* My Love Life…No one is coming

This information is brought to you by Orna!

Hello singles out there!

I want to share 3 important words that have changed my life forever when it came to finding love. Those words are:

Nobody is coming.

 

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WHAT ABOUT YOU?
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Listen, if you and I were sitting across from each other in a cafe, and we were being totally honest with each other, here’s what I would say to you (because I care enough about you to give you the straight truth with no sugar coating):

“Is it fair to say that you’ve been struggling with relationships for a while now? Sure sometimes it’s been easier than others, but in the end… here you are… still single and waiting for “the one” to show up.”

“You have to take responsibility for what’s in Your Love Imprint™ and change it so that it guides you toward success… automatically. If you don’t change Your Love Imprint™, I guarantee that your unconscious mind is going to keep making you feel attracted to guys that are wrong for you.”

“Nobody is coming to magically fix things. You have to do the same thing you did in your career and take action so you can be successful.”

Ouch… I know. But in our heart of hearts, you know it’s the truth, and I’m the one who cares enough to give it to you straight.

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DO I TAKE MY OWN ADVICE?
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Absolutely.

Once I finally stopped trying to figure out what was wrong with all the men out there and started looking at my own love imprint, I was shocked at what I found in there.

I finally realized that NOTHING I did was going to work until my love imprint was straightened out, and that’s when I took action.  

The result? I met my soulmate, got married, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been 🙂

And guess what? It was EASY! It was sooooooooo much easier once my love imprint was actually working to attract a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one.

What about you?

http://creatingloveonpurpose.com

 

Love and Abundance,

Orna

 

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*Do you believe in Love at First Site?

THE NEW RULES OF ATTRACTION

by NINA MALKIN

When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that anyone would be a fool not to follow them. Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: if you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, you decide to cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. In short, many rules people choose to follow need a little revamping. To that end, we’ve consulted authorities in the field to bring you the most up-to-date strategies for finding someone you’ll click with romantically.

Old rule: You can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone in three seconds.

New rule: You can’t tell if you’re truly attracted to someone until you’ve had three dates.

“Love at first sight” is a familiar romantic notion. And in our increasingly fast-paced world, it’s convenient to think you can tell whether you click with someone that quickly. But experts recommend cultivating a bit more patience by sticking to a three-date minimum to know for sure whether you’re a match (or not). The reason? People are a bundle of nerves on date #1, begin to unwind on date #2, but only by date #3 can someone truly relax and maybe build some rapport with another person. And while sparks early on are nice and all, they say nothing about someone’s long-term partnering potential. “An important part of a compatible relationship is ensuring that each partner’s values coincide — and to learn that takes time, discussion, observation, and interpersonal interaction, not an initial impression based on superficial cues,” says James C. Piers, Ph.D., professor and program director of social work at Hope College in Holland, MI. So, don’t write someone off (or fall head over heels) until you’ve done your due diligence.

Old rule: Your mate must meet all the criteria on your “must-have list.”

New rule: A “must-have list” looks great on paper, but it won’t keep you warm at night.

You can check off the attributes you want — appearance, background, education, career, salary, etc. — but unless you’re building your partner in a lab, you’re almost certainly missing out. Of course, you should have standards and not settle for a two-packs-a-day smoker who doesn’t want kids when you’re allergic to cigarette smoke and eager to start a family… but settling for nothing less than perfection is unrealistic. “Wish lists are a classic recipe for unsuccessful dating,” says relationship coach Hu Fleming, Ph.D. “They’re too limiting and don’t allow for chemistry, which is more intangible and valuable.” Try to be flexible, especially when it comes to physical or material attributes like someone’s height, salary, or hair color. After all, just because someone’s 6’2”, blonde, or makes six figures doesn’t mean he or she will make you happy, so do yourself a favor and treat your wish list describing your ideal mate as just one factor in deciding who’s right for you.

Old rule: Opposites attract.

New rule: Opposites attract and they attack! 

Dating your diametric opposite might mean feeling the surprise of relating to someone really new and different than your usual type, trading lots of challenging banter, and sharing scintillating chemistry — but sustaining a partnership with this person may ultimately prove to be unfulfilling. “The classic couple with nothing in common except their on-fire fights plays well in the movies, but in real life, that attraction fizzles quickly,” says Alyssa Wodtke, coauthor of Truth, Lies, and Online Dating: Secrets to Finding Romance on the Internet. “If you don’t like to do the same things, there will be nothing for you to do outside of the home. And if you don’t want the same things for the future, what kind of future can you have?” We’re not saying that you should end up with someone identical to yourself, but ideally, it should be someone who complements your personality (see the next rule for more details).

Old rule: Your date’s taste in music (or movies, or books) mirrors yours — so you must be soul mates.

New rule: You want to fall in love with a person, not a playlist.

Sometimes you meet someone and have so much in common, you just know it must be love. After all, each of you has seen Phish perform at least a dozen times and know the works of David Sedaris inside and out. But don’t confuse having mirror-image tastes with romantic chemistry. In fact, it’s probably better if your interests don’t match up exactly. Not only does that leave room for you to expand your boundaries and dabble in pursuits that your partner digs, it also means you two will probably have little trouble maintaining some healthy independence. “Some of the best relationships are those where both parties have completely independent hobbies and allow for the concept of ‘his, her and our’ time,” notes Dr. Fleming. So, take it as a good sign if you spend the occasional Saturday night apart — with you doing dips at ballroom dancing class and your date doing the wave at an NBA game, for example.

Old rule: Your first kiss should be a toe-curling experience.

New rule: Your first kiss is ultimately inconsequential.

In fairy tales, an amazing first kiss leads to happily ever after — no wonder we place such importance on that primary pucker! But there are ample reasons why a first kiss from a potentially great partner can go awry (like nervousness or a less-than-ideal setting) — and just as many to explain why a first kiss from Mr./Ms. Wrong can feel so right (you’ve just been dumped and are looking for validation, perhaps?). “A kiss can be a romantic, erotic experience with someone you find physically attractive, but a relationship will crumble without more complex attributes, like shared values,” points out Dr. Piers. So rather than write someone off following a less-than-mindblowing kiss, smile and move in slowly for smooch number two — either at that moment or on a subsequent date. Trust us, you owe it to yourselves.

Old rule: When it’s true love, you think about the other person constantly.

New rule: When it’s true love, thinking about the other person makes you feel good.

Hmm, has Willie Nelson’s cover of “Always on My Mind” become the theme song for how you feel about your sweetie? That may not be for the best. “Constantly thinking about another person isn’t love, it’s infatuation, and infatuation has no correlation with being a good match,” says Dr. Fleming. Ultimately, it’s a better gauge to assess the quality of your thoughts rather than the quantity. “If you have warm and comfortable feelings when you think about your date, that indicates a relationship built on stability, trust and a strong ‘friendship’ factor, denoting a relationship that will more likely wear well over time,” says Dr. Piers. If, on the other hand, your relationship keeps you up all night as you analyze this person’s emails for hidden messages that reveal his or her true feelings, you may be chasing down someone who doesn’t really want to be yours.

Article written by : Nina Malkin

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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*Dating Tips for the suddenly single and getting out there again

About 65% of the singles that attend my events are divorced. The other 35% are made up of widows and those singles-never married.  Almost all have been in long lengthily relationships or marriages, and suddenly find themselves single. Becoming suddenly single again after a long time is like taking up residency in a foreign country and not speaking the language very well.  So what are the rules in this country anyway?

Now anyone that knows me, I am not a big fan of a bunch of rules I’m a rebel at heart. But one must know the rules first in order to break them!

Now there are no hard, fast rules when it comes to dating. Although if you read the dating book called  “the RULES” these gals will tell you there are some rules women must never break! I read the book and found 70% to be ridiculous and 30% I had to begrudgingly agree with.

So what information do you need most to get out there and start over?  Well for starters do a good assessment of yourself to see if you dealt with all the emotional baggage and feel truly ready to date. If you have forgiven yourself and your past and moved on; you will probably do fine. (You might want to read- * Adjusting, letting go, forgiving after a breakup)

Here are some basics to keep in mind when you start dating again:

1. Be true to yourself first.
Now that you are newly single, try to bring balance to your life. You may be eager to date but don’t forget to make time for yourself as well as spend time with friends and family. Date if you feel ready but don’t make it your whole life.

2. Form new relationships with other single people.
If you don’t already have single friend, then find some. Go to single events with the mindset that if I don’t meet the woman or man of my dreams, finding a new single friend will be very helpful. For single ladies, I hold a monthly singles ladies brunch just for this reason to make new single friends. Your married friends are great, but they can’t always relate to your single status and can’t join you on single adventures. A single woman can never have enough single girlfriends for support and to pal around with. Check our Calendar of Events for the next single ladies brunch by you.

3. One date does not form a relationship.
It’s important to know that everyone you date will not be interested in a second date. Just because you were interested in a second date doesn’t mean they have to be. Don’t let the fact that you don’t get called to go out again, make you want to give up or cause you to think negatively about yourself. Move on to the next person and be willing to go through a process of elimination, which could take some time. Don’t take going out on dates too seriously, that you project your thoughts way to far into the future.

4. Don’t come on too strong.
If you were in a long term marriage then you are used to being part of a couple. Divorce means lots of changing and growing for an individual. Bad habits, new place to live, new friends may all be a part of your new life as a newly single individual. Don’t let the couple habit cause you to come on too strong and chase someone special away. You are dating, not stalking so be careful not to overwhelm.

5. Don’t forget to respect yourself.
Go slowly when it comes to sharing information about yourself with a date. It will convey a sense of self – respect and create mystery. So, keep the details to a minimum until you know they are worthy of hearing them. Leave the details of your divorce at home. It’s a date, not a therapy session.

6. The world is your test tube.
Approach the dating game with an attitude of openness and experimentation. It is possible that every date you go on, could lead you to Mr./Ms. Right but… keep an open mind and your feet planted firmly on the ground and you will at least learn something new on every date you go on.

7. Try something new.
Don’t box yourself in with the idea that you have a “type” that you are attracted to. Change those old thought process, step outside your head and broaden your horizons. You may find that what you thought would make you gag, actually makes you happy. Read- * Dating with a Champagne taste with a Beer pocket

8. Never underestimate the power of flirting.
Nothing is more fun than flirting and nothing helps you connect to another person quicker than being playful. Be charming and delightful, show some vitality. Keep it light and festive, not deep and serious. Keep your mind in the moment and not on the long term goal of falling in love. Read- * Flirting is the ultimate welcome

All the best on your quest!

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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* No 2nd Date? Here’s WHY Guys and Girls…

Last week we talked about how especially in the dating world, first impressions are forever and lasting.  It’s also equally as rough when you thought your first impression absolutely wooed the dude, yet he never calls you again. Sigh… Luckily for us, this week, a frisky pair from one of our events clued me in some of the reasons why he or she won’t be going out on that second date!

While cell phone manners, a lack of physical attraction, talking too much about yourself, and blatant pre-date lies definitely apply to both genders for a NO WAY… there are some specific reasons for why a GUY won’t get a chance at getting to 2nd base with a girl, or maybe even the time of day again!

And LADIES, if the phone doesn’t ring again, below you will find some real eye openers on why a guy won’t be calling back.

Ladies FIRST …here is 12 reasons why she isn’t going to come back for round two guys! There is no particular order mind below, all it takes is one or two of these gentlemen and you are done!

1. You’re Way Too Into Me: We’re all nervous about being liked on a first date, but nothing will scare us faster guys then when you are proposing marriage before the bread basket has arrived. Too much too fast makes me want to put on the brakes, get out and start running. Had you given me the chance to get to know you a bit, I might have been willing to say “sure I will marry you and no prenups for us!”

(well on second thought… maybe not)

2. You Drank Too Much: I would say this applies equally for both sides of the gender fences…Alcohol may help relax the initial first-date jitters. But no matter what, WASTED is not pretty and slurring isn’t sexy.

3. You’re Way Too Touchy-Feely: This behavior often goes hand in hand with #2. Most women want to get the sense that you respect us before we give you the green light (aka get naked with you), But if you’re already pawing at my butt, doing your best to out your hands all over me and we haven’t even kissed yet, expect a swift kick to the lower region on the date and a no answer on that next day call to me.

4. Bad Table Manners: A friend of mine once went out on a date with a guy who dunked his finger in his drink and then sucked the liquid off to show how sexy he was. Um, YUCK! Needless to say, there was no date #2.

5. You Didn’t Offer To Buy Me a Drink: I’m going to put this one as simple as possible and in one word…. CHEAP. Yes… when I become your girlfriend there will be times, we will be going Dutch. But if you invite me to meet you on a first date meeting in a bar and you don’t offer to get me even one drink, you’re a cheapskate. And there is nothing more unattractive then a cheap “what’s in it for me if I spend it one you” kinda man.

6. You Twittered In My Presence: Twittering while we’re on our first date? Busy texting, answering cell phone calls, won’t gain you any brownie points for having so many friends…instead it will mean one less new one.

7. Wandering or No Eye Contact:

I can’t trust you if you can’t look me in the eyes. Or worse, you seem more interested in eyeing the waitress. Even if it’s just from nerves, I don’t know if you’re anxious or a serial killer. Either way, you’re showing a serious lack of confidence. Big no no…

8. You Make Lots Of Big Declarative Statements About What You’re Looking For: Sounds more like you just want someone that will sit and look pretty, speak only when prompted with no opinion at all. Have you thought about getting a dog instead of a girlfriend? Don’t get me wrong; I want to know what kinds of things are important to you. But if you’re going down a checklist of you better be this or that… I have to wonder if a trainable golden retriever would be a better match for you then frisky little me.

9. You Called Your Ex-Girlfriend “Crazy”: Yep this one is a no-brainer, if you are saying that about the X you might be saying the same thing about me one day. But I’m even more afraid that you DO have a psycho X-girlfriend and, by dating you, I’ll incur her vengeful wrath while on a date with you!

10. You Didn’t Bring Anything To The Conversation: I’m glad you like what I have to say, but what’s on your mind? We’re not at that comfortable at date #1 in the silence stage.

11. The I Don’t Care This is ME Look: That T-shirt has a stain on it. And the baseball cap is not cute. You don’t have to get all fake fancy, but on the first date shouldn’t you be trying to look your best?

12. You Were Rude To The Waiter/Waitress: I once read the CEO of Staples never hires anyone for management until he takes them out to lunch and see how they speak to and treat the wait staff. If you’re already abusing your relationship with a waiter/waitress, what’s the future going to be like with you?

And LADIES…

7 Reasons He Didn’t Ask You Out On A Second Date

Guys can be fickle, but sometimes, they have a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone to call us ladies… They are a bit simpler and less complicated then we women, therefore we have fewer reasons listed here. So here are 7 reasons why men might not call you back for that second date.

1. There’s no physical attraction. Men are visual there is no doubt about it. AND you have no control over this one, no right or wrong unless you dyed your hair pink and lost/gained 150 pounds before going on first date, that could certainly throw things off!

2. Talking too much about yourself or x-boyfriend. Don’t confuse confidence with vanity—if you’re going on and on about yourself, we’re not coming back for seconds. Be sure to keep the conversation two-sided, and keep some mystery alive by not jamming your biography into an hour-long dinner. And NO X-boyfriend talk! What guys hear when you talk about your X, even if you give the signal you like him is:  “I’m still into this dude, but yeah, you’re, uh, pretty OK.”

3. Cell phone addicts. If you’re on the phone constantly during a first date, don’t expect a call from the guy later on. This applies to texting, too; in fact, texting seems even ruder.

4. Vulgarity. Guys like a girl who can be as vulgar as their guy friends, but don’t trot out your award-winning burps or four-letter fiestas until at least the second or third date.

5. Blatant pre-date lies. This one’s common with the internet dating crowd. Don’t tell lies about yourself before the date kicks off, be yourself always. Don’t say that you’re a rich hand model who enjoys Russian literature (yes some of this stuff really has been said… can’t make this stuff up) unless, of course, you actually can pull that one off by speaking Russian phases and getting the best manicure in town!

6. You missed his signals. Some guys have trouble making a move, and if you shrugged off his arm on your shoulder because you were hot or leaned away from a kiss because you heard your neighbors going through your trash, he might be feeling rejected. Call him to set things straight. And while you’re at it, call the cops on your creepy neighbors.

7. He still mourning someone else. If it was just a first date, an old relationship might have flared up again, or the guy might have met someone else that he’d rather date. There is no real obligation to call you and say anything since, well, it was a first date. Don’t hold it against him, but don’t wait around either. If you don’t get a call within about a week of the first date, forget about it and move on … NEXT

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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