Have you ever found yourself in the company of a professional dater? Also called the “serial dater” or “player” ? When you meet them, they will tell you that they really don’t warm up to a lot of people, but they feel such a connection with you and would like to get to know you better. SO you meet for coffee, and wow, they think you’re the next best thing since sliced bread!
They chat you up on instant messenger or TEXT constantly for a couple of weeks and then bam, nothing. And then you find out, they’ve practiced the same line on a friend of yours who’s new on the online dating scene when you exchange notes with your friend and realize you’ve met a serial dater. He or She is dating about 3-6 times a week (depending on how good a juggler they are)
One who engages in the process of systematically dating an obscene amount people in short span of time. This definition encompasses but is not limited to internet dating, bar dating, long distance flirtations, phone service dating, blind dating, expiration dating, match making, one night stands, friends with benefits, and personal ad surfing. Can be considered a politically correct alternative to word “player” both with and without a negative connotation.
Deep down you might find that the serial dater is actually someone who feels like they always need a boyfriend or girlfriend. Often, serial daters believe they are in love after dating for two days. These relationships usually last for about two weeks, followed by much moping and heartbreak until the next guy or girl comes along two days later, at which point the cycle begins again. These people are often insecure and need another person to boost their self-esteem.
Where do you meet them?
Online dating sites make it a piece of cake to be a serial dater. Many men and women get addicted to these sites always thinking that the BIG PRIZE CATCH is just another click away. Serial daters are like hungry ghosts always on the move, never satisfied and never settling. They are not bad people, they are just restless souls who are seeking love and really don’t have an ulterior motive of using and taking like the “player” does.
“Players” have an agenda and a motive of getting involved for a reason (sex or money) and consciously tells you what you want to hear, to get you to that place… then leave you.
Here is a list of some of the traits/characteristics of a typical serial dater :
1. Professionals, established over forty, and has never been married.
2. Make claims that he wants to settle down and get married but the truths is he has not never been in a committed relationship that last over two years.
3. The first few dates may be fantastic, but soon he simply stops calling (or she won’t answer your calls) without even a break-up notice.
4. They are charming but can never seem to be able to achieve psychological intimacy (although he has no problem getting you into bed with him).
5. Loves to talk about his work above all other topics. The reason behind this is that they are married to their jobs, which is why they aren’t married to a person).
6. They always know the latest buzz on where the trendy bars and restaurants are– often even before they are open (the serial dater is always more excited to be seen at hot spots than spending time with someone he could potentially share his life with).
7. They prefer to spend their weekends alone or with their buddies and have no interest in seeing you except the weekdays.
If you see a number of these traits popping up… keep your feet planted firmly on the ground. Don’t run away with your thoughts, and if needed, move on quickly.
The bottom line is that, sometimes, we all may allow ourselves to be taken in by people who are more into the dating game than seeking out “the one”.
Remember to not take it personal and never lose faith that the majority of us are good honest people just looking for the real deal.
All the best on your quest!