*Hungry Ghosts looking for Love

Hungry Ghosts looking for Love

From one of my favorite books  – Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

What is a Hungry Ghost?

Someone who cannot find love.

Its not that love has not come their way… Hundreds of time in their life they are led to tables spread with endless food and precious delights, but no matter how much they eat (date)… they cannot be satisfied. Either they aren’t at the table in time, or can’t seem to taste the food or no matter how much they put in their mouths, they continue to search for more. Hungry ghosts might sample one relationship after another yet not knowing how to digest it, never satisfied.

They never know or get to know the REAL person who is actually standing right in front of them.

All they know is that they want more… and more… and more…

They fantasize that someone ELSE… the “perfect person” is about to walk through the door.

Certain wounded hungry ghosts, may appear like they are available for love, but they really only have an intention to “play the game” the game of seducing and teasing and when love does find them…they reject the person. Their pleasure is in withdrawing the love they seem to be offering. This provides these ghosts with a sense of control so that nobody will ever control them through the strange experience of love.

Hungry Ghosts are the single people who enter huge rooms filled with hundreds of single people and immediately say “ there is no one here tonight” they cannot experience or be satisfied with that which life presents. In terms of relationships, they go around and around on a merry-go-round grabbing for the gold ring which is always just beyond their reach. OR if they do catch it, they soon discover to their horror that it is not actually gold! but brass.

All of this is exhausting and disheartening and makes the hungry ghost very sad.

Even when they are with someone they love, they often wonder, could someone else be their TRUE soul mate out there? Could they missing them?

Their painful affliction, which has become quite familiar, has become hard to change.

Its almost like they have developed an affliction for this pattern. Maybe they love being alone?

What the hungry ghost is lacking is the one missing very important ingredient to falling in love…

PATIENCE

It takes time for a person to feel at home in a relationship and to reveal whom they really are so you can see the good inside. It takes time to wait for another and to develop true caring and trust.

Hungry ghost however have a difficult time with patience.

Starving for food and love they will often grab at anything just to satisfy themselves. Sometimes don’t even know the difference between food and garbage! They take in anything in anyway just as long as they can immediately feel full … it’s the hollow feeling they can’t tolerate that drives their lives

Does this information seem to describe you somewhat?

Hungry Ghosts never satisfied?

What can you do to change to become more successful and break the bad karma?

First and foremost we must STOP our attachment to the patterns and false notions that the love we so desperately crave comes from somewhere, or someone else. When we are dependent upon the external world to fulfill us, sooner or later the rock we keep trying to roll up the mountain begins to fall down.

Conditions change

People leave

Our sense of ourselves falters with the changes

Without the hardships, how can we appreciate what is valuable? And just as quickly, love can happen in a second, but we have to be open and ready to accept it.

We discount so many on first impressions while we are waiting for the “right one” to appear.

Take time today to relax, to be patience.

To know wishing or demanding love to happen NOW will only prolong your search.

Enjoy life as best you can, enjoy the days, evenings and weekends making new friends even if you don’t meet “the one” that very night.

To check out this weeks events CLICK HERE

Lots of fun creative ways to enjoy life, make friends and fall in love!

All the best

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

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* My Love Life…No one is coming

This information is brought to you by Orna!

Hello singles out there!

I want to share 3 important words that have changed my life forever when it came to finding love. Those words are:

Nobody is coming.

 

********************************************
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
********************************************

Listen, if you and I were sitting across from each other in a cafe, and we were being totally honest with each other, here’s what I would say to you (because I care enough about you to give you the straight truth with no sugar coating):

“Is it fair to say that you’ve been struggling with relationships for a while now? Sure sometimes it’s been easier than others, but in the end… here you are… still single and waiting for “the one” to show up.”

“You have to take responsibility for what’s in Your Love Imprint™ and change it so that it guides you toward success… automatically. If you don’t change Your Love Imprint™, I guarantee that your unconscious mind is going to keep making you feel attracted to guys that are wrong for you.”

“Nobody is coming to magically fix things. You have to do the same thing you did in your career and take action so you can be successful.”

Ouch… I know. But in our heart of hearts, you know it’s the truth, and I’m the one who cares enough to give it to you straight.

********************************************
DO I TAKE MY OWN ADVICE?
********************************************

Absolutely.

Once I finally stopped trying to figure out what was wrong with all the men out there and started looking at my own love imprint, I was shocked at what I found in there.

I finally realized that NOTHING I did was going to work until my love imprint was straightened out, and that’s when I took action.  

The result? I met my soulmate, got married, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been 🙂

And guess what? It was EASY! It was sooooooooo much easier once my love imprint was actually working to attract a healthy relationship instead of a toxic one.

What about you?

http://creatingloveonpurpose.com

 

Love and Abundance,

Orna

 

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* I totally get why OLDER MEN, want to date YOUNGER WOMEN

Hi Gail,

I received my matches and honestly do not understand why the lack of matches (?)   I felt a very  good connection with many of the younger women on at least a person level.  Perhaps it is simply an age thing at this point?  I know I am older now, maybe the issue revolves more around being gray and bald? I take really good care of myself and from my perspective, even subtracting for age, I think I would be fairly appealing on various levels to a younger woman.  In the not too distant past, I tried speed dating before and 12 of 15 women were interested.  Any helpful pointers you could offer I would appreciate.  Thanks

Signed “Mr. 49”

___________________________________________________

Dear Mr. 49,

The group of ladies you met last time when you received all those matches were all in the age range of 42-52 – this group of ladies was much younger.

Let me start by saying I can totally understand why older men go for younger women. There’s no denying that they’re, for the most part, in better shape, with better skin, and less baggage from broken relationships.

We older folks may always argue why its best to pick the older mate because “Time creates wisdom”

This is true… but it also creates responsibilities and complications –

Divorce scars, mortgage, kids, career, etc.

All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older.

Hey…let’s face it ladies, it’s a lot easier for an older man with all these responsibilities, to take out a carefree, responsibility free, baggage free, good looking wrinkle free 28-year-old girl!

Now… before any 45+ people get all hot and bothered about this, understand I myself have reached my 52nd birthday and I’m not condoning this. I’m simply just OBSERVING that it happens.

And what I also observe, is Men may want much younger women, but rarely do much younger women want older men. Put another way, if a woman in her 30’s has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is 10 or more YEARS OLDER?

Not many, I’m thinking.

But I bet you are saying to yourself right now…

Hey you’re wrong… I am the exception the 30something year old WILL want  !

I don’t look or feel my age…and my last girlfriend was 15 years younger.

OK so she left me when I lost my job … but we really did love each other!!!

She understood the advantages in dating a 49 year-old guy. He’s a man. He’s got the job and the home and the car, and been divorced with a kid already (ok she did complained a little about the visitation things and my X-wife).

My much young x-girlfriend told me she likes older men because we embody wisdom and stability. We can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts. We’re more experienced, more chivalrous, and more likely to want to settle down than a twenty-something party boy! She even told me once I remind her of her father… strong, nurturing guy who took care of her and treated her like a princess.

Dear older man … there is nothing wrong with you being attracted to a fertile and youthful woman in her 30’s. Really. I’m not judging you. But you must understand that any woman you desire in that age group has choices. Lots and lots of choices. The guy who’s 45- 55 is not on the top of her list. Yes its true. It’s competitive out there for all of us. People have choices. She can go out with a cute, successful man who is 35. Or 40. Or 45. Or 50.

And nobody has more choices than a 30-year-old woman. If she wants to date a guy who is 6’2”, makes $400,000+, likes skiing, is within ten miles of her house and five years of her age, you know what? She could probably find him. All she has to do is go online, and wade through a few thousand applicants, go to a few happy hours or attend a few singles events and have a few 1000 options. The point is, she doesn’t NEED a guy who’s 45 when can find that same amazing guy at age 30. Or 35. Or 40. She doesn’t need a 49 almost 50 something year old guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s in her sexual prime.

Are you getting the idea?

This does not mean that you’re not a great looking in shape guy for your age with a ton to give and the purest intentions. Bald is HOT to many woman,  AND you will on occasion meet a few much younger gals are not so age focused.  What you’re failing to recognize is that what most successful quality younger women really want for the long haul… A peer. A partner or maybe a youthful father for her unborn children to help her raise them.

Not a father figure for herself.

Single middle-aged men and women clients will tell me…”I can’t help what I’m attracted to” And hey, I don’t blame them. However, as long as they close their minds to not dating people who are age-appropriate, they’re really going to struggle and fail miserably.

Singles need to be more flexible about the age thing. Youthful extremely attractive people have tons of options and can afford to be choosy. AND as long as they have the perception of choice, they’re going to choose to trade up for someone a little bit cuter, a little bit richer, a little bit closer. It’s not fair, it’s not right, it just is.

I know… we are just human and want what WE want, even if what we want is unrealistic. So much so are we dazzled by looks and youth that we pass up amazing people OUR OWN AGE who are a much better fit for us.

Yes there will be some younger women that will overlook your age. They usually are the type that have a strong lust of money or maybe they need a daddy figure, but most of the 30 somethings I talk to, are completely creeped out at the prospect of dating a guy who was alive when JFK was alive.

Okay, older men – write to me and tell me why I’m wrong. But don’t forget, you and your younger girlfriends are the EXCEPTION. I’m writing about the RULE.

We all have to come to terms with the person in the mirror as we age. We are no longer on the outside are the youthfully looking person we were 15 years or more ago Mr. Peter Pan…
YES I could afford plastic surgery – how about a face lift, breast lifts, Liposuction or more…
If you ever saw the movie “death becomes her” you would know how I really feel about that kind of stuff.! lol
In the movie, Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn fought dearly to keep their youth.. and paid dearly for it in the end.

Why not accept someone who likes you for you not your money or social status? Keep your box of options wide open and remember ….

Age is just a number.

All the best on your quest!,

Gail

Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously or email me
direct at info@7-in-heaven.com
visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com

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*You always find someone when you’re not looking

This morning I was searching and searching for my mouse pad.
Spent a good 20 minutes or so, checking here…then checking there… huh! 

Where could it have disappeared to? I gave up the search, and opened my laptop.
POP there it was, found it!
On my keyboard hiding.
It kind of reminded me of the cliche while dating “You always find something when you’re not looking.”When someone is frustrated with their love life search, people love to tell you… “You always find someone when you’re not looking.”

The idea is that relationships only come along when you’re so frustrated that you stop looking, like the universe is taking pity on you or something. And the “advice,” is then translated to just stop looking for a relationship.

This cliche is better translated to  “When you lose something, it’s always in the last place you look.”  Because really when you think about nothing is ever really “lost” its just in another place!

But getting back to the original “You always find someone when you’re not looking” I’ll admit it does have some truth to it—as you’re more likely to find a relationship when you’re not spending 12 hours a day on match.com—

but it’s not because you’ve stopped looking.

The people who seem most attractive are those who seem happy, well-adjusted, confident, and, most important—busy. When someone seems like they have a full and exciting life, other people want to be part of it.
Desperate is never pretty.
As one man once said to me… I can smell desperate from a mile away.

When you “stop looking” (which we will translate as “stop looking desperate”), you’re sending these kinds of signals.  Your life seems so cool and interesting that you’re not going to drop everything to look for a boyfriend, and that’s precisely why guys are going to want to be yours.

So the trick isn’t to stop looking; it’s to make it seem as though you’re not looking   But instead to project a persona that seems too awesome to settle for just anyone, and to market your life as something that everyone should want.

This means not skipping the gym for a date with a guy you met casually at Star Bucks the other day

It means not showing up for singles events and have a bored or mad look on your face because prince charming didn’t ride in that night
or making statements like ” I’m giving up! There is no one one out there “ As if this will attract someone to you right away since you have now stopped looking! 

It means building a life that’s totally fun and fulfilling without the partner, but when a partner does comes along, it means making sure he knows you will be a happy person with or without him.

PS of course you can come on out and have fun while you wait for “the one” at our events with
7 in Heaven, so much to do, something for everyone

See you there!

Warm Regards,

Gail Adams

7 in Heaven Singles Events

On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

Web site- www.7-in-heaven.com

631- 592-9804

Personal Matchmaking Services
by  Gail– www.HeavenlyMatch.net

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* Hungry Ghosts lost and looking for love

Hungry Ghosts looking for Love

From one of my favorite books  – Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

What is a Hungry Ghost?

Someone who cannot find love.

Its not that love has not come their way… Hundreds of time in their life they are led to tables spread with endless food and precious delights, but no matter how much they eat (date)… they cannot be satisfied. Either they aren’t at the table in time, or can’t seem to taste the food or no matter how much they put in their mouths, they continue to search for more. Hungry ghosts might sample one relationship after another yet not knowing how to digest it, never satisfied.

 

They never know or get to know the REAL person who is actually standing right in front of them.

 

All they know is that they want more… and more… and more…

 

They fantasize that someone ELSE… the “perfect person” is about to walk through the door.

 

Certain wounded hungry ghosts, may appear like they are available for love, but they really only have an intention to “play the game” the game of seducing and teasing and when love does find them…they reject the person. Their pleasure is in withdrawing the love they seem to be offering. This provides these ghosts with a sense of control so that nobody will ever control them through the strange experience of love.

 

Hungry Ghosts are the single people who enter huge rooms filled with hundreds of single people and immediately say “ there is no one here tonight” they cannot experience or be satisfied with that which life presents. In terms of relationships, they go around and around on a merry-go-round grabbing for the gold ring which is always just beyond their reach. OR if they do catch it, they soon discover to their horror that it is not actually gold! but brass.

 

All of this is exhausting and disheartening and makes the hungry ghost very sad.

 

Even when they are with someone they love, they often wonder, could someone else be their TRUE soul mate out there? Could they missing them?

 

Their painful affliction, which has become quite familiar, has become hard to change.

Its almost like they have developed an affliction for this pattern. Maybe they love being alone?

 

What the hungry ghost is lacking is the one missing very important ingredient to falling in love…

 

PATIENCE

It takes time for a person to feel at home in a relationship and to reveal whom they really are so you can see the good inside. It takes time to wait for another and to develop true caring and trust.

Hungry ghost however have a difficult time with patience.

Starving for food and love they will often grab at anything just to satisfy themselves. Sometimes don’t even know the difference between food and garbage! They take in anything in anyway just as long as they can immediately feel full … it’s the hollow feeling they can’t tolerate that drives their lives.

 

Does this information seem to describe you somewhat?

Hungry Ghosts never satisfied?

What can you do to change to become more successful and break the bad karma?

 

First and foremost we must STOP our attachment to the patterns and false notions that the love we so desperately crave comes from somewhere, or someone else. When we are dependent upon the external world to fulfill us, sooner or later the rock we keep trying to roll up the mountain begins to fall down.

Conditions change

People leave

Our sense of ourselves falters with the changes

 

Without the hardships, how can we appreciate what is valuable? And just as quickly, love can happen in a second, but we have to be open and ready to accept it.

 

We discount so many on first impressions while we are waiting for the “right one” to appear.

 

Take time today to relax, to be patience.

To know wishing or demanding love to happen NOW will only prolong your search.

 

Enjoy life as best you can, enjoy the days, evenings and weekends making new friends even if you don’t meet “the one” that very night.

 

To check out this weeks events CLICK HERE

 

Lots of fun creative ways to enjoy life, make friends and fall in love!

All the best on your quest!

Gail

7 in-Heaven Singles Events
On your search for the one, we make being single fun!

visit the web site to check out our fun
events http:// www.7-in-heaven.com
Opinions? Comments? Personal experiences?
You can comment below anonymously

Read Full Post »