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So I got this note from a single woman which I found interesting … here is her dilemma followed by my response…

 

Hi Gail,

I’m not sure if you address this new group of singles, but I know there are a lot of us out here.

The older women who are raising children- whether they be adopted at a late age or given birth to at a late age or many are raising and have custody of their grandchildren.

We never get to go out and babysitter fees are high and we don’t fit into the activities of younger parents meeting each other and bringing their children to events.

I’m thinking maybe no men want to meet us lol… seriously maybe there really isn’t a place for us in meeting someone. We are doomed to be lonely. 🙂 Maybe that one man in a million who never had children and would like to raise one later in life? Not very probable.

Well I just wanted to bring us to your attention that we would love to join things somehow – there are quite a few of us silently out here- but as I said maybe there are no men interested.
Have a great day

Suzie 

 


Hi Suzie,

New group of singles ? I didn’t realize we were categorizing singles … ?

All singles looking for love… of ALL AGES… have their crosses to bear…

*Women in their mid to late 30’s that want to have children who have not yet found “the one” and are afraid of missing the boat on that one…

*Singles that are handicapped physically or mentally but are high functioning or someone battling (or recovered from) cancer and can not find someone to accept them for who they are inside.

*Folks my age (62) that are dealing with aging parents (like raising kids again but worse) that need their care and don’t have enough time to socialize

*Middle aged single parents that still have their adult children living with them (this many singles find a turn off)

*All the “separated” but living with their spouses in the basement … that are doing that until the kids get to be 21 or 18 … who wants to date someone yet they are still living (technically) with their married partner! But they will insist they must live this way for financial reasons and for the “sake of the kids”

*And of course your situation that you described – Middle aged or older singles living with and  raising or taking care of  younger children for whatever the reason

Yet… I know of singles in everyone one of these above situations that DID find love. Will all of them find love? No perhaps not, but does that mean we go around with the belief that it will never happen ?  I think not!

You can choose to be lonely or not. It is a choice.

The time in my life when I was the most lonely, was when I was married ! Living in a very loveless marriage and trapped with young children. Not having the freedom that comes with being single – to arrange my life the way I wanted without having to ask permission.

You don’t have to go out every weekend or weekday to meet someone. But despite your situation, you must find a way to carve out some time for yourself to enjoy a different side of life… meeting new singles.

Hey.. check out my situation… here I was a successful entrepreneur hosting singles events and I could not find someone that would accept this as OK to date! Men would say .. you do WHAT for a living? and you’re not available to date on the weekends because you are working… I would be like .. Dude.. it’s not like I am dancing on tables here.. I am hosting events for singles which I find rewarding, does it mean I will cheat on you? NO that’s not my style and HEY .. what’s wrong with dating on a THURS or WED ? or SUN night ?

I wasn’t about to give up my new found business just to make someone else happy. This went on for 7 long years! And at age 58 I finally met someone that accepted me and my world as OK .. no problem here!

Love is worth waiting for, and does not come easily… even though we live in a very disposable world. But that does not mean no one finds love? I have proof people do find each other, despite their situations (SEE TESTIMONIALS HERE) 

If you have a strong desire to meet someone then do something about it. You can make this choice. Figure out how … FIRST you must make time to socialize

Pursue all and any avenues – Happy hours, backyard BBQ with new singles girlfriends families, take a class, GO to single events, try online dating.
Create opportunities. Be positive.

And most of all be patient and enjoy your time now. It will happen for you .

Warm Regards,

From Gail Adams
www.7inheavensingles.com
Landline- 631 592 9804

#SpeedDating #Singles #Advice #FindLove #dating #longIsland
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Hi Gail,

Just wanted to let you know that I had a nice time SPEED DATING.  It was a lot of fun!
I see below that “Kirk” also listed me for a second date and thanks for giving me his contact info.
After the dating was finished I went back into the bar with another woman from the event, we both spent time chatting it up with a gentlemen she knew and ran into there, and we both had a nice time.

“Kirk” was also at the bar but he was engaged in conversation with other people from the event, and I felt awkward approaching him.
He hasn’t contacted me and I’m wondering if it’s because I didn’t approach him that evening?  What’s the protocol here?  Is it ok for the ladies to contact the men?
Gosh, you would think at my age  I would be able to figure this out! ha ha…!
Thanks.
“Gwyneth”

———————————————————————————————

Hi Gwyneth,

Humm… This can always be a tricky one.

Perhaps it would have been a good idea to leave “Kirk” with the impression you are interested.
But its a fine line- between flirting and being too overbearing.

Sometimes you can break into the conversation if he is with another woman, and sometimes its not possible.
What you might sometimes have to do… is  place yourself very close to the conversation, by perhaps sitting at a bar stool nearby, and look thier way.
If “Kirk” glances at you- during the conversation, you could turn your body toward the conversation
(body language is important)
And then, if the opportunity presents its self= you could find a way to join in on the conversation.

But other times its not possible to do that.

So…. if the other alternative is send an email to “Kirk” from the contact information I gave you from the Speed Dating event

say something like:
it was nice to meet youlooking forward to spending some time getting to know you better!

But only send ONE email! No response is an answer!

Now onto WHY he hasn’t called?

Well there are a ton of possible reasons such as:
A. *He is shy, new at the singles scene and needs some encouragement to make the first move
B. * Not ready to date yet, did he recently get separated ?
C. * Although he found you interesting, someone else piqued his interest more

So – in case he is SHY – send the gentle reminder email.
But don’t do more then that, as if he doesn’t make a move after that email, then perhaps the answer could be B or C !
And that’s OK – its only one person and one persons preferences.
Many others will find you attractive, and interesting! Don’t waste time on it all…

Just say “NEXT” and move along.

Hope that helps!

 

 

All the best on your quest,

Gail Adams– Event Coordinator

7in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site-
http://www.7-in-heaven.com

 

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This one is for all the ladies out there, that think there are no good guys left. There are plenty of them ladies! Here’s some food for thought on how you might be turning away opportunities by not being open minded.

Dear Gail:

I attended one of your SPEED DATING events and received a date match from that event.

The next day I sent the following email to the date match:

Hi Henrietta,

You and I had a  ‘speed-date’ with 7-in-heaven and since I am not that experienced at this speed dating thing, and have trouble sorting and keeping notes during/after

the ‘date’,  I have just a composite image and details about you. So let’s get together to fill in the details of each of our lives. Maybe we can be friends or…more?

I’ll call you in the next couple of days to work out a convenient time to get together for coffee, tea or light meal and some interesting conversation.

Looking forward to continuing the conversation.

Cordially,

Jake

I called Henrietta a day after that email, she answered and said she is just about to have dinner, she’ll call back and then, it seemed to me, she abruptly hung up!  AND she did not call later.

OK, I thought, let’s try again, you never know what’s going on in another person’s life – I’m trying not to judge.

I called again the next day, left message on cell phone. To date no return call.

Gail, I know men and women communicate in different ways and sometime don’t communicate at all and/or there is much potential for miscommunication, please review the above and give me the benefit of your view on what’s taking place here.

These real life dramas are like a chapter out of your relationship BLOG!

Warmly,

JAKE

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Dear Jake,

I am a straight shooter! Tell it like it is and based on what you wrote I would like to make this suggestion.

You seem like a low-key, easy going guy JAKE, and would best mesh with someone LIKE you.
Henrietta is a very attractive woman and has a lot of choices as a very pretty woman.
If I had to guess... I would say she was not impressed – that you didn’t EXACTLY know who she was- she may feel she should have STOOD OUT from all the rest, how could you NOT know?

Now, someone more down to earth, practical, would appreciate your honesty and know that they TOO could easily forget some details after meeting a group of people.
This gal, instead of being honest with you, decided to do the age old “blow him off by being unavailable” routine.

You did everything right. It just wasn’t a match, or she is checking out other options available from the event.

No answer is an answer, whether it is from a man or a woman.
Women do tend to be less upfront, as we Venus people… don’t like to hurt feelings so we ladies somehow think no answer is kinder.
BUT MARTIANS prefer a straight up – no thanks answer.

Ah yes, the differences of men and women.

Let this one go, you need to be with someone that is more understanding like yourself.

Wishing you joy on your journey,

Gail
7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- http://www.7-in-heaven.com

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