how they have met someone fabulous attending my events.

Thank you to all that have done so, as your happiness, is my joy
for allowing me to know this really does work

Please keep those notes coming.

Gail

 

Hi Gail,

I thought it was worthwhile letting you know about a success story from attending one of your events in Oceanside more than 3 years ago. When people ask how we met, we still fondly recall all the details from that night.

Both me and my wife, Heather, were invited as secondary guests through our friends and after a 2.5 year courtship we married last October. Although we only attended one of your events, there was just the right connection and fortunate timing to develop into a life together.

Best wishes to you and a prosperous business.

Julio

 

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Gail Adams  Owner and Founder 

7 in Heaven Singles Events

 

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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THE NEW RULES OF ATTRACTION

by NINA MALKIN

When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that anyone would be a fool not to follow them. Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: if you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, you decide to cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. In short, many rules people choose to follow need a little revamping. To that end, we’ve consulted authorities in the field to bring you the most up-to-date strategies for finding someone you’ll click with romantically.

ImageOld rule: You can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone in three seconds.

New rule: You can’t tell if you’re truly attracted to someone until you’ve had three dates.

“Love at first sight” is a familiar romantic notion. And in our increasingly fast-paced world, it’s convenient to think you can tell whether you click with someone that quickly. But experts recommend cultivating a bit more patience by sticking to a three-date minimum to know for sure whether you’re a match (or not). The reason? People are a bundle of nerves on date #1, begin to unwind on date #2, but only by date #3 can someone truly relax and maybe build some rapport with another person. And while sparks early on are nice and all, they say nothing about someone’s long-term partnering potential. “An important part of a compatible relationship is ensuring that each partner’s values coincide — and to learn that takes time, discussion, observation, and interpersonal interaction, not an initial impression based on superficial cues,” says James C. Piers, Ph.D., professor and program director of social work at Hope College in Holland, MI. So, don’t write someone off (or fall head over heels) until you’ve done your due diligence.

Old rule: Your mate must meet all the criteria on your “must-have list.”

New ruleImage: A “must-have list” looks great on paper, but it won’t keep you warm at night.

You can check off the attributes you want — appearance, background, education, career, salary, etc. — but unless you’re building your partner in a lab, you’re almost certainly missing out. Of course, you should have standards and not settle for a two-packs-a-day smoker who doesn’t want kids when you’re allergic to cigarette smoke and eager to start a family… but settling for nothing less than perfection is unrealistic. “Wish lists are a classic recipe for unsuccessful dating,” says relationship coach Hu Fleming, Ph.D. “They’re too limiting and don’t allow for chemistry, which is more intangible and valuable.” Try to be flexible, especially when it comes to physical or material attributes like someone’s height, salary, or hair color. After all, just because someone’s 6’2”, blonde, or makes six figures doesn’t mean he or she will make you happy, so do yourself a favor and treat your wish list describing your ideal mate as just one factor in deciding who’s right for you.

ImageOld rule: Opposites attract.

New rule: Opposites attract and they attack! 

Dating your diametric opposite might mean feeling the surprise of relating to someone really new and different than your usual type, trading lots of challenging banter, and sharing scintillating chemistry — but sustaining a partnership with this person may ultimately prove to be unfulfilling. “The classic couple with nothing in common except their on-fire fights plays well in the movies, but in real life, that attraction fizzles quickly,” says Alyssa Wodtke, coauthor of Truth, Lies, and Online Dating: Secrets to Finding Romance on the Internet. “If you don’t like to do the same things, there will be nothing for you to do outside of the home. And if you don’t want the same things for the future, what kind of future can you have?” We’re not saying that you should end up with someone identical to yourself, but ideally, it should be someone who complements your personality (see the next rule for more details).

Old rule: Your date’s taste in music (or movies, or books) mirrors yours — so you must be soul mates.

ImageNew rule: You want to fall in love with a person, not a playlist.

Sometimes you meet someone and have so much in common, you just know it must be love. After all, each of you has seen Phish perform at least a dozen times and know the works of David Sedaris inside and out. But don’t confuse having mirror-image tastes with romantic chemistry. In fact, it’s probably better if your interests don’t match up exactly. Not only does that leave room for you to expand your boundaries and dabble in pursuits that your partner digs, it also means you two will probably have little trouble maintaining some healthy independence. “Some of the best relationships are those where both parties have completely independent hobbies and allow for the concept of ‘his, her and our’ time,” notes Dr. Fleming. So, take it as a good sign if you spend the occasional Saturday night apart — with you doing dips at ballroom dancing class and your date doing the wave at an NBA game, for example.

Old rule: Your first kiss should be a toe-curling experience.

New rule: Your first kiss is ultimately inconsequential.

In fairy tales, an amazing first kiss leads to happily ever after — no wonder we place such importance on that primary pucker! But there are ample reasons Imagewhy a first kiss from a potentially great partner can go awry (like nervousness or a less-than-ideal setting) — and just as many to explain why a first kiss from Mr./Ms. Wrong can feel so right (you’ve just been dumped and are looking for validation, perhaps?). “A kiss can be a romantic, erotic experience with someone you find physically attractive, but a relationship will crumble without more complex attributes, like shared values,” points out Dr. Piers. So rather than write someone off following a less-than-mindblowing kiss, smile and move in slowly for smooch number two — either at that moment or on a subsequent date. Trust us, you owe it to yourselves.

Old rule: When it’s true love, you think about the other person constantly.

ImageNew rule: When it’s true love, thinking about the other person makes you feel good.

Hmm, has Willie Nelson’s cover of “Always on My Mind” become the theme song for how you feel about your sweetie? That may not be for the best. “Constantly thinking about another person isn’t love, it’s infatuation, and infatuation has no correlation with being a good match,” says Dr. Fleming. Ultimately, it’s a better gauge to assess the quality of your thoughts rather than the quantity. “If you have warm and comfortable feelings when you think about your date, that indicates a relationship built on stability, trust and a strong ‘friendship’ factor, denoting a relationship that will more likely wear well over time,” says Dr. Piers. If, on the other hand, your relationship keeps you up all night as you analyze this person’s emails for hidden messages that reveal his or her true feelings, you may be chasing down someone who doesn’t really want to be yours.

Article written by : Nina Malkin

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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30-Things-To-Stop-Doing-To-Yourself2Marc and Angel, two passionate writers, life-hackers and “admirers of the human spirit,” have come up with an amazing list of 30 things to stop doing to yourself. If you like their list, make sure you check out their site and sign up to their amazing newsletter.

#1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

#3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

#8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

#11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

#12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

#13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

#14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

#15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

#16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

#17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

#18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

#19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

#20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

#21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

#22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

#23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

#24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

#25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

#26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

#27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

#28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

#29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

#30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Credit: marcandangel.com

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Warm Regards,

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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One of the funniest lines I ever heard about dating was something Chris Rock once said:   “When you date…have you ever notice when you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their “representative”. Then after a about 3 months you meet the REAL Candidate”

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Dear Gail:

I wanted to give you some background on me, and possible you could give me some advice. I have been in the “dating” world for the last 10-years now, and I have not much luck keeping a man in my life for more than a 3-month relationship. Various reasons for this, all BS, but reasons nonetheless — or excuses rather. For example some of the breakup excuses have been:
“You are too good to be with a jerk like me.” (huh?)
“I respect you too much to be dating you casually.” (Did I say I wanted a serious relationship!??)
“You are the type I would take home to my mom, and right now I just want to get laid.” (dude, I never said I wanted to meet your mom!)
“How can you want to date me knowing it’s not going to last? What is the point?” (Urrr…nothing lasts forever, and whatever happened to enjoying the present?)
“I am scared of commitment.” (I don’t want to marry you!)
“It’s not you, it’s me.” (One of my all time favorites)

I’ve had the  “I’m really still in love with my ex” thing, The mutual break-up “you know …we like each other but not enough to keep dating” this one is one of  the cleanest cut ways out.

However, what might be interesting to note is that all these guys went on to have serious relationships after me. I don’t know what to think of that, and maybe I rather not think about it at all.
Maybe I was too easy to catch.

Maybe I shouldn’t have played those stupid games that everyone plays.

Maybe I gave too much too soon.

Maybe I didn’t give enough.

Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten involved with each other in the first place.

Who knows?

It seems like the minute it’s more painful than fun, you get out.

But, when the pattern repeats itself on numerous occasions, repeats you can’t help but wonder.

Anyway, below are the thought process I have held onto that has help me deal with this 3 month cycle of dating:
– You can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to: if someone doesn’t want to be with you there is no convincing him into it.
– It’s all about personal growth: whether in or out of an involvement with someone, as long as you’ve grown in some way (together or apart), it was worth it.
– Nobody dies of a broken heart: you fall, you get up, you dust off, you move on.
– Everything happens for a reason.

Someone once told me that you attract what you are ready for.

Maybe subconsciously this is all I have ever been ready for?

A short- term relationship ready for the moment?

Or, have I been missing something to prevent the long term commitment I am seeking?

Single forever?

“Sam”

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Dear Sam,

To avoid finding yourself in this situation, I am going to tell you loudly to STOP what you are doing and step back s-l-o-w-l-y. Dating goes through stages. If you try to avoid one of the stages, problems may develop in the relationship, which may result in you or your partner ending the relationship. When you recognize what stage of dating the relationship is in, you will understand what is called for or needed in order to move through that stage and onto the next stage.

It requires patience and understanding.

Month One: The Meeting

The purpose of stage one is to determine if there is enough physical attraction, chemistry, commonality and interest to warrant dating. For some people, it may take a couple of meetings to determine if they want to date a particular person. Decision to continue will come as long as both parties find each other interesting and fun to be with, and physically attracted to.

Month Two: Dating

Month two is the romantic stage and during this stage both of you want to spend increasingly amounts of time together. People often describe this stage as feeling physically attracted or infatuated with the other person. Because two people are having fun and really attracted to each other. Sometimes they tend to overlook those cute irritants (I call it Rose Color Glasses) of their partner in order to focus on the strong attraction and the positive feelings. But… without this stage of intense infatuation, a relationship can’t move on to the next stage. So if you and your partner are on two different pages with regard to your feelings for each other, it is best for you to be patient and wait for you partner to catch up. Doing this demonstrates to your partner that you are caring, patient and supportive. Too needy or too distance will drive the person further away.

Month Three: The “RELATIONSHIP”

Month three is where differences between the couple begin coming to the surface and it’s usually means make or BREAK in relationship.  Now the focuses are on how the two of you work through disagreements, differences of opinions and ideas as well as different approaches and issues about sex, communication and commitment. It is also an opportunity to both learn and use problem-solving skills with your partner. Arguing in a relationship is not the problem. The problem arises when couples don’t know or use healthy skills to resolve conflict. Stage three is also an opportunity to build a deeper relationship with your partner as each of you recognizes that you are loved and accepted for being your true self. This is where trust develops in a relationship.

Month Six: Independence and Interdependence

Month six is a when the couple learns how to be a couple and still maintain a level of independence within the relationship. During this period of time the couple begins to incorporate their previous relationships skills and fun interests into the couple relationship. For some people the fear of their partner wanting to socialize without them, triggers feelings of insecurity, or fear of an imminent ending to the relationship. If this is the case, the partner with the insecurity does not address his or her own issues, the result maybe unintended break-up. Of course there could be dozens of other reasons too, that why “dating is about discovery”.

One Year: Healthy Commitment

If you reach the one year stage is where the individuals are willing to make decisions about a long term commitment with one another. By now hopefully the couple has built a foundation on trust, honesty and integrity. For some this may lead to marriage for others this means being in a monogamous relationship.

Since you have trouble moving on past the third month, my suggestion to you is to slow down and allow your boyfriend time to realize his feelings for you are deeper than just friends. This won’t happen by you pointing it out to him. It will happen by him going through the stages at his own pace.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Will this be your year to find LOVE?

Image

I love New Years Eve, its a time for renewal, clean slate, new beginnings.

But being single, there is so much expectation when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. The pressure on single people is even stronger to make it a big night. As a single person, you want to leave the past year of heartbreak and romantic misfortunes behind, and see all the possibilities of having a successful new year finding love thinking, “this is going to be MY year.”

Secretly, though, many singles dread the thought of standing alone at the stroke of midnight yet again.

When I first became single again after over 20 years of being married, I had great stress and anxiety over finding something to do on New Year’s Eve, so I wouldn’t have to spend it alone. What to do on New Years, or with whom on New Years Eve, was not a problem when I was younger, married, and raising small children.

First New Years Eve party as a single person was awkward. As the clock got closer to midnight and we all grabbed our champagne toast, I thought about how I was going to scooping out the room, and try to engage a conversation with someone cute within the last five seconds left. Just in time to create that magical moment at twelve. But with way too much expectations which lead to disappointments at 12:01 am, I was ready to go home as if I made it through to the finish line. Another new year’s party, next year I will find him.

Looking back now I know that my efforts weren’t about kissing someone at midnight, but about the deep desire to belong and be a part of the couple world again. My mind would trick me to believe that if I kissed someone at midnight that I would somehow be normal and not a big loser without a date or a partner. I exaggerated what New Year’s meant and how others perceived me if I was alone.

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, and just concern about being alone for the holidays can be emotional. The kiss at midnight on New Years, becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety?

All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and be loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this New Year’s Eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter of your life can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience.  The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter who says “its so hard being single and dating, everyone is crazy” or you can listen to the cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random New Year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

 

Join us for a

GRAND Gala New Years Celebration for Singles 12/31/13

CLICK HERE for all details on PARTY for NEW YEARS

and for our seminar “THE NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR! “

for solid advice from 8 top experts for making this year BETTER!

1/16/14 – NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR Details

Bring NEW LOVE and Romance New Year ~

Life Coach ~ Speaks on “Boost your self esteem”

Nutritionist ~ on “eat thinner/ healthier”

and more … a total of 10 experts!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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Will this be your year to find LOVE?

There is so much expectation when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. The pressure on single people is even stronger to make it a big night. As a single person, you want to leave the past year of heartbreak and romantic misfortunes behind, and see all the possibilities of having a successful new year finding love thinking, “this is going to be MY year.”

Secretly, though, they dread the thought of standing alone at the stroke of midnight yet again.

When I first became single again after over 20 years of being married, I had great stress and anxiety over finding something to do on New Year’s Eve so I wouldn’t have to spend it alone. What to do or with whom on New Years Eve was not a problem when I was younger and married, and raising small children.

First New Years Eve party as a single person was awkward. As the clock got closer to midnight and we all grabbed our champagne toast, I thought about  scooping out the room and engaging conversation with someone cute with five seconds left just in time to create that magical moment at twelve. But with way too much expectations which lead to disappointments at 12:01 am, I was ready to go home as if I made it through to the finish line. Another new year’s party, next year I will find him.

Looking back now I know that my efforts weren’t about kissing someone at midnight, but about the deep desire to belong and be a part of the couple world again. My mind would trick me to believe that if I kissed someone at midnight that I would somehow be normal and not a big loser without a date or a partner. I exaggerated what New Year’s meant and how others perceived me if I was alone.

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, and just concern about being alone for the holidays can be emotional. The kiss at midnight on New Years, becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety? All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and be loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this New Year’s Eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter of your life can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience.  The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter who says “its so hard being single and dating, everyone is crazy” or you can listen to the cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random New Year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Join us for a

GRAND Gala New Years Celebration for Singles 12/31/12 CLICK HERE for all details

and for our seminar “THE NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR! ”

for solid advice from 8 top experts for making this year BETTER!

1/3/13 – NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR Details

Bring NEW LOVE and Romance New Year ~

Life Coach ~ Speaks on “Boost your self esteem”

Nutritionist ~ on “eat thinner/ healthier”

Feng Shui – how to arrange your home for better health, happiness and new energy and space to allow a life partner to enter !

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

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I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why does this relationship appears to be only about SEX !

How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply enlighten you of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he will be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair!

Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell (or beg you) it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day shows up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty?

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel. THAT works both ways for MEN and WOMEN

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust firs t. You are worth it !

But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl Just think of  all the drama I am saving you from  those crazy stalking women that will follow you, if you go too far too soon, and then you decide you want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Energy flows where attention goes

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want? 

Are you giving your attention to what you have 

or to what you don’t have? 

Are you focusing on abundance or lack? 

Energy flows where attention goes! 

SO many times I struggle to listen on the phone to the negative energy and beliefs of the singles out there that feel there is no one. YET they sign up for an event, say I will try, only to give up after only one event attended! Boy am I glad Thomas Edison or the Wright Brothers didn’t think this way!  We all have the power to change our love lives no matter if you are STUCK  in a bad relationship or OUT and can’t find one. It all starts with Gratitude. If we can pay attention to what IS WORKING  in our lives, pay attention to those that DO LOVE US ,  we will suddenly start to see the way out.

I once read in a book by Deepak Chopra – “I bought a Volkswagen, and before I bought a Volkswagen, I hardly ever saw one on the road. Now that I own one, it has become what I pay attention to.  EVERYWHERE I see Volkswagons! Where before I never noticed them”

Are you giving your attention to what you want 

or to what you don’t want?

Every here someone say I am a Man Jerk Magnet! They seem to be attracted to me! Or for guys… I seem to attract all the crazy women out there.

Ask yourself …. am I paying too much attention to what I DON’T want?

Another one that drives me crazy… There are no good men out there… where are all the men? or from the guys… Are there any NORMAL  women out there? I can’t find a good women

Are you focusing on abundance or lack?

My answer to that is HECK YES there are 1000’s of Great Guys and Gal especially living on Long Island are you kidding me? We are a short distance from NYC with millions and there are millions living right here on Long Island!  Trust me, there is no lack of singles  bt if this is what you have decided to focus on I guess your right. No one out there in the vast millions of singles

So start small with your changes- but do make the adjustments and start with BELIEVING it is possible.

Gail Adams- Event CoordinatorPersonal Matchmaking Services

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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OK so its Valentines Day

Personally I think Valentine ’s day may have started with good intentions as a day to celebrate love, but nowadays it has become another day to guilt people into shopping compulsively for things that they don’t need or they don’t want to buy in order to express their love.

But for those of us that are single, this can be a rather challenging day to get through without the valentines in your face reminders of our unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic bliss with.

Being single shouldn’t be a reason to feel blue however, and neither should Valentine’s Day. Instead of letting this mostly commercially-fueled holiday drag you down, why not celebrate being single?

Instead of focusing on what you “don’t have” concentrate on what you DO have, celebrate love! For example maybe you are blessed with a loving family,  a sister/ brother you are close to. Your children who love you or fun faithful friends! Spend time with the family and friends in your life that love you at maybe a coffee shop, book store, anywhere but the restaurants packed with both happy and unhappy couples going through the motions!

Remember, when you are single, it doesn’t mean you need to feel ashamed. Whether you are, or are not, in a relationship doesn’t say anything about who you are as a person.

AND if you don’t want to be single, this is a perfect time to reflect on why you are single, and what you can do about it. Are you ready to start dating again? Do you know how to start a conversation with a stranger? Do you spend time in places conducive to meeting new single people?

Where to go on VALENTINES day for Singles

Tuesday Feb 14th 2012SINGLES, if this Valentine’s Day…Isn’t going your way… Come on out and meet someone in non – restaurant/bar venue for FREE! 7 in Heaven is having a special FREE SINGLES Valentines night out – at the beautiful  Dakota Design Center in Merrick

More like a open house party, this open mingle will be providing FREE Coffee/ Tea and goodies to all. (additional drinks available) Mingle with Singles from 7:30pm- 9:30pm make some new single friends or maybe a love connection! DATE MATCH CARDS to help make connections. *Not a SPEED DATING EVENT

We LOVE our singles and this special FREE event is for you!

This will be a non-structured open mingle for ALL ages, so take a chance- you have nothing to lose and see if Cupid is on target tonight!

PS: last FREE Valentines event held in Rockville Centre Book Store we had 72 singles attend!

 

SATURDAY 2/11/12 Pre-VDAY Wine Lovers Dinner Party

WINEuDESIGNHicksville ~ Suggested Ages 30 & up
Doors open at 7:00, join us for a fabulous wine tasting party hosted by a At 8pm the Chief Winemaker sommeliers will give us on a demonstration of the equipment used at the winery used to make each individual private barrel of wine we sample.
$30.00 (pre-paid) /
$35 CASH at doorincludes
LOTS of free wine samples
, wine making demo, DJ Dance Music, Raffle prizes with icebreaker game,  
Appetizers
– Vegetables, Cheeses, meats, olives, bread
Dinner
– Chicken, Meatballs and Pasta dish
Desserts
– Fruit & Cakes and CHOCOLATES. Coffee & soft drinks available too.
Several Give-away PRIZES !
Complimentary BEER, or unlimited Soda for non-wine drinkers.
*Not a speed Dating event-

$5 bring a friend! $25.00CLICK HERE to apply (*Bring a friend discount on PRE-PAID only)

Contact – 7-IN-HEAVEN SPEED DATING & SINGLES EVENTS
631 592 9804       Email: INFO@7-IN-HEAVEN.COM
WEB Site- www.7-in-heaven.com

 

 

ALSO… try these events…

Our Ladies Brunch – to make new single friends (held every 1st Sunday of the month)  FEB 5th in Nassau at RJ Daniels in Rockville Centre  and March 11th in East Islip BEECHTREE

and our Dating Workshops– Held every 3rd Thursday of the month at the Marriott in Plainview Feb 17th topic – Flirting 101

are great places to get started with your new journey!

 

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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Do you Hate to date?

Have you ever said this out loud or to yourself?

Well at our last interactive Workshop held Oct 20, 2011 – Topic – the laws of attractions ~ how to attract the right one, just saying or even THINKING this way put up road blocks to successfully finding the right person!

How is that?

Well our mentor EUGENIA KARAHALIAS explained:

What you think about ~ you bring about! FEELINGS then attached to your thoughts then fuel it. Let is go…any negative beliefs you may have, work everyday toward being Grateful for what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. Say YES to life and LIFE says YES to you!

So…how can we figure out what we need to change so we can bring about all this good stuff Eugenia is talking about? Lets start with figuring out what kind of DATER you are! Then we can work on possible solutions…

Which DATER are YOU?

1. Procrastinator I’ll start dating next month, next year, when I lose weight, when I fix myself, when my kids grow up, and so on.

2. Worrier I’m afraid of rejection. Online dating is dangerous. If I go to an event I won’t know anyone, I am afraid of someone raping, kidnapping, or killing me.

 

3. Skeptic There is no use in trying. There is no one out there for me. I will never meet anyone. Women are all Bitches. Men suck. Most of the guys are not worth my time.

4. Beginner I don’t know the first thing about dating, and I am not ready to put myself out there.

The above questions came from : Berndt, Debra (2010). Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner (p. 178). Wiley. Kindle Edition.

Once you can identify which one you are…it will be easier for you to work towards improving your success with dating.

Procrastinators – well you may have this problem in other areas of your life and as you may have already figured out, life will pass you right by if you don’t make a decision to get to it right now!

Worriers need to try to break it down a bit. Learning to let go more, understand we can’t control all outcomes but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Many times we hear only the negatives and believe that this makes up the majority of the dating pool …NOT SO! Just like you.. there are millions of honest, loving singles out there..and less BAD GUYS then you think looking and searching as you read this right now.

Skeptic ah yes.. Guilty of this one myself, you must work hard everyday to be grateful, what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. This will keep the “boomerang” effect of the universes laws of attraction coming back to bite you in the ____

Beginners– This one is easy! Come on out to our events and see for yourself you have nothing to loose. Remember how scary it was learning to drive? And how thrilling it was to pass that drivers test? ( I was going to use the learning to ride a bicycle.. but for some of us that was a VERY long time ago) Anyway, when you attend your first event this will be the feeling you should walk away with. I DID IT! Wow, that wasn’t so hard after all in fact I HAD FUN!

So I hope to see you at an event soon … ALL of you Procrastinators, Worriers, Skeptics, and Beginners!

Check the online Calendar of Events

And just come on out, you’ll never know unless you GO!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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Have you ever found yourself in the company of a professional dater? Also called the “serial dater” or “player” ?  When you meet them, they will tell you that they really don’t warm up to a lot of people, but they feel such a connection with you and would like to get to know you better. SO you meet for coffee, and wow, they think you’re the next best thing since sliced bread!

They chat you up on instant messenger or TEXT constantly for a couple of weeks and then bam, nothing. And then you find out, they’ve practiced the same line on a friend of yours who’s new on the online dating scene when you exchange notes with your friend and realize you’ve met a serial dater. He or She is dating about 3-6 times a week (depending on how good a juggler they are)

The Urban Dictionary describes the “serial dater” as:

One who engages in the process of systematically dating an obscene amount people in short span of time. This definition encompasses but is not limited to internet dating, bar dating, long distance flirtations, phone service dating, blind dating, expiration dating, match making, one night stands, friends with benefits, and personal ad surfing. Can be considered a politically correct alternative to word “player” both with and without a negative connotation.

Deep down you might find that the serial dater is actually someone who feels like they always need a boyfriend or girlfriend. Often, serial daters believe they are in love after dating for two days. These relationships usually last for about two weeks, followed by much moping and heartbreak until the next guy or girl comes along two days later, at which point the cycle begins again. These people are often insecure and need another person to boost their self-esteem.

Where do you meet them?

Online dating sites make it a piece of cake to be a serial dater. Many men and women get addicted to these sites always thinking that the BIG PRIZE CATCH is just another click away. Serial daters are like hungry ghosts always on the move, never satisfied and never settling. They are not bad people, they are just restless souls who are seeking love and really don’t have an ulterior motive of using and taking like the “player” does.

“Players” have an agenda and a motive of getting involved for a reason (sex or money) and consciously tells you what you want to hear, to get you to that place… then leave you.

The Bachelor hunk Jake Pavelka has juggled 25 bachelorettes, weeding out 21 to leave him with a final four, but the pilot admits that serial dating just isn’t his thing.

Here is a list of some of the traits/characteristics of a typical serial dater :

1.         Professionals, established over forty, and has never been married.

2.         Make claims that he wants to settle down and get married but the truths is he has not never been in a committed relationship that last over two years.

3.         The first few dates may be fantastic, but soon he simply stops calling (or she won’t answer your calls) without even a break-up notice.

4.         They are charming but can never seem to be able to achieve psychological intimacy (although he has no problem getting you into bed with him).

5.         Loves to talk about his work above all other topics.  The reason behind this is that they are married to their jobs, which is why they aren’t married to a person).

6.         They always know the latest buzz on where the trendy bars and restaurants are– often even before they are open (the serial dater is always more excited to be seen at hot spots than spending time with someone he could potentially share his life with).

7.          They prefer to spend their weekends alone or with their buddies and have no interest in seeing you except the weekdays.

If you see a number of these traits popping up… keep your feet planted firmly on the ground. Don’t run away with your thoughts, and if needed, move on quickly.

The bottom line is that, sometimes, we all may allow ourselves to be taken in by people who are more into the dating game than seeking out “the one”.

Remember to not take it personal and never lose faith that the majority of us are good honest people just looking for the real deal.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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A new single client called me and explaned she was newly singles and would like to find alternative ways to meet singles rather then the bar scene.  We briefly went over 7 in Heaven’s Current Calendar of Events and when she realized this particular weekend, was not either too far from her home, or not in her age group…

She went on to say….

I know it may not be in your best interest to suggest other things to do, as I know you run this great singles organization with a ton of things to do, but could you possibility suggest of any other ways to meet singles?

I said  “SURE!

There are many ways to meet new single friends not just at single events or online dating! And no…I am not afraid or concerned about you knowing where or what else to do beside my singles events!”

Yes…we do have a jammed packed calendar of events, but sometimes it still won’t fit every single persons agenda or location for every weekend.

I have always told my clients never to put all your eggs in one basket.

Try everything!

Single events, online dating, let your friends try to setting you up on blind dates, join clubs, talk to strangers in the store (I know your momma told your otherwise, but trust me, its ok now and will open new doors! )

So where can you find these clubs to join?

Well a really good place to start online is http://www/MEETUP.com

There you will find just about everything that interests you! Like to learn how to fly a stunt kite? There is a club for you! How about hiking? Or Bike riding? Dance Lessons? There are hundreds of “meetup” groups to join and to check out. Now … not everyone in many of the groups will be single, BUT don’t let that stop you from going alone! Many couples are very happy to suggest their single neighbor to introduce you to, or maybe it will just be a fun day out for you not alone. With no pressure of having expectations of meeting someone!

Another great way to get out there and make some great new friends is doing Volunteer or attending Charity events!

There are countless charities around that would love for you to offer your time. Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home for a warm fuzzy feeling that you can share together.

During the Holiday season everyone thinks of doing charity work, but what about now? People need help all year round and for those singles that are dealing with a recent death or breakup / separation the transition of making these life changing experiences can be challenging.
Best simple suggestion to help you feel a little better during this adjustment period is Volunteer / Donate to help those less fortunate.

Check out: Island Harvest or Singles for Charities

There you will find a good start to find places and activities to volunteer while making some new friends that will stimulate and amuse you. And if you think about it, those that are caring and willing to give without expecting in return are exactly the kind of people you would like to date! Not everyone you meet will be single but so what?  It’s all about “networking” that may open new doors, leading you to new single people!

And speaking of networking…

Networking itself is another great way to meet people.

What is networking?

It’s a free social event to bring small business owners, entrepreneurs, sales people or non-profit organizations together to help each other.

(Some organizations do have membership fees)

Maybe you have a hobby or talent you would like to promote? Promoting that talent or hobby works at networking too!

I belong to 2 groups in particular that I found to be welcoming and friendly making it easy to be comfortable with everyone.

Long Island Entrepreneurs run by Yvonne

516 / 631 Ads and Networking run by David

Doing many different things to expand your world while seeking a new partner will make any search shorter because time flies while you are having a good time.

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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One of my clients had a long distance relationship and hadn’t seen her ex boyfriend in over eight months. She kept going on and on, telling me she couldn’t get him out of her mind. How the relationship had ended, he has moved on but she could not.

I kept telling her that it is important to get on with her life now. She refused and asked me why, maybe he will come back, change his mind…

I told her “It’s because the guy who left you, represents who you were, the moment you met him. And that was well over a year ago.”

Let me explain what I’m talking about. Because you might not be familiar with this concept from the “law of attraction” …

Every person you meet represents the ”you” and who you are at the moment you met him.

He is the reflection of your inner self.

If you want only money, life might send you a heartless millionaire who can provide you with financial resources.

And when you honestly fall for him, and ask why he is not able to love you back, brace yourself for the answer – it’s because of the money you wanted so much in the first place.

If you wanted sex at that moment, life would have sent you a sex machine to satisfy you.

LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE!

If you succeed in getting him back into your life, strap on your seat belt because now your life will be an emotional roller coaster with more ups and downs than the stock market.

Every person we attract into our lives is there for a reason. They teach us things at particular time in our lives for our growth as human beings.

If today you met your best friend for the very first time (the same best friend you met in reality ten years ago) you may not have anything in common – you may not even like each other.

Why?

Because today, you are not the same person you were ten years ago when you met your best friend and you needed him or her and they needed you too. You gave each other what was needed to be given at that time, but now have formed a bond and respect for each other, so you are still friends today.

Don’t look for the future in your past, the future is in the future.

When you break a vase, you gather all the pieces together and glue them back in place like a puzzle. But as soon as you pour water into the vase, it will start leaking.

A broken relationship is just like a broken vase.

Check out some new vases, the flowers will look better and bloom longer!

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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A few weeks ago, we talked about how being a cheapskate isn’t pretty and won’t win you over. However, dating during these tough economic times can be expensive. Below are some great new date ideas you can do for $20 or less! They will still impress without having to overdraw your bank account. Yes, it’s the thought that counts!

1.  Hit the great outdoors
Nature offers us so many places to enjoy a lot of the time for no charge whatsoever. Take her to the beach for some fun in the sun, or a short hike through a local reserve, or a bike ride enjoyed by a stream or waterfall. Pair this with a simple picnic basket prepared and you will have won her over. Try the Massapequa preserves to Bethpage park for bike riding, Muttontown Preserves for a great nature walk. Jones Beach is great with it’s boardwalk or any of the town ocean beaches along ocean parkway after 5pm free to park. Cedar and Overlook in the town of Babylon and Eastern Suffolk Beaches have live bands at The Beach Huts

2. Play chef for the night
The internet is full of free recipes from every corner of the globe. Find out what type of cuisine she or he likes best and plan to cook something that will excite. You can share the total experience by cooking together and enjoy the fruits of your labor, or do it by yourself and treat them like a queen (or prince) and make it a surprise!

*Try this out on date number #3 or more…

It might be a bit too forward to invite her over on the first date!

Check out: Romantic Date Recipes and Tips for Cooking for a DATE

Or good old Betty Crocker Dinner made easy

3. Get some culture
Many Long Island towns have free events especially over the weekends and in the evenings. Art Shows, Book Readings, Street Theatre and Comedy Shows are just some easy to find entertainment ideas.

Try checking this site Life on Long Island to see what current Art, Street Festivals, Comedy and other events are happening on LI.

For a great coffee/culture date try The Witches Brew in W. Hempstead, Pisces Cafe in Babylon or the Tic Toc Cafe in St. James, both are very artsy / bohemia or The CUP Coffeehouse in Wantagh which has live music on WED, FRI and SAT, Psychic readers on Mondays and Art displays and book readings. Check the schedule.

4. Be do-gooders
There are countless charities around that would love for you to offer your time. Volunteer at the local animal shelter or nursing home for a warm fuzzy feeling that you can share together. Check out: Island Harvest or Long island Charities Events

5. Reinvent the movies
If its possible, try moving your TV out of your living room or your lap top computer and into a new environment like the patio! Grab a DVD and you can be sharing popcorn and a fantastic night with your date enjoying a movie under the stars in your garden.

*Again… better for a 2nd or 3rd date before inviting back to your place.

6. Satisfy her sweet tooth
Girls love chocolate. You can make it an adventure to discover some quaint dessert or candy stores. A cupcake or cookies whilst sitting in your local park is a cheap and easy way to impress. Or how about some ice cream?

Try Newsday’s page on Where to get great Icecream or Best LI Chocolate Shops and best cupcake-boutiques on long island

7. Board games
Most of us were brought up with board games in the pre internet/ Nintendo/ Playstation era. Playing Scrabble, Checkers and Monopoly often brings back fun memories of summer break and school holidays. Plus it gives you face to face interaction!

*Warning: be careful not to scare her if you have an ultra competitive personality.

Play at your place or try meeting at a Panera Bread

8. Take a tour of a local brewery or winery
Many wineries are set in beautiful green vineyards and offer free wine tastings. This is the picturesque backdrop to a perfect afternoon.

Martha Clara Vineyards Riverhead – this is a favorite of mine, they have very creative special events on the weekends and weekdays very inexpensive too!

PINDAR LI North Folk  Peconic – Saturday and Sunday afternoons from Memorial Day weekend until the end of October, bring a picnic lunch and enjoy live music overlooking the vineyards. Music begins at 1:00 and ends at 5:00; pavilion closes at 6:00.

Blue Point Brewery of Patchogue – Beer Brewing Tours and Tasting Sat 12pm – 7pm

And if you are in search of someone to take on a special date, don’t forget about SPEED DATING which is also a relatively cheap way of meeting multiple people with minimal costs. Check our Current Schedule for an event in your age group and location.

It just goes to show that when it comes to fun dating ideas, a little planning and imagination can go a long way to impress.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why this relationship appears to be only about SEX ! How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply make you aware of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he would be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair! Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell you it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day show up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty? !

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel.

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust first. You are worth it you hot mamma!  But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl and I save you from all that drama of the crazy stalking that will follow you if you go too far too soon and then want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food dinner. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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This week on Thursday 2/25 we held our “Flirting 101” workshop for Dating Success Simplified. And I think what we learned was:

Flirting is the ultimate welcome and very easy to give to someone.

When you flirt with someone, you are telling him or her that they are welcome in your world. To be welcomed is a gift and far more meaningful than it appears on the surface.

One of the oldest traditions of mankind is the welcome.

In every time and culture in history, the “welcome” has been a huge part of the social interactions, both small and great.

Welcoming others is a time-honored tradition, which enters many areas of our lives. The best companies know this and make a point of welcoming us when we visit their businesses. We buy welcome mats for our homes; we say “you’re welcome” in our everyday speech.

Those who know how to make others feel welcomed are the most loved and sought-after companions.

On the other hand, not feeling welcome – especially for a man – is a huge rejection. It’s the quickest kiss of death for any potential relationship.

When we don’t feel welcome somewhere, we immediately want to leave. As the saying goes, “I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.” An ego can be a fragile thing when not handled with care and affection.

Flirting is the ultimate welcome.

What exactly is it to welcome someone?

It is to give someone your attention, and tell them that you are happy to have met them and be with them.

Some of the most seemingly unapproachable men can suddenly become very appealing and sexy indeed when inspired by a little flirting – because they suddenly feel noticed and welcomed.

The key to successful flirting is to keep it light, casual, and playful.

But its also equally important to know when to flirt and know when not to!
Don’t get me wrong – I am all for “assertive” flirting, not to be mistaken with “aggressive” flirting.  It all has to be done in such a way that the other person does not see you as “aggressive”.

I know… “aggressive” is a loaded word that means different things to different people.  I prefer the word assertive, and many men and women love when someone is assertive in flirting and paying attention to them.

But the bottom line is never be fearful of trying.

Go after what you want!

Playing it safe will never win anyone over.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

OK so sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, or maybe because of them – (trying too hard) things do not always go the way we want them to.

That’s ok too, its all part of the process.

Just it let go.

What is to be is to be, and what is not to be, is not.

If you run into a situation where you find yourself in a “dead end” after trying to be playful / flirty with some, its ok! Don’t freak out.

Just use some charm, and maybe some humor too, you will find it will never steer you wrong in the long haul.

Trust yourself that you will instinctively know just how far to “push” with anyone.

Here’s some links to tips on Flirting for both men and women:

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy

http://www.cosmogirl.com/guys/guide-to-guys/flirt-like-you-mean-it

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-With-a-Pretty-Girl

http://www.wikihow.com/Physically-Flirt-with-a-Girl

http://www.ehow.com/how_2324598_via-text-message-easy-steps.html

OK so now you need to go out and practice your flirting skills!

Try them out on strangers in the grocery store, the laundry mat, on the LIRR, or at the mall. Hey… even if you make a mistake, you most likely won’t see them again anyway! AND you will be that much more practiced and ready when you go to a singles event.

*Next Flirting workshop will be Thursday 4/22 place TBD


All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Just as Jim Ryan spoke about yesterday at our Valentines Book Mingle for Singles, at the Village Bookshoppe in Rockville Centre, being HAPPY is a choice.

*Here is a Link to Jim’s web site to check that book out “SIMPLE HAPPINESS”…

There are also so many ways we seem to get stuck in a rut and staying unhappy:

For example…maybe you started wearing a permanent ponytail because you’re just too tired to do anything different with your hair in the morning.

Or you find yourself eating a chicken Caesar salad every day for lunch because you can’t think of anything else to make.

Maybe you are sticking it out at a job you despise because looking for a new career seems too overwhelming.

And here’s one we singles can ALL relate to:

Getting down on your dating life (or relationship) because you think that no dates/lousy dates/fighting/not getting your needs met…[insert your scenario here] is the best that you deserve or is just your fate.

Well guess what?

YOU DESERVE LOVE AND HAPPINESS BEYOND MEASURE.

You are NOT fated to be lonely or unfulfilled. And the sooner you get out
of your dating rut, the sooner you can start experiencing the kind of love that is available to you ! Ruts can be broken with just a simple change of your mindset.

Just looking at being single from a different perspective can immediately rejuvenate and re-energize you to take action to do something DIFFERENT… and even small shifts in attitude can cause immediate positive results!

Take a look at your dating life or relationship. Are you stuck in a rut today? Whether you’re facing an emotional, physical, or spiritual block, you CAN get out of it AND experience the satisfaction, love and fulfillment you’ve always wanted.

And getting out and participating at our single events will help!

Today, I’m sharing an INSPIRATION STORY from a real women who experienced life-changing results from a simple shift in attitude.

It is my sincere hope that her email will inspire you to believe that you CAN get out of your dating rut and seize the happiness you truly deserve.

********************************************************************

“Dear Gail,

If you recall- when I first got divorced and contacted you, I was the one that you told to not make every singles event a man mission… to not put all my eggs in one basket, get out there after my divorce, do different activities… learn new things.


SO I took your advice, I used a lot of my new found idle time, and did take some classes, tried new things I was passionate about and I started to feel fulfilled and happier. And just as I really started to get comfortable with my singleness, guess what happened?

I met a guy. I mean I met THE guy.

When I first starting attending your events, I’d been doing online dating for more than a year and a half, with only a few half-hearted coffee dates to show for it. No keepers and some losers, but it was all experience anyway.

I started to attend your events in Nov.2009, and meeting singles in person, attending several different kinds of fun events with my new attitude/ outlook about being single. Whatever happens … happens..

And guess what happened a couple of months ago? I ran into a gentlemen I had met at one of your events. Normally I would not have felt comfortable in chatting with a guy I just met, but because we had met at one of your events already, I felt comfortable.  I really started to see him in a different light, and had a hunch about him, he was someone special. He asked if he could call me and now we have been dating since December now, and have discovered we are made for each other! He totally understands and loves that I’m busy with my own projects, and because both of us know we have the rest of our lives to do all the stuff we want to (no rush). I’ve never been happier – we totally fit together in the easiest of ways. . He is gorgeous (he doesn’t even know it) and 5 times as beautiful on the inside.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for holding these events and your support. That $38 bucks I spent at your last Speed Dating event changed my life so much that words cannot express how grateful I feel.

Thank you!

“M”

**************************************************************

And a very grateful THANK YOU “M” and all those singles out there that take the time to share their stories!

PS – Got a friend that needs some encouragement?
Forward this blog – they’ll thank you for it!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Ok ladies and gents, let’s all be honest…

LADIES…when a guy you’re not interested in…asks you out, have you ever
gave him this line: ”oh sorry, I have a boyfriend”

When in fact, what you REALLY were thinking was:

Hey I haven’t had a date in a month, but why break my slump for a loser
like you?

Or GENTLEMEN maybe a lady friend hinted around that you should go out on a
real date and you answered:

Oh I don’t think it would be a good idea to date, it would ruin our
friendship

But what you REALLY were thinking was:

Hey you are a great gal, too bad you’re not better looking or I would
totally date you.

I get countless emails and had many conversations from singles that complain
on BOTH sides from men and women saying:

I don’t get itthey seemed interested, yet I haven’t
heard from them or they never called or answered the phone!

Well for all those newly dating again or the very dazed and confused,
I would like to share with you a list of 20 of the most frequently used
“dating lines” and their simple translation.

Feel free to write in any I may have missed or if you disagree/agree with any
of this I wrote about!

READY? OK here we go:


1. CAN I TAKE YOU OUT FOR A DRINK?

Translation: I don’t want to commit to a complete dinner
and date with you, so let’s start out with a happy hour first.

2. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING FUN PLANNED FOR THE WEEKEND?

Translation: I don’t want a date with you this weekend

3. SORRY, I ALREADY HAVE PLANS BUT MAYBE WE COULD CATCH UP WITH EACH
OTHER LATER ON ?

Translation:
Booty call

4. I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO MEET MY FAMILY AND OR FRIENDS

Translation: I really do like you, there
are possibilities here.

5. I DON’T EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED OR LIVE WITH ANYONE

Translation: I don’t want to get married, so if you are
looking for something serious move on, don’t waste your time on me.

6.
I KNOW IT’S 2AM BUT I CAN’T GET YOU OFF MY MIND

Translation: Booty call

7. I NEED SOME ALONE TIME

Translation:
This relationship is getting way to intense, and I’m freaking out

8. I’VE TOLD MY FAMILY/FRIENDS SO MUCH ABOUT YOU

Translation: I’m really into you, can’t stop talking
about you

9.
I REALLY SHOULD GET GOING NOW I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY FOR WORK

Translation: This date isn’t going well, I’m going to
meet up with some friends as soon as I ditch you.

10. I’M REALLY NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW, BUT I WOULD
LOVE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU

Translation
for women:
I don’t want to be your boyfriend, but I will sleep with
you

Translation
for men:
I don’t want to be your girlfriend, but I will let you spend
your money on me for dates.

11. IT’S NOT YOU… IT’S ME

Translation: It’s you

12. OH COME ON… LET ME BUY YOU ANOTHER DRINK OR SHOT?

Translation:
I’m trying to get you drunk to get into your pants.

13. WANT TO COME OVER FOR A DRINK?

Translation:
Let’s have sex.

14. WORK IS JUST CRAZY RIGHT NOW

Translation: I’ll call you or go out with you when I have
nothing better to do.

15. I’M AFRAID OF GETTING HURT

Translation:
I’m not going to get into anything serious with you, all I can handle
is a fling.

16. I’VE BEEN MEANING TO CALL YOU

Translation: I had no intention on calling but now that you
have, I’m busted for not calling you .

17. LET’S GO AWAY THIS WEEKEND

Translation: I don’t mind giving up that party with my
friends, want to spend some quality time together, this could be the real deal.

18. MY PLACE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION SO LET’S GO TO YOUR PLACE

Translation: I don’t want you to know where I live

Alternate Translation: I am married or have a significant
other and can’t let you see where I live.

19. YOU COULD DO BETTER THEN HER (or HIM)….!

Translation: I really like you dump your boyfriend (or
girlfriend) and go out with ME!


AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE……..



20.
I’LL CALL YOU

Translation: It really depends…have to really pay
attention

Could mean I WILL CALL YOU or

Alternate translation: I really have no intention on calling
you but this is the easiest and quickest way to get you off my back.

Gail


Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?

You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at  info@7-in-heaven.com

visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com


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