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So I got this note from a single woman which I found interesting … here is her dilemma followed by my response…

 

Hi Gail,

I’m not sure if you address this new group of singles, but I know there are a lot of us out here.

The older women who are raising children- whether they be adopted at a late age or given birth to at a late age or many are raising and have custody of their grandchildren.

We never get to go out and babysitter fees are high and we don’t fit into the activities of younger parents meeting each other and bringing their children to events.

I’m thinking maybe no men want to meet us lol… seriously maybe there really isn’t a place for us in meeting someone. We are doomed to be lonely. 🙂 Maybe that one man in a million who never had children and would like to raise one later in life? Not very probable.

Well I just wanted to bring us to your attention that we would love to join things somehow – there are quite a few of us silently out here- but as I said maybe there are no men interested.
Have a great day

Suzie 

 


Hi Suzie,

New group of singles ? I didn’t realize we were categorizing singles … ?

All singles looking for love… of ALL AGES… have their crosses to bear…

*Women in their mid to late 30’s that want to have children who have not yet found “the one” and are afraid of missing the boat on that one…

*Singles that are handicapped physically or mentally but are high functioning or someone battling (or recovered from) cancer and can not find someone to accept them for who they are inside.

*Folks my age (62) that are dealing with aging parents (like raising kids again but worse) that need their care and don’t have enough time to socialize

*Middle aged single parents that still have their adult children living with them (this many singles find a turn off)

*All the “separated” but living with their spouses in the basement … that are doing that until the kids get to be 21 or 18 … who wants to date someone yet they are still living (technically) with their married partner! But they will insist they must live this way for financial reasons and for the “sake of the kids”

*And of course your situation that you described – Middle aged or older singles living with and  raising or taking care of  younger children for whatever the reason

Yet… I know of singles in everyone one of these above situations that DID find love. Will all of them find love? No perhaps not, but does that mean we go around with the belief that it will never happen ?  I think not!

You can choose to be lonely or not. It is a choice.

The time in my life when I was the most lonely, was when I was married ! Living in a very loveless marriage and trapped with young children. Not having the freedom that comes with being single – to arrange my life the way I wanted without having to ask permission.

You don’t have to go out every weekend or weekday to meet someone. But despite your situation, you must find a way to carve out some time for yourself to enjoy a different side of life… meeting new singles.

Hey.. check out my situation… here I was a successful entrepreneur hosting singles events and I could not find someone that would accept this as OK to date! Men would say .. you do WHAT for a living? and you’re not available to date on the weekends because you are working… I would be like .. Dude.. it’s not like I am dancing on tables here.. I am hosting events for singles which I find rewarding, does it mean I will cheat on you? NO that’s not my style and HEY .. what’s wrong with dating on a THURS or WED ? or SUN night ?

I wasn’t about to give up my new found business just to make someone else happy. This went on for 7 long years! And at age 58 I finally met someone that accepted me and my world as OK .. no problem here!

Love is worth waiting for, and does not come easily… even though we live in a very disposable world. But that does not mean no one finds love? I have proof people do find each other, despite their situations (SEE TESTIMONIALS HERE) 

If you have a strong desire to meet someone then do something about it. You can make this choice. Figure out how … FIRST you must make time to socialize

Pursue all and any avenues – Happy hours, backyard BBQ with new singles girlfriends families, take a class, GO to single events, try online dating.
Create opportunities. Be positive.

And most of all be patient and enjoy your time now. It will happen for you .

Warm Regards,

From Gail Adams
www.7inheavensingles.com
Landline- 631 592 9804

#SpeedDating #Singles #Advice #FindLove #dating #longIsland
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Erin and Tom’s Love Story


Before Tom

After my divorce and before I met Tom, I dated a couple of guys seriously and both times I got super heart broken.

I went into a period of just kind of giving up and not being selective. It was a really cruddy time. I was herding myself through a series of bad choices – dating people I knew it wouldn’t work with.

I got glimpses of what it would be like to have different qualities in a relationship. I dated men who wanted to commit to me or bond with my son Ben or move in together, but they were all like 25.

My friends called me out and said why are you dating 25 year olds who want to be serious with you, but aren’t really ready for it? They’re all too young for you.

I guess it was like getting the illusion of a committed relationship, but not what it would be like with an adult person.

Online Dating Rules

I had one friend who’d been online dating and she talked me into trying it out. At the same time I was doing Soulmate School and another program about being in my power.

So I signed up for a dating site and set new rules for myself.

I had been picking people out based solely on physical attraction and that wasn’t working out for me. The guys I was dating looked amazing on ‘minute one’ but then as I got to know them better they weren’t so great after all.

So with my new rules, I decided I was going to get to know people first and leave the physical stuff out of the game for awhile.

My First Rule was that anyone who asks me out that seems kind and respectful, I go out with him, regardless of looks.

For me it was about meeting and interacting with different people more than anything else.

I went on 20-25 dates in one month. In one day, I had a lunch date, met a guy for a drink after work, and then another guy for a dinner date.

Everyone I met was really nice. And I got to see all of them side by side. How they treated me. One would call when he said he would and then another wouldn’t.

It made it easy to let the not so good situations go without wasting too much time on them. Why would I put up with not being treated well, when there’s plenty of people out there who have their act together and are kind and respectful?

My Second Rule was if the first date wasn’t horrible I’d go on a second date, regardless of whether I was attracted to him or not.

Meeting Tom – No Spark at First

In the end there were 3 people that I was dating.

Tom was one of them.

The day before I met him for the first time, I called my friend and said I want a man who is all of it – adventurous and exciting and sexy and strong and masculine and nice and kind, thoughtful and caring.’ I said to her, ‘maybe I’m  being unrealistic. Maybe I should let that go and just accept that the kind of man who is one side is probably not the other’.

The next day was my first date with Tom.

I thought he was really nice and we had a lot in common and I liked talking to him, but there wasn’t a spark for me. Still I followed my second rule and went out with him again.

On our second date there was more of connection. He was nice, but quiet and all the things we talked about were fine, but again there wasn’t really that spark.

Third Date Fireworks

Then on the third date, it all changed.

He took me canoeing.

He’s a rock climbing and canoeing instructor, and he was totally in his comfort zone. It was like he lit up.

He started showing this adventurous, funny and witty side of himself. And I thought to myself ‘Oh my God, he might possibly be all of it. All of the things I thought I couldn’t have in one guy’.

It felt like everything we talked about that day was right on. There was this spark and connection there and it completely caught me off guard. I had thought if I didn’t feel that connection in the first moment of meeting then it wouldn’t happen.

All of a sudden, it felt really comfortable and exciting all at the same time. I had this knowing feeling of ‘this is it’.

If I had only judged Tom by his online profile, I wouldn’t have gone out with him.  I would have dismissed him as a nice guy but not lively enough for me.

Even after the first date I could have said he’s nice but ‘eh not really doing it for me’.

Tom felt the connection from the first time he saw me – when he saw me walk up on our first date. He thought to himself ‘oh whoa this is different’. Thank God I set those rules!

He’s the perfect combination of both sides of the spectrum – adventurous and masculine and kind and caring.

It’s only gotten better and better over time. We have so much fun all the time, even when we’re just hanging out and talking and being with each other.

Almost Sabotaged It

While we were dating I did a good job of keeping myself in check as far as the things you teach. I kept myself energized and stayed true to myself.

But all along the way I was on the lookout for it to fail.

As we kept getting closer and closer, I got really scared. I started making up issues that didn’t exist to try and protect myself.  I thought that I must be missing something really bad, because it couldn’t be this good.

Without your help and my brother’s help, I would have sabotaged it.

You both talked me out of a few situations where I might have shut it down. I remember thinking that I knew that I was ready because I was turning to people like you and my brother who kept me in it – where in the past I would have gone to other single friends who would say ‘oh just leave that’.

I knew somewhere inside me that this relationship was going good places, so I was careful who I went to for advice.

It was scary for both of us, but we were both willing to keep taking steps forward.

Getting Married

After nearly a year, we started talking about living together. I was clear that I didn’t want to move in without being married, because we both have kids. His son is 4 and mine is 8. They’ve always gotten along super well and really love each other, which is so wonderful.

So we found this really cute house and on the day they went to get the paperwork, I felt sick to my stomach. I loved Tom and I loved the house. I knew we were going to get married at some point, but the house was moving faster than the wedding situation was.

Tom is so wonderful at knowing when I’m off or something is up. So he asked me what was going on, and we had a conversation about why it was so important for me to be married before we moved in. We had talked about it before, but it had kind of gotten lost in the house looking.

Two days later he bought a ring and proposed to me under a giant tree (we both love trees and nature and being outside).

We got married 4 weeks later and moved into the new cute house the same day.

It’s funny in telling the story, it sounds like it all went really fast. We met in July and got married the following July. But it never felt fast. I knew that we’d be together after date 3. It was just about giving ourselves enough time to get to know each other.

I feel so grateful all the time, and I’ll often tear up out of love and gratitude when we’re talking. We support each other and are more in love than I even know what to do with sometimes. It’s just wonderful.

I couldn’t imagine a more perfect fit for me.

~~~~~~~

Gail Adams  Event Coordinator

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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Julio sent to me recently letting me know of this connection that lead to a marriage ! Although I know of hundreds of connections, and marriages made through  7 in Heaven, not everyone takes the time to write to me and let me know how they have met someone fabulous attending my events.

Thank you to all that have done so, as your happiness, is my joy
for allowing me to know this really does work

Please keep those notes coming.

Gail

 

Hi Gail,

I thought it was worthwhile letting you know about a success story from attending one of your events in Oceanside more than 3 years ago. When people ask how we met, we still fondly recall all the details from that night.

Both me and my wife, Heather, were invited as secondary guests through our friends and after a 2.5 year courtship we married last October. Although we only attended one of your events, there was just the right connection and fortunate timing to develop into a life together.

Best wishes to you and a prosperous business.

Julio

 

—————————-

Gail Adams  Owner and Founder 

7 in Heaven Singles Events

 

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804    EMAIL: info@7-in-heaven.com

Cupid shooting arrows for lovePersonal Matchmaking Services

by Gail www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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