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Posts Tagged ‘Long Island Singles’

Julio sent to me recently letting me know of this connection that lead to a marriage ! Although I know of hundreds of connections, and marriages made through  7 in Heaven, not everyone takes the time to write to me and let me know how they have met someone fabulous attending my events.

Thank you to all that have done so, as your happiness, is my joy
for allowing me to know this really does work

Please keep those notes coming.

Gail

 

Hi Gail,

I thought it was worthwhile letting you know about a success story from attending one of your events in Oceanside more than 3 years ago. When people ask how we met, we still fondly recall all the details from that night.

Both me and my wife, Heather, were invited as secondary guests through our friends and after a 2.5 year courtship we married last October. Although we only attended one of your events, there was just the right connection and fortunate timing to develop into a life together.

Best wishes to you and a prosperous business.

Julio

 

—————————-

Gail Adams  Owner and Founder 

7 in Heaven Singles Events

 

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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1. Procrastinator I’ll start dating next month, next year, when I lose weight, when I fix myself, when my kids grow up, and so on.

2. Worrier I’m afraid of rejection. Online dating is dangerous. If I go to an event I won’t know anyone, I am afraid of someone raping, kidnapping, or killing me.

3. Skeptic There is no use in trying. There is no one out there for me. I will never meet anyone. Women are all Bitches. Men suck. Most of the guys are not worth my time.

4. Beginner I don’t know the first thing about dating, and I am not ready to put myself out there.

The above questions came from : Berndt, Debra (2010). Let Love In: Open Your Heart and Mind to Attract Your Ideal Partner (p. 178). Wiley. Kindle Edition.

Once you can identify which one you are…it will be easier for you to work towards improving your success with dating.

Procrastinators – well you may have this problem in other areas of your life and as you may have already figured out, life will pass you right by if you don’t make a decision to get to it right now!

Worriers need to try to break it down a bit. Learning to let go more, understand we can’t control all outcomes but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Many times we hear only the negatives and believe that this makes up the majority of the dating pool …NOT SO! Just like you.. there are millions of honest, loving singles out there..and less BAD GUYS then you think looking and searching as you read this right now.

Skeptic ah yes.. Guilty of this one myself, you must work hard everyday to be grateful, what IS going well in your life, and what you do have. This will keep the “boomerang” effect of the universes laws of attraction coming back to bite you in the ____

Beginners– This one is easy! Come on out to our events and see for yourself you have nothing to loose. Remember how scary it was learning to drive? And how thrilling it was to pass that drivers test? ( I was going to use the learning to ride a bicycle.. but for some of us that was a VERY long time ago) Anyway, when you attend your first event this will be the feeling you should walk away with. I DID IT! Wow, that wasn’t so hard after all in fact I HAD FUN!

So I hope to see you at an event soon … ALL of you Procrastinators, Worriers, Skeptics, and Beginners!

Check the online Calendar of Events

And just come on out, you’ll never know unless you GO!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why does this relationship appears to be only about SEX !

How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply enlighten you of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he will be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair!

Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell (or beg you) it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day shows up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty?

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel. THAT works both ways for MEN and WOMEN

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust firs t. You are worth it !

But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl Just think of  all the drama I am saving you from  those crazy stalking women that will follow you, if you go too far too soon, and then you decide you want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Will this be your year to find LOVE?

There is so much expectation when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. The pressure on single people is even stronger to make it a big night. As a single person, you want to leave the past year of heartbreak and romantic misfortunes behind, and see all the possibilities of having a successful new year finding love thinking, “this is going to be MY year.”

Secretly, though, they dread the thought of standing alone at the stroke of midnight yet again.

When I first became single again after over 20 years of being married, I had great stress and anxiety over finding something to do on New Year’s Eve so I wouldn’t have to spend it alone. What to do or with whom on New Years Eve was not a problem when I was younger and married, and raising small children.

First New Years Eve party as a single person was awkward. As the clock got closer to midnight and we all grabbed our champagne toast, I thought about  scooping out the room and engaging conversation with someone cute with five seconds left just in time to create that magical moment at twelve. But with way too much expectations which lead to disappointments at 12:01 am, I was ready to go home as if I made it through to the finish line. Another new year’s party, next year I will find him.

Looking back now I know that my efforts weren’t about kissing someone at midnight, but about the deep desire to belong and be a part of the couple world again. My mind would trick me to believe that if I kissed someone at midnight that I would somehow be normal and not a big loser without a date or a partner. I exaggerated what New Year’s meant and how others perceived me if I was alone.

The holidays bring a lot of pressure to the single person. Finding a date for the office party, and just concern about being alone for the holidays can be emotional. The kiss at midnight on New Years, becomes a symbol of somehow being back on top, in control of your life and lovable. I was using those random nameless guys to build myself up and the moment never really matched my romantic expectations.

What lies do you tell yourself about this time of year that brings you anxiety? All of the suffering you experience comes from within your mind. Sure, it is natural for us to want to be connected with others and be loved, but the mind can exaggerate the situation and make up images of a dreaded future of you being old and alone forever.

Instead of seeking someone random to kiss to cover up the pain, you can face the demons of your mind head on and stop believing the lies. First, start by being grateful for what you already have in your life (instead of what you don’t have yet). Then, realize that the book of your romantic life isn’t ending if you don’t have a date this New Year’s Eve but that it is just another passing chapter.

The next chapter of your life can be written as you desire. To avoid a repeat year of heartache, start to focus forward instead of looking back and refrain from seeing your situation as unchanging. You are always changing and growing anyway, so don’t resist and allow new love to flow in to your experience.  The only thing that holds you back is your own mind telling you that things aren’t going to get better. What you believe becomes your reality, so what do you want to believe?

It was my strong desire to find true love that led me on my own personal journey and ultimately the work I do today. You may not be able to predict when your true love will arrive, but you do have a choice as to how you feel in the meantime. You can listen to the cranky doubter who says “its so hard being single and dating, everyone is crazy” or you can listen to the cheerleader that tells you that true love is on the way. The doubter will give you what you have always got and settle for a random New Year’s kiss, but the cheerleader will open doors to your romantic dreams fulfilled.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Join us for a

GRAND Gala New Years Celebration for Singles 12/31/12 CLICK HERE for all details

and for our seminar “THE NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR! ”

for solid advice from 8 top experts for making this year BETTER!

1/3/13 – NEW YOU for the NEW YEAR Details

Bring NEW LOVE and Romance New Year ~

Life Coach ~ Speaks on “Boost your self esteem”

Nutritionist ~ on “eat thinner/ healthier”

Feng Shui – how to arrange your home for better health, happiness and new energy and space to allow a life partner to enter !

 

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why does this relationship appears to be only about SEX !

How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply enlighten you of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he will be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair!

Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell (or beg you) it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day shows up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty?

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel. THAT works both ways for MEN and WOMEN

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust firs t. You are worth it !

But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl Just think of  all the drama I am saving you from  those crazy stalking women that will follow you, if you go too far too soon, and then you decide you want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

So up to this point, there has not been too much

competition in the personal MATCHMAKING services for Long Island

Well that has all changed now…

Heavenly MATCH  is here on Long Island for Matchmaking  services

How many singles are here on Long Island?

Long Island is made up of a very diverse group of people.  As of the 2010, Long Island had a population of 7,568,304 making it the most populated island in any U.S. state or territory! AND in the entire USA 44.1 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older were SINGLE! So if we do our math correctly… about 333,000 residents of Long Island SINGLE.

Now you might think its easy to find someone with all these singles living in one spot right? Well think again; one person described it to me this way… Imagine you are at a big mall with thousands of people there at one time, how many of those people do you think you would get to meet personally and how many would you actually want to date?

Why would someone hire a matchmaker?

Personal matchmaking takes the tiresome legwork out of dating by outsourcing ‘the search’ for interesting, like-minded individuals that have YOUR same desires at heart. My prior years of experience and background as a head-hunting / corporate recruiter, makes me a sharp judge of character in a mate making me your Perfect Personal Liaison for LOVE!

And our sister company 7 in Heaven Singles Events is a perfect combination for networking and meeting long island singles.

We currently have over 5000 Long Island Singles as members!

What kind of individuals become exclusive clients of matchmakers?Generally most clients are upscale professionals age 28 to 40+ and looking to settle down and start a life with someone for the first time. Other clients are in their 40′s and 50′s and up, established in life, perhaps already have been married prior, and seeking to fulfill their goals of finding the right life partner for the rest of their lives.

Learn more about this new Matchmaking Service by clicking HERE

Check out our GREAT Articles on Dating Advice, Stories and Support on this blog!

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Everyone has to learn to simply just stop being so disappointed…

That’s what one single gentleman recently had to say when he heard the buzz around the room from a few overeager singles. Their expectations for the evening were way beyond reality.

YES, having desires hopes and dreams is what keeps us alive, moving and aspiring. But when you don’t keep a balance and expect too much in too little amount of time, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I often give the example that if you were to walk into Vegas for the first time, do you really think you can walk over to the first slot machine, throw in a few dollars and win BIG on the first spin?

Yes… it could happen just that way- you could win big on the first try. We all have heard stories about this. But we all know that certainly is not the average, every day occurrence.

Same goes for our search for the one.

It will happen for you, when, where and how is not in our control. What we can do is adjust the odds a bit. The more creative ways we seek to put ourselves out there, and the amount of time we are willing devote and participate meeting other single people, will greatly increase your odds of making your search a short one.

Creative and fun activities with the right mindset are a great way to pass the time, while waiting to meeting someone. Go to an event with the intention of having a good time, with a possible bonus of meeting someone. Step outside of your comfort zone and venture into some new locations. We have many new locations and types of events coming up, include SPEED DATING, Halloween party, Board Game night, Bike riding and many other ways to interact and make new single friends.

Check out our Calendar of events.

However, no one should ever expect instant results out of any singles event.

Having a variety of different ways to meet someone will help with burnout, which is what develops when we spend too much time at trying to meet someone.

That’s when you need to take a short vacation from finding the one, but don’t give up!

There is something to the old saying  “you will find it when you least expect it”

Set your intention to find someone, but don’t hold on too tightly to it.

Constantly expecting and concentrating too hard on will make you burn out, and start to feel like you’re just beating your head against a brick wall.

How to tell is you have reached the burnout point?

If you find you can’t remember the last time you went on a really good date, it’s a sign that you are getting burned out on the whole experience, or worse, that all your dates really have been bad. Either way, you probably ought to stop dating for a while to get yourself together and figure out what the problem is.

Here’s another sign you need to try something different: when all your conversations start to sound the same. It happens to everyone that dates regularly. This is because dating is a test, people judge one another, and so they find it necessary to play it safe by saying the same things or repeating the same types of dates over and over. But playing it safe doesn’t provide much stimulation.

 

Also if you have the belief system that you will never find what you’re looking for, then its time to take a step back. If the point of dating is to meet someone that you hope will be the one, that you can love and will love you, and then if you stop believing this will happen, then all of your future dates become pointless. Taking a new direction, and a new approach and hopefully help you gain some new perspective and possibly a more hopeful outlook.

If this is where you are today, don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t found the love relationship you so ardently desire. Even the best boxer in the world sometimes has to go down for the count before he can get back up and start fighting again.

Stop making decisions about whether to go to any particular event based on how many single men or women might be there. Accept your state of singleness and enjoy all the good things about it. Use this time to improve yourself, pamper yourself.

Be secure in the knowledge that you – yourself are enough and don’t need anyone else to be happy. Then when you do attend a single event you will be more attractive and confident open  (less desperate and needy) and will probably meet a great partner in no time!

All the best on your quest!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

or visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

I have had this question posed to me before from singles, when a woman who has slept with a man early on in the dating stages, suddenly discovers a week or two later…

Golly gee... why this relationship appears to be only about SEX ! How did this happen?

Or better yet, try to turn it into a REAL relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not passing any judgments here. We are all adults making our own decisions, my goal is to simply make you aware of the consequences of your actions and how things will play out from that point forward. If you decide to go home and sleep with a guy the very first date or time you meet with him, you really have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You have just made the decision to turn this into a casual night of fun, or “hookup” as some would call it, and once you have made this decision there is no turning back.

If you get a second date, well then consider it an unexpected added bonus to the casual fun night again. Don’t ever think, just because you now have slept together, you two are now property of each other. The “hookup” will never guarantee no matter how good the sex was, that he would be calling again. If that’s your ulterior motive then you just set yourself up for a major disappointment.

I know…  your saying it’s not fair! Well I didn’t make the rules, and I have broken them enough times to know …they still do exist! And when you do break the rules, be prepared for what follows. Even though a man wants to get physical with you right away, and might even tell you it won’t change a thing… that same man will be re-evaluating the relationship as soon as the light of day show up!

They will always wonder in the back of their minds, if you do this with every Tom, Dick and Harry you meet? And you should question the same in your mind about him… is he with every Jane, Sally and Betty? !

Even though it seems like a good idea at the time, and we all love instant gratification, the fact is, a man will more likely respect a women, stay with a women, and want to please her, is the woman that leaves him wanting more. When you hold back a little, that’s intriguing and something to look forward to. Become the object of his desire beyond the initial lust you both feel.

If you goal is long term, then take my advise, and hold off, get to know him better, wait until you get the feeling you can trust him. Let him earn your trust first. You are worth it you hot mamma!  But end the first date at the bar meeting at the BAR, no matter how well it went!

Sorry guys, but I had to tell them. But you will thank me too when you meet the right girl and I save you from all that drama of the crazy stalking that will follow you if you go too far too soon and then want to back out of the relationship!

Hey it’s true, I once told a guy that was practically begging me to sleep with him on the first date night  “no thanks… one night stands are like having a Chinese food dinner. It will leave you hungry an hour later.”

Go for the full sit down dinner, trust me it will always be much more memorable.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

Read Full Post »

No, this week’s blog is not about how to date cheap!

But I will post that one soon…

This week we will discuss a very important topic about your future success in dating. I see this on a regular basis with so many singles and I fear they will remain single for a lot longer than they desire. Why?

They are limiting their options with a narrow (or impossible) search criteria.

I like to refer to this as:

Dating with a Champagne taste with a Beer pocketbook”

That’s an old phrase which the definition reads:

Someone who lives above his or her means and likes things they cannot afford has champagne taste on a beer budget.

What do I mean by that?

Your taste / standards in men or women are really beyond your reality.

When we begin a relationship we both “bring something to the table”. Someone might be well off financially and someone may admire the other person’s knowledge in money-making skills, and can learn from their financial wisdom. (OK or maybe they just want to date a RICH GUY!)

Or maybe you are way above average in looks, and this natural born blessing can attract many men

Maybe you are good at cooking and the other person is not, and values that talent….

OR you could be a very careful, decisive person, and you admire some else for their ability to make decisions so accurately yet impulsively.

Yes, there is something to the Yin / Yang theory that opposites attract… But even opposites have an equal balance between them.

Because if they don’t you will find that:

Opposites attract – THEN ATTACK!

Hey let’s be real… YES we all have dreams.

We all have standards.

We all have ideas about how it’s supposed to look or be.

But when we remain trapped in our fantasies, reality suffers.

And nowhere is this more apparent than in the dating scene.

Are you dating with a Champagne taste on a Beer pocketbook?

Are your standards for love too high?

Let’s take a little test here…

Look through 100 profiles on online and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How many did you find attractive?
  2. How many met your criteria: age, height, weight, income, smoking, religion, etc.?
  3. How many wrote interesting profiles that would make you think they’d be compelling conversation on a date?

Now look at the number of people that met the above criteria’s of yours,

How many out of that 100 made the cut?

That is your percentage. If the number of people who met your requirements is less than 5 percent then you need to re-think your wish list.

Yes this may be shocking to discover, but out of 100 people online, you may have found there are only five are even dateable.

So now consider this…out of those five, how many of them do you think will love your family and appreciate your quirks?

How many of them have the same long-term relationship goals as you?

Most importantly, how many of those five will think that you are cute enough to them, thin enough, young enough, rich enough, smart enough, kind enough and interesting enough?

They have choices too.

So what does all this mean?

Are we doomed to a life of solitude and loneliness?

No.

But we might have to adjust our perspective a bit, though.

We need to open up our age range, our height range, our body types, to people we might not have considered otherwise. Until we give others a chance, what hope do we have that they will give us a chance?

This is a perfect example of why I say that meeting in person at single events is SO much better then online dating. So many times we pass on opportunities online, that had we met in person, we would have chosen them to begin with. In real life, if you start talking to someone at a speed dating party who is intriguing, and the next day get their phone number and set up a date. You may not find out until later that he’s a different religion, or political party and by then you already like them!

A perfect example of this is a couple that both in there early 40’s and both had never been married. Both have a long list of “must haves”, including meeting a partner of the same religion.

Well guess what?  They met at party 6 months ago, SHE is Catholic and Republican. HE is Jewish and a Liberal and they have been together ever since.

What this all means is anything is possible if we LIKE someone and broaden our views.

What we think we “must have” merely limits our options.

For example, I know of a male customer that comes to my events, who is 57 and owns a multimillion-dollar business he started when he was in his 20’s . He insists he ONLY wants a woman younger then him, as any woman his age or older will “not be able to keep up with him”.

He never got a college degree, so he wouldn’t cut it in many women’s educational requirements that earn as much as he does.

Too bad for him! I’ve know of a single female who is 63 and still bike rides 30 miles round trip to work, loves to ski and play tennis. She’s amazingly beautiful, youthful and vibrant, intelligent and completely off the radar for most men her age.

It’s a shame, isn’t it?

Actually when you think about it, what it does is reminds us how hard it is to find somebody special. Signing up for online dating, or going to singles events, in hopes of falling in love right away with Mr. Or Ms “Perfect” is pretty much the equivalent of going to Vegas, walking up to the first slot machine you see, throwing in a $1 and win back one million on the first try.

NOW don’t get me wrong…by no means am I suggesting that we shouldn’t have standards or we should not believe there is no such thing as a perfect match; so take the next train wreck that comes in!

No one should ever compromise on his or her morals, values, and spiritual affiliation. With that said, I must say that there are a ton of single men and women out here who has a long lists of MUST HAVES which are totally unrealistic and with little flexibility on their dream man or woman list.

If you insist that you could never date someone who didn’t have an advanced degree, make at least six figures, must be a good-looking rate of 9.5 on a scale of 1-10 (especially when you are a 5 at best, MUST love to ski, and never ever looses his temper or disagrees, OR you must find someone that is  still a virgin with no children to start a family and you are 45, you just might need to get real.

Should that be the case, your standards are not too high they’re just plain foolish.

Is it possible you could be creating your own roadblocks?

This quote says it perfectly:

Rumi: Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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Last week we talked about how especially in the dating world, first impressions are forever and lasting.  It’s also equally as rough when you thought your first impression absolutely wooed the dude, yet he never calls you again. Sigh… Luckily for us, this week, a frisky pair from one of our events clued me in some of the reasons why he or she won’t be going out on that second date!

While cell phone manners, a lack of physical attraction, talking too much about yourself, and blatant pre-date lies definitely apply to both genders for a NO WAY… there are some specific reasons for why a GUY won’t get a chance at getting to 2nd base with a girl, or maybe even the time of day again!

And LADIES, if the phone doesn’t ring again, below you will find some real eye openers on why a guy won’t be calling back.

Ladies FIRSThere is 12 reasons why she isn’t going to come back for round two guys! There is no particular order mind below, all it takes is one or two of these gentlemen and you are done!

1. You’re Way Too Into Me: We’re all nervous about being liked on a first date, but nothing will scare us faster guys then when you are proposing marriage before the bread basket has arrived. Too much too fast makes me want to put on the brakes, get out and start running. Had you given me the chance to get to know you a bit, I might have been willing to say “sure I will marry you and no prenups for us!”

(well on second thought… maybe not)

2. You Drank Too Much: I would say this applies equally for both sides of the gender fences…Alcohol may help relax the initial first-date jitters. But no matter what, WASTED is not pretty and slurring isn’t sexy.

3. You’re Way Too Touchy-Feely: This behavior often goes hand in hand with #2. Most women want to get the sense that you respect us before we give you the green light (aka get naked with you), But if you’re already pawing at my butt, doing your best to out your hands all over me and we haven’t even kissed yet, expect a swift kick to the lower region on the date and a no answer on that next day call to me.

4. Bad Table Manners: A friend of mine once went out on a date with a guy who dunked his finger in his drink and then sucked the liquid off to show how sexy he was. Um, YUCK! Needless to say, there was no date #2.

5. You Didn’t Offer To Buy Me a Drink: I’m going to put this one as simple as possible and in one word…. CHEAP. Yes… when I become your girlfriend there will be times, we will be going Dutch. But if you invite me to meet you on a first date meeting in a bar and you don’t offer to get me even one drink, you’re a cheapskate. And there is nothing more unattractive then a cheap “what’s in it for me if I spend it one you” kinda man.

6. You Twittered In My Presence: Twittering while we’re on our first date? Busy texting, answering cell phone calls, won’t gain you any brownie points for having so many friends…instead it will mean one less new one.

7. Wandering or No Eye Contact:

I can’t trust you if you can’t look me in the eyes. Or worse, you seem more interested in eyeing the waitress. Even if it’s just from nerves, I don’t know if you’re anxious or a serial killer. Either way, you’re showing a serious lack of confidence. Big no no…

8. You Make Lots Of Big Declarative Statements About What You’re Looking For: Sounds more like you just want someone that will sit and look pretty, speak only when prompted with no opinion at all. Have you thought about getting a dog instead of a girlfriend? Don’t get me wrong; I want to know what kinds of things are important to you. But if you’re going down a checklist of you better be this or that… I have to wonder if a trainable golden retriever would be a better match for you then frisky little me.

9. You Called Your Ex-Girlfriend “Crazy”: Yep this one is a no-brainer, if you are saying that about the X you might be saying the same thing about me one day. But I’m even more afraid that you DO have a psycho X-girlfriend and, by dating you, I’ll incur her vengeful wrath while on a date with you!

10. You Didn’t Bring Anything To The Conversation: I’m glad you like what I have to say, but what’s on your mind? We’re not at that comfortable at date #1 in the silence stage.

11. The I Don’t Care This is ME Look: That T-shirt has a stain on it. And the baseball cap is not cute. You don’t have to get all fake fancy, but on the first date shouldn’t you be trying to look your best?

12. You Were Rude To The Waiter/Waitress: I once read the CEO of Staples never hires anyone for management until he takes them out to lunch and see how they speak to and treat the wait staff. If you’re already abusing your relationship with a waiter/waitress, what’s the future going to be like with you?

And LADIES…

7 Reasons He Didn’t Ask You Out On A Second Date

Guys can be fickle, but sometimes, they have a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone to call us ladies… They are a bit simpler and less complicated then we women, therefore we have fewer reasons listed here. So here are 7 reasons why men might not call you back for that second date.

1. There’s no physical attraction. Men are visual there is no doubt about it. AND you have no control over this one, no right or wrong unless you dyed your hair pink and lost/gained 150 pounds before going on first date, that could certainly throw things off!

2. Talking too much about yourself or x-boyfriend. Don’t confuse confidence with vanity—if you’re going on and on about yourself, we’re not coming back for seconds. Be sure to keep the conversation two-sided, and keep some mystery alive by not jamming your biography into an hour-long dinner. And NO X-boyfriend talk! What guys hear when you talk about your X, even if you give the signal you like him is:  “I’m still into this dude, but yeah, you’re, uh, pretty OK.”

3. Cell phone addicts. If you’re on the phone constantly during a first date, don’t expect a call from the guy later on. This applies to texting, too; in fact, texting seems even ruder.

4. Vulgarity. Guys like a girl who can be as vulgar as their guy friends, but don’t trot out your award-winning burps or four-letter fiestas until at least the second or third date.

5. Blatant pre-date lies. This one’s common with the internet dating crowd. Don’t tell lies about yourself before the date kicks off, be yourself always. Don’t say that you’re a rich hand model who enjoys Russian literature (yes some of this stuff really has been said… can’t make this stuff up) unless, of course, you actually can pull that one off by speaking Russian phases and getting the best manicure in town!

6. You missed his signals. Some guys have trouble making a move, and if you shrugged off his arm on your shoulder because you were hot or leaned away from a kiss because you heard your neighbors going through your trash, he might be feeling rejected. Call him to set things straight. And while you’re at it, call the cops on your creepy neighbors.

7. He still mourning someone else. If it was just a first date, an old relationship might have flared up again, or the guy might have met someone else that he’d rather date. There is no real obligation to call you and say anything since, well, it was a first date. Don’t hold it against him, but don’t wait around either. If you don’t get a call within about a week of the first date, forget about it and move on … NEXT

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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There are 2 small things that you can start doing today to get more dates, and with some luck land yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend in the process.

So lets start with first things first… which is a first impression.

First impressions count and you never get a second chance to make a first impression!

You have just a few minutes (7 minutes at our SPEED DATING EVENTS) to make a good first impression and it’s almost impossible ever to change it. So it’s worth giving each new encounter your best shot. Much of what you need to do to make a good impression is common sense

I get calls all the time asking me what to wear to a singles event from both the guys and the gals. I tell the ladies, and guys, to not overdo it, be you and feel comfortable, but do dress to impress.

When you go to a singles event, get dressed as you would if you were going out on the town. Make sure that you are cleaned up and presentable as best as you can be.

Do whatever it is that you do to get well groomed.

Guys this means visiting your local barber for a haircut. So don’t even have to think about taking that shortcut and wearing a baseball hat to an event! Keep in mind, a nice naked clean-shaven face is sexy guys.

Ladies: if visiting your local salon for a cut and color or to get your nails done, then make sure to make time to do that.

And Ladies do think about the great power in wearing a skirt or dress. It’s obviously the most feminine way to dress. And most women look GREAT in a skirt or dress.
Skirts are very forgiving and make a woman’s “pear shape” into an “asset” if you’ll pardon my French…
Now of course a pair of jeans can be just as gorgeous as a dress – on the right person. But for women to abandon femininity and feel uncomfortable about showing how sexy they are is, well, tragic! Skirts are a woman’s secret weapon to looking and feeling sexy.  Let me tell you….when I wear a skirt it makes all the difference.  The truth is that there is a difference between men and women, and woman should embrace those differences and make them shine!

Men and Women- wear something unique that could be a conversation starter! Ladies- interesting attractive jewelry, Guys… could be something as simple as a fun nickname on your name tag!

And ALWAYS try to look your best even if its just running to the store to pick up some milk.

Hey I once dated someone for 5 months who I met and kept running into at my local 7 – Eleven!

Always put yourself in the best possible position to get dates.

Bottom line is both Men and Women feel good and is attracted to being around someone who takes pride in their appearance AND is confident.

I FEEL good when I look good. And when I FEEL good it shows…

Of course, being confident means more than just what you wear, it’s a complete state of mind.

Women: it’s about truly loving men for the silly creatures from Mars they really are. FAULTS and all… get rid of the man bashing tapes running through your head.

And Men… to succeed with women you need to truly love women for the ever-changing beings we are! As Billy Joel puts it so well in his so ng… “She is frequently kind, and she’s suddenly cruel… she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be, blame it all on yourself, cause she’s always a woman to me”

Remember it’s what you think in your mind as you walk by any man or woman, know it’s is the confident, non-judgmental thoughts that you have running through your mind, that will RIVET their attention – and they’ll never know exactly why.

Practice it as often as you can on everyone even those you may not date! This way when the real deal comes along you will be fine-tuned.

OK so there you have it… 2 small changes/ improvements you can start with TODAY

1. Dress to impress

2. Think confident  (YES you are one hellva sexy desirable single)

Quote: from Albert Schweitzer:

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.

If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Powerful and somewhat dangerous stuff – go-ahead try it out and have some fun with it!

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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This week on Thursday 2/25 we held our “Flirting 101” workshop for Dating Success Simplified. And I think what we learned was:

Flirting is the ultimate welcome and very easy to give to someone.

When you flirt with someone, you are telling him or her that they are welcome in your world. To be welcomed is a gift and far more meaningful than it appears on the surface.

One of the oldest traditions of mankind is the welcome.

In every time and culture in history, the “welcome” has been a huge part of the social interactions, both small and great.

Welcoming others is a time-honored tradition, which enters many areas of our lives. The best companies know this and make a point of welcoming us when we visit their businesses. We buy welcome mats for our homes; we say “you’re welcome” in our everyday speech.

Those who know how to make others feel welcomed are the most loved and sought-after companions.

On the other hand, not feeling welcome – especially for a man – is a huge rejection. It’s the quickest kiss of death for any potential relationship.

When we don’t feel welcome somewhere, we immediately want to leave. As the saying goes, “I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.” An ego can be a fragile thing when not handled with care and affection.

Flirting is the ultimate welcome.

What exactly is it to welcome someone?

It is to give someone your attention, and tell them that you are happy to have met them and be with them.

Some of the most seemingly unapproachable men can suddenly become very appealing and sexy indeed when inspired by a little flirting – because they suddenly feel noticed and welcomed.

The key to successful flirting is to keep it light, casual, and playful.

But its also equally important to know when to flirt and know when not to!
Don’t get me wrong – I am all for “assertive” flirting, not to be mistaken with “aggressive” flirting.  It all has to be done in such a way that the other person does not see you as “aggressive”.

I know… “aggressive” is a loaded word that means different things to different people.  I prefer the word assertive, and many men and women love when someone is assertive in flirting and paying attention to them.

But the bottom line is never be fearful of trying.

Go after what you want!

Playing it safe will never win anyone over.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

OK so sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, or maybe because of them – (trying too hard) things do not always go the way we want them to.

That’s ok too, its all part of the process.

Just it let go.

What is to be is to be, and what is not to be, is not.

If you run into a situation where you find yourself in a “dead end” after trying to be playful / flirty with some, its ok! Don’t freak out.

Just use some charm, and maybe some humor too, you will find it will never steer you wrong in the long haul.

Trust yourself that you will instinctively know just how far to “push” with anyone.

Here’s some links to tips on Flirting for both men and women:

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy

http://www.cosmogirl.com/guys/guide-to-guys/flirt-like-you-mean-it

http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-With-a-Pretty-Girl

http://www.wikihow.com/Physically-Flirt-with-a-Girl

http://www.ehow.com/how_2324598_via-text-message-easy-steps.html

OK so now you need to go out and practice your flirting skills!

Try them out on strangers in the grocery store, the laundry mat, on the LIRR, or at the mall. Hey… even if you make a mistake, you most likely won’t see them again anyway! AND you will be that much more practiced and ready when you go to a singles event.

*Next Flirting workshop will be Thursday 4/22 place TBD


All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at
info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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